how do people do it

[kit kat]

Is there any way to make the transition from love to friends easy.
Everytime a convorsation happens, one party ends up thinking there is hope. A chance for the future. Then their told that no, theres not hope, but hey were buddies right. Taking a break seems to be like the answer, but forcing oneself to not talk to the person that makes you so happy is soo hard.

Not to mention the drunk calls at 4am, saying i miss you, im sorry we fought. I just want to be with you, but im so far away i dont know what to do about it.

You tell em not to call ya drunk anymore, and you get accused of not wanting to talk to them. Them saying fine, if you want to talk then you can call me.

Whats a person to do. How do you make the pain go away, without loosing somone so important and valuable.

[Pennywise]

its one of the hardest things that one person has to deal with//
i was in this boat about a year ago...


i guess you gotta let them realize..that you as a friend is better than not having you in thier life @ all

if they dont see it that way...well thats thier loss
thats how i lost one of my best friends...
i didnt see it that way...all i could see..was us being together
now we dont even keep in touch:(

[Euro Dollar]

Originally Posted by kit kat

Is there any way to make the transition from love to friends easy.
Everytime a convorsation happens, one party ends up thinking there is hope. A chance for the future. Then their told that no, theres not hope, but hey were buddies right. Taking a break seems to be like the answer, but forcing oneself to not talk to the person that makes you so happy is soo hard.

Not to mention the drunk calls at 4am, saying i miss you, im sorry we fought. I just want to be with you, but im so far away i dont know what to do about it.

You tell em not to call ya drunk anymore, and you get accused of not wanting to talk to them. Them saying fine, if you want to talk then you can call me.

Whats a person to do. How do you make the pain go away, without loosing somone so important and valuable.

not gonna happen, forget them and move on, all it's gonna do is cause you and them more pain...

[ebbomega]

"stop calling me" works.

So what if they accuse you of not wanting to talk to them? FUCK YEAH I don't want to talk to my ex at 4am because they got plastered and have regrets. If it's over, it's over. Sever it. Yeah, you can interact, but 4am while drunk is not the right time. Especially if one party is sleeping.

That's a basic matter of common courtesy. And if your ex can't figure that out, then that's their problem. I'd hang up on them pretty quickly on a call like that.

[Bitchin]

Yup it's possible!

I'm living proof.

It's not the exact friendship you had from when you first were friends... but it can be close enough if your both at a good understanding... and you can get past the feelings and crap.

I know with some people it just wont be possible though... just cause of the situations.

I think I'm sorta lucky... I guess.

I'm one that can keep the friendship and the relationship apart.

[miss.myra]

"staying friends" immediately after a breakup is nearly impossible.

I find maintaining space in the immediate future after a breakup is essential, space and time to grow, move on and deal with the hardships endured as a part of everything will make any kind of friendship a lot more possible in the future.

[Pennywise]

myra comes to the rescue yet again

[t-skywalker]

i cant lie..it will always be strange. i mean i have alot of friends who were x's and honestly no matter how close the friendship..there will always be sexual tension there...ALWAYS** and when one person is lonely they try to persue the other in weekness..human nature..its just what happens..now very usual that you both are totally over one another with no inner feelings..

[kit kat]

neither one of us are over it. We both just want the other one to believe it. Which i totally know isnt healthy. Both of us got SO mad when we found out the other had since been with somone else. Both of us want to be with the other. But we 16 hours apart. And know that it wouldnt have worked. But when ur that far apart, you forget how unhappy you were.

Thanks for your words of encouragment. I know it will get easier. But its nice to hear from people who dont know all the dirty details. Moving on and being our own people is getting easier. Re-newing old friendships has been a big help. And if that person reads this, he'll hopefully know. Its hard to feel such strong feelings of lust for somone when Im going through this. But im hoping that person knows that Im not going to let this recent relationship jepordize what we might have. Im sure i didnt say that reasuringly at all, but i think he knows me well enough. At least I hope.

(please tell me i didnt just ruin somthing ELSE that could have rocked)

[mugsy]

i only rarely talk to one ex due to the recent events in our lives that happen to coincide. he called me for advice and for someone who understood to listen. i think the fact that hes living with his lady, and im outrageously in love with someone that there never was an awkwardness.
for me mostly - the relationships that i've had have ended in an awful state. so re-newing friendship never really was something i would want to do. my guess would be in only gets comfertable when both parties have fully moved on?

i donno. thats deffinately a tough cookie.

[Play-it-hard]

Its so hard when you are that far away, I find that if you jus dont talk to them for a little bit then you can gather up your thoughts and get a clear head, And really think hard, Is it worth all the pain, cause people change and grow apart all the time and all you can do is move on, You WILL find someone else who is just as good if not better thats what you have to keep thinking