would u relocate for another?

[KrisisID]

if it was a long term thing. then for sure.

[Pussy*Kat]

Speaking from experiance, things change after relocation.

Relationship dynamics change. You see the real sides of people, not the "phone convo" or "webcam" side, people are even different if you only see them once a month.

I dont know. I dont regret moving to the mainland for someone. Would I do it again? No. If they want to be with you enough, they will move to you. Why assume you should be the one to sacrifice everything?

Its something that would have to be discussed throughly.

[SEAN!]

Of course

[miss.myra]

It's not really a black and white issue and there are so many things to consider. I had someone relocate mostly for me, and it didn't work out in the end, but I know it's better for them that they did make the move in the end because their life has improved in so many ways since then.

Personally, I think young ppl get way too excited in the early stages of love where they would give up anything to be with the person and end up giving away far too much of themselves for another person. There's a time and place for everything, and I think ultimately even if you're super into the other person that sometimes it's not always the right time.

[ebbomega]

Pretty much everything that Myra just said.

[ash1ee]

as long as there are opportunities for both people involved in a new place...i'd say yes.

[mapleleaf4ever]

Depends on job prospects and the longevity prospects of the relationship.

I've relocated for work before so I'd definitely consider it.

[pstylez]

Originally Posted by ash1ee

as long as there are opportunities for both people involved in a new place...i'd say yes.

And sometimes opportunities arise in the most unlikely and suprising circumstances.

[ash1ee]

to add to my answer...

as long as myra can still live down the hall. :)

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by Pussy*Kat

No. If they want to be with you enough, they will move to you. Why assume you should be the one to sacrifice everything?

How can you make that argument, when the other person in a relationship could just as easily say the exact same thing back to you?

[Disco_Whore]

^I can see it making sense if the person only demands that you move to them and won't consider making the same sacrifice.

AND I can also see it from the female standpoint that some guys will expect the girl to move to be with them. Not necessarily as much now, but there's been a trend in the past. A lot of my friends' moms left their jobs/cities/etc for their significant others, my own mom included who STILL regrets never finishing her degree, and later leaving her stable job to help my dad start his restaurant.

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by Grapes

How can you make that argument, when the other person in a relationship could just as easily say the exact same thing back to you?

I totally agree. I think that both parties have to consider all the factors involved and come to a mutually agreeable decision. For Tim and I, it was always the plan for me to move, because positions in my field are constantly open in any relatively large city, and also because I do university through distance education, which can be done anywhere. However, with his plan to go to medical school, he doesn't have the luxury of being able to pick wherever he wants to go and go there. He will go to our top choice school (keyword: OUR) of whichever ones he is accepted at.

We talked about this pretty much as soon as we began dating - like less than two months in. Neither of us wanted to waste our time if we weren't on the same page. There's no point in building a relationship if it's built on false hope and lacks communication.

I think that there is often a disconnect when it comes to future plans and expectations especially in relationships involving relocation. People are often afraid to ask the tough questions because they're scared of the answers so they just go on false hope.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by galaxie

I think that there is often a disconnect when it comes to future plans and expectations especially in relationships involving relocation. People are often afraid to ask the tough questions because they're scared of the answers so they just go on false hope.

Partially, but where is it written that all relationships must end as failures?

I dunno, I just came out of a rather excellent relationship that didn't work because of relocation issues. But I don't think either of us is regretful of the experience, even though we knew pretty full well going into it that it wasn't going to work out in the end. We didn't bother dealing with that issue until it came to fruition.

We went our separate ways and I'm happy to say that I've learned a lot along the way.

Of course, this is after a relationship where too much investment in the future turned out to be a negative impact on me. So the pendulum really swings both ways.

[stephen_c]

ok,
what if relocation meant the other side of the world,
livin in a different culture,
immersed in a language very different from english.

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Partially, but where is it written that all relationships must end as failures?

All relationships end. Period. Even couples that are together 50, 60, 70 years. Nothing lasts forever.

On a less abstract/morbid note, while I might regret a few things about how relationships I've been in panned out, I don't regret the fact any of them happened.

I don't know, where's the line between "failure" and "didn't work out"?

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Partially, but where is it written that all relationships must end as failures?

I dunno, I just came out of a rather excellent relationship that didn't work because of relocation issues. But I don't think either of us is regretful of the experience, even though we knew pretty full well going into it that it wasn't going to work out in the end. We didn't bother dealing with that issue until it came to fruition.

We went our separate ways and I'm happy to say that I've learned a lot along the way.

Of course, this is after a relationship where too much investment in the future turned out to be a negative impact on me. So the pendulum really swings both ways.

Well, I guess it depends on where you are in your life and what you want out of the relationship. At the time we started dating, I wasn't interested in just dating someone for the sake of being in a relationship or having new experiences, I was at the point in my life where I was ready to find "the one". I want to get married and start a family soon, so being in a relationship I knew wouldn't ultimately work out wasn't an option for me.

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by Grapes

All relationships end. Period. Even couples that are together 50, 60, 70 years. Nothing lasts forever.

I think that's a matter of opinion. Depending on what your beliefs of the after-life are, you may believe that you'll carry on to the next life with your husband/wife/significant other.

[Grapes]

I doubt the next life lasts forever either.

[robyn]

man i can't wait to have sex with the exact same person for fucking eternity

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by Grapes

I doubt the next life lasts forever either.

True, but you never know.
I'm one of those people who admits that I have no idea what will come after this life, if anything, so I don't rule anything out. Sure, I have my doubts and things I hope for, like seeing loved ones who have passed on, but I won't know until I die, and I sure don't plan on doing that anytime soon!

Depends where I get to move and collect residency/citizenship;

Australia, Miami, Hawaii, Europe: yes I would

Alaska, North Korea, Siberia: No I would not

[Lil Jenna]

Once my bf and I are both done school we are thinking of moving across the country.

So yes I would.

[Bitchin]

I've considered it before.. and would...

my boyfriend is in the process of relocating closer to moi at the moment! <3
then... we're possibly thinkin... of relocation to far far away land.. but thats only in discussion mode right now. got a few things to do before that.....

[Erin]

I live with my boyfriend right now. If he had to move somewhere then I would go with him no questions asked. And he would do the same for me. But if I met someone that already lived somewhere else, then I don't think I would. I don't think I would ever know someone that lived far away from me enough to re-locate to where they lived. I just don't see how you can know someone by spending time with them every few months and talking on the phone. You just don't see everything about that person like that.

[Erin]

Originally Posted by Bitchin

I've considered it before.. and would...

my boyfriend is in the process of relocating closer to moi at the moment! <3
then... we're possibly thinkin... of relocation to far far away land.. but thats only in discussion mode right now. got a few things to do before that.....

You guys are cute. But please don't go far away. :( I would have to move with you guys... That means I'd have to bring Jeff with me... It would be way to much work! :)