dating again...?

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by axion

the dating 'scene' is hurting.

haha totally, I hate being 'out there', I really do.

[MistressSpankME]

Thanks for all the advice guys.. in response, I'm not necessarilly LOOKING, but... I'm "supposed" to go out and spread my wings before I maybe settle down with "someone". My last bike was pretty much the only bike that never fucked me over. I just don't know if its possible to find another perfect bike if it took me so long to find one in the first place. Maybe I just need a friendly bike to play with while my other bike is in the shop :P
ok this bike metaphor is going too far haha!

I'm not scared of finding someone, and I hope I dont come off as desperate... I'm just afraid because I dont think I know what i'm doing, and if I do find someone I don't want to be all retarded and/or end up getting hurt. I dont even know how to meet guy friends! if I meet someone out somewhere they usually seem to want more... Maybe I'll just hang out with my friends and meet there friends, thats my plan anyways.

bah I'm just a little freaked out, I know I'll do fine but its scary and it sucks that I even have to do this. but I know I'll regret it if I ever do settle down and never had spread my wings (part of that being JUST ME, not me plus boyfriend)

[MistressSpankME]

p.s. I think I might be in a little bit of a rush because he didn't waste anytime... and that hurts.

But I know its silly to rush anything just to prove something or fill a hole.

[rawb]

Originally Posted by MistressSpankME

or fill a hole.

looool

but seriously, sometimes you just have to take some time out for yourself. read some books, take some baths, get some massages, eat some ice cream with girlfriends. buy pretty things and WEAR THEM.

[Bevvy Swift]

Originally Posted by MistressSpankME

After a long, serious relationship. Is it like riding a bike? Because I'm scared shitless and I dont even want to get on!


Ok maybe I want to get on, or more appropriately, off ;). But I'll probably freak and ditch it before I can fall off and get hurt. It sure doesn't help either that things are kind of complicated....

I dont even know if I ever learnt how to properly "date", or if I have the communication skills to tell someone from the start that I dont want to be "with" anyone. And I think I've trusted like 2 boyfriends in my whole life so how on earth am I supposed to trust anyone else? Not to mention that most boys suck compared to my "boy" or whatever he is now :P

I'm not even the kind to have meaningless random sex. What the hell am I supposed to do!?! ack :/


p.s. This is a semi plea for help from my friends.. especially the single ones. I need to get out and meet cool boys (and maybe some girls while I'm at it) at least so I can convince myself they exist.

wow i know exactly how you feel. its not just trust for me, its just like going back to square one and having to get to know someone then finding out that your not even very attracted to them. its like no one quite measures up..

pm me if you want someone to whine with, im in the same boat.

[dj sezra]

In My experience the hardest part is moving on. And it doesnt help when you hope and hope that you get back together, and then you find out that the other half has already done so. It does hurt but thats the whole experiance of dating, and the best part of it all is knowing that there are so many other fish in the sea just waiting to get caught. Go out and have fun, meet people and just role with the punches. If only I could take my own advice I would probably be alot happeir.

Cheers Jacob

[Bevvy Swift]

Originally Posted by dj sezra

In My experience the hardest part is moving on. And it doesnt help when you hope and hope that you get back together, and then you find out that the other half has already done so. It does hurt but thats the whole experiance of dating, and the best part of it all is knowing that there are so many other fish in the sea just waiting to get caught. Go out and have fun, meet people and just role with the punches. If only I could take my own advice I would probably be alot happeir.

Cheers Jacob

amen.

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by dj sezra

In My experience the hardest part is moving on. And it doesnt help when you hope and hope that you get back together, and then you find out that the other half has already done so. It does hurt but thats the whole experiance of dating, and the best part of it all is knowing that there are so many other fish in the sea just waiting to get caught. Go out and have fun, meet people and just role with the punches. If only I could take my own advice I would probably be alot happeir.

Cheers Jacob

I really wish more people out there would be a lot more proactive when it comes to moving on with their lives, when you're ready to date, you'll probably meet a lot of totally awesome people who have so much baggage that it never works out. That's really frustrating.

[Bevvy Swift]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

I really wish more people out there would be a lot more proactive when it comes to moving on with their lives, when you're ready to date, you'll probably meet a lot of totally awesome people who have so much baggage that it never works out. That's really frustrating.

double amen.

[dj sezra]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

I really wish more people out there would be a lot more proactive when it comes to moving on with their lives, when you're ready to date, you'll probably meet a lot of totally awesome people who have so much baggage that it never works out. That's really frustrating.

I would have to say that my x is the hardest girl that i ever had to move on from. And the sad thing is that we were only gong out for a month. All my "baggage" stole our relationship away from the both of us and thats not fair for either parrty. Now I can laugh it up and say to myself "what were yopu thinkin, why would you bring those things up"? I would have to say that my baggage is legitamet. Its not like I have emotional problems that sprung up out of nowhere.
I have reasons for being the person I am today. And I just hope that I can find someone that is understanding enough to know why I do some of the things i do and why I look off into the distance staring & nothing, lost in my thoughts. I am a normal 20yr old but I do have some wierd quirks. anybody interested?? LOL

[yoko*]

Quoting myself, "the best relationship I've had so far is the one I'm currently having with myself". I honestly don't remember being this happy and content with myself in about 3 years... and it's because I'm investing time in making myself happy instead of anyone else. I think that at least for me, the best way to go is to give it some time after a long term relationship.. Dating is really only fun when your heart is 100% ready for it.

[rawb]

Originally Posted by miss.myra

I really wish more people out there would be a lot more proactive when it comes to moving on with their lives, when you're ready to date, you'll probably meet a lot of totally awesome people who have so much baggage that it never works out. That's really frustrating.

everyone has baggage, regardless. people wont know if they're ready to date unless they try, onus is on you to size them up before you go out.

[miss.myra]

^ totally true, everyone always has baggage- how they cope with it, how they've dealt with it and how ready they are to jump into something new always varies though.

[bebu*funfun]

so how long does it actually take to get over someone? or be ready for a new relationship? i really disagree with ppl who say "im not ready for a relationship" because i find it just an easy excuse to push away an oppurtunity. its the easy way out to say "im just not attracted to u and i dont have feelings for u". i think if somone meets the right person they'll just feel ready.. they'll want to just be adventurous and give it a try. im one to truly believe that sometimes it takes a new relationship to help get over an old relationship. have a lil fun, go out meet ppl, if ure suddenly intersted in someone, give it a try... got nothing to lose. absolutely hate ppl who decide to stare a wall and try to get over an old relationship.. so useless.

[Gusto]

Originally Posted by bebu*funfun

so how long does it actually take to get over someone? or be ready for a new relationship? i really disagree with ppl who say "im not ready for a relationship" because i find it just an easy excuse to push away an oppurtunity. its the easy way out to say "im just not attracted to u and i dont have feelings for u". i think if somone meets the right person they'll just feel ready.. they'll want to just be adventurous and give it a try. im one to truly believe that sometimes it takes a new relationship to help get over an old relationship. have a lil fun, go out meet ppl, if ure suddenly intersted in someone, give it a try... got nothing to lose. absolutely hate ppl who decide to stare a wall and try to get over an old relationship.. so useless.

agreed, except sometimes you can be attracted to and have feelings for someone, without them being the right person for you. but for sure, you'll get nowhere without taking risks.

[Tea]

Originally Posted by rawb

RULE #1
DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH GUSTO

IT'S HARD BUT TRY

LOL

That was really funny.

[Tea]

Dont push yourself to do anything. Do not apply force. Make sure you feel ready, dont think for a second that you have to be up and over your ex in a week. You can't help what you feel and should really give yourself the time you need to feel you are strong enough to move on. And when you are Just go and have fun in your own light, dont be out looking for boys, focus on yourself and your friends and BAM someones hitting on you; but that doesnt always mean much, generally its some guy swooning all over you. He may say ANYTHING if he think he is going to get laid and then the moment it happends he'll be like, "actually i hate smokers", which is why you want to avoid the rush.

Fools rush in. Fools rush out.

Get to know somebody. Make a friend. And don't think you are uncapable of having a good conversation with a new prospect, if you've been in a realtionship before that shows you were once at the start, and you made it through to a different stage and can do it again.

Every realationship past is lessons learned. You are now stronger and wiser for the next, and one day...who knows?

[dapimpstress]

Originally Posted by rawb

looool

but seriously, sometimes you just have to take some time out for yourself. read some books, take some baths, get some massages, eat some ice cream with girlfriends. buy pretty things and WEAR THEM.

wow, you DO know just wut a girl needs at a time like this. and that amazes me. hahaha. rad.

[Two_Six]

Just take your time, the worst thing to do is to rush into things too fast. There also has to be more to a relationship then just sex. First become friends and get to know one another before you start dating or if you do start dating right away, be very casual and take your time.

[Gusto]

Originally Posted by Tea

LOL

That was really funny.

for real, though, some of you will only end up disappointed.

[Tea]

Originally Posted by gusto

for real, though, some of you will only end up disappointed.

It's okay. You can't help it if your too in love with yourself to love someone else. (boo love) You dont have to share. lol

Your love planet is ruled by the loner sign.

you can still be a cute lone ranger though. Or maybe little boy blue meets lone ranger?

the sky is the limit for solitude. do it up.

[mapleleaf4ever]

Originally Posted by Tea

Or maybe little boy blue meets lone ranger?

Are you calling gusto a little light in the Loafers? ;)

[Gusto]

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

Are you calling gusto a little light in the Loafers? ;)

are you hitting on me?

[mapleleaf4ever]

Why do you ask? Are you interested? lol

[Gusto]

i need wum's big nervous smilie