dear facebook

Dear Facebook,

I love the way you have connected me with old friends from high school and I love the way you allow my friends to keep me up to date the with the weekends activities. Ever since I signed up for you I am no longer a social misfit but a prima donna in the world of drunken cottaging and the Queen of Underground Karaoke parties at the Bytown.

But facebook, there are a few issues that we need to resolve in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

First of all, you allow people from high school that I've never even spoken to add me as their friend. I dont know them other than the fact that we were apparently in the same homeroom together in grade 9 before I got the braces off. Its creepy that they remember the overalls and the plaid raincoat I was wearing the first day of high school. Please do not allow these people to seek me out.

Secondly Facebook you've now allowed not one, but TWO ex boyfriends to seek me out and attempt to add me as their "friend". We are not friends. We broke up because one was banging groupies while touring with the Matthew Good Band and the other was nailing his boss in the Royal Oak's beer room. These are not friends, these are men who couldn't keep their dicks in their pants and I wish them nothing but the most degenerate veneral diseases whores like that can come by.

Facebook, I have also become addicted to you to the point where I display withdrawl symptoms if I am away from you for longer than a couple hours at a time. If Im working I break out into a cold sweat wondering who's added me, who's messaged me and what party invites am I missing. If I go longer than a day without checking you I almost seizure. You are worse than heroin.

Facebook you have also gotten me into trouble by allowing me to log on completely shit faced to the point where Ive spilled my poutine all over my laptop. As you already know, drunken Facebooking is considerably worse than drunk dialing. I can deny calling people on purpose when Im loaded I cannot however deny writing self sabatoging messages on peoples walls and telling a booty call how much I enjoyed his throbbing cock last week on his comment page. Please do not let me log onto you when I am this drunk, clearly Im not thinking properly and the Jager-demon has possessed my body / mind.

As well Facebook please stop with the fortune cookies, hugs, smilies, horoscopes, "which family guy character are you" quizzes and other inane bullshit that I must weed through evetytime I log on. Seriously, its annoying and it must stop.

Now Facebook, Im not trying to bring you down, I do love you, I just think we need to communicate with each other to remedy these paticular issues. Especially the drunk one, Sara is still not talking to me. If we can set aside our differences you'll see that we are a match made in virtual Heaven.

Hugs
Me

I left face book to read this message. I am now going back.

[Speechless]

facebook, nexopia, xanga, myspace, all the same to me. I REFUSE TO JOIN.

[esoter1c]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

I left facecrack to read this message. I am now going back.

Co-signage...

[White><Light]

Originally Posted by Speechless

facebook, nexopia, xanga, myspace, all the same to me. I REFUSE TO JOIN.

you are not alone.. i am right there with you

[FeelGood]

haha i received that in an email from a friend.

so funny.

[hardstylin]

dirty facebook

[prozac]

Seriously. Some of the people I have found/have found me...like the boy that completely ripped my heart out in Grade 12, who I cried over for months, who is now "seeking men" in his profile. Makes me feel slightly better about the whole thing but holy fuck is that a weird thing to come across. Or the ex who I agressively do not speak to who keeps repeatedly trying to add me. I think it's just so he can see what I'm doing...

Stalkerbook can be pretty weird sometimes.

[hardstylin]

i get creeped out when strangers poke me daily

[ash1ee]

i keep getting the 'i recognize you from grade 2' requests. and they are all the same. kids, married, kids, married, kids, more kids, knows so and so from working at wal mart.

thank fucking god i left small town alberta when i did.

[FeelGood]

you can get rid of ppl who have added you to their 'friends' you know.

[Phrenetic]

i like facebook. its cool to see how many connects i have

and i found and reconnected with 2 long lost friends. people from elementary school i haven't seen in years. and they all ended up in a 5 mile radius from where i live

id say amazing

[esoter1c]

Facebook is a backstabbing, friend stealing, gf/bf cheating, drug dealing, cat raping, dog punching, pedophile stalking, hemorrhoid popping, fart felching, titty twisting, cock gargling, ass munching, shit sniffing, money laundering, terrorist bombing, electronic malfunctioning, herpes passing, diarrhea squirting, aids catching, orgy inducing, fast talking, time consuming, ego feeding, fear mongering, nigerian scamming, child beating, inbred incesting, big brothering, soul selling, fast food puking, designer label buying, gasoline guzzling, suicide killing, ozone layer depleting, bomb making, gun smuggling, sex trade working, fake rolex selling, pervert fantasizing, illegal gambling, poker playing, blood diamond dealing, rat faced squealing, meal worm mealing, child molesting, dine n dashing, breaking & entering, dope growing, car stealing, stock market crashing, swine swilling, cow tipping, fur wearing, meat eating, blood sucking, jew hating, price inflating, world domineering, brainwashing................attention whore.

Did you add me yet ?

[galaxie]

Facebook is a giant waste of my life.
BUT it's better than what I would be doing otherwise - watching crappy reality TV. Thanks, facebook! :P

[Lush]

^ Oh totally, I don't even think I can handle another rerun of Flavor of Love or the Pussycat Dolls, at least with Facebook I convince myself that i'm doing something productive (networking) and making weekend plans.

[Carrie]

I have not joined facebook or myspace.

I feel my friends arn't my real friends.. but I'm still not going to join

[diva]

The Hills People
The Hills

[FeelGood]

this thread makes me want to sign onto facebook right now

[t-skywalker]

im addicted,... its true:(

[baby-phat]

I fnk and facebook simultaneously.. :oh:

Originally Posted by t-skywalker

im addicted,... its true:(

me too..

PS- check yer inbox there. lol

[SEAN!]

im mildly addicted to facebook, the most annoying things are the constant invites to shit clubs nights and even shittier groups, not too mention the incessant poking.

if people i dont like add me i just ignore them, no biggie

[miss.myra]

facebook relationship status update: it seemed like a good idea at the time

[MissBehavior]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

facebook relationship status update: it seemed like a good idea at the time

Hahaha. Seriously, eh?

One of my friends changed hers from "In a relationship" to single, and had no less than 30 wall posts/messages in less than 12 hours from her friends around the world.

She no longer lists her relationship status. :P

[Kraig]

Avana -- you can control all that shit. I've blocked all those annoying fucking vampire bites and bullshit. It takes a bit of time, but once configured is a god send. :)

[matéo]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

i get creeped out when strangers poke me daily

Hey dude, I think the reason for this is that if you poke them back and you havent changed your privacy settings, they would be able to see your profile for 30 days.