a joke for the stoners

krisamata · #1 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few doobies. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "Fuuuuuuck dude!....... How much water did you drink?!!"

PwInCeSs · #2 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hehe
sute
cuter if i was stoned

{dC!} · #3 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

Your stoned like 75% of the time Sam ... ^

Sue Bitch · #4 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

i like monkeys

Euro Dollar · #5 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

how many doobies did they smoke? i want the exact number, and also the exact amount in grams...

Euro Dollar · #6 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

That's not including the weight of the rolling papers!!! i hate it when people exaggerate...

Bitchin · #7 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hahaha.

LeeBrat · #8 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

haha, that joke was soo cute :):):) im gonna have to remember that one

C_squared · #9 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hillarious!

Egor: We could smoke that stupid monkey under the table!

Euro Dollar · #10 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

lol i've never been too stoned to tell the difference between a small lizard and a friggin' crocodile!!!

that monkey's been smoking more then just weed i gather!!!

Euro Dollar · #11 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

way to edit your post carlos...

C_squared · #12 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

Quote:

Originally Posted by €uro Dollar

way to edit your post carlos...

what are you talking about, stoner?

Sniper · #13 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hahahaha.......Thats funny

decypher · #14 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

Ok, so maybe i'm to ripped, cuz the logic of that joke just flew right over my head. All i could think of was a talking aligator.

i didn't even laugh, Kenny grants signature animation, in the djm1000 thread, made me laugh more

mapleleaf4ever · #15 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

I laughed... but then again I blazed like 10 minutes ago. :somatic:

Juicyka · #16 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hahahahaha...thats cute

{dC!} · #17 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

Your cute ... ^

This weekend we'll all get together and smoke a phat bowl along with other activities for my birthday!

Berta · #18 (**permalink**) Jan 17, 05

hahahh i like it:)

Euro Dollar · #19 (**permalink**) Jan 18, 05

Quote:

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

I laughed... but then again I blazed like 10 minutes ago. :somatic:

i been laughing before i even opened this thread... i'm still laughing, *check my last post date*

dapimpstress · #20 (**permalink**) Jan 18, 05

Quote:

Originally Posted by C_squared

hillarious!

Egor: We could smoke that stupid monkey under the table!

i could MOS DEF rawk that monkey in the smokin dept.

i smoke tougher than n e 1 i know.. haha.. that was cute tho.

crookedking · #21 (**permalink**) Jan 18, 05

Quote:

Originally Posted by krisamata

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few doobies. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "Fuuuuuuck dude!....... How much water did you drink?!!"

that joke has been jacked!

~stimulous~ · #22 (**permalink**) Jan 19, 05

awsome!

reminds me of a joke a friend told me. i'll see what i can remember....

so, Skippy the rabbit is running through the jungle one day. run. run. run, when he comes across Lexy the squirrel cutting herself a line of blow.

"don't do that", said Skippy, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with me instead."

Lexy thinks about it for a second and then decides to go with skippy. run. run. run....until they come across John the zebra who was just about to smoke some crack.

"don't do that", said Lexy, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with us instead."

Well, John thinks about it for a sec and then decides to go with them. run. run. run.....until they come across Zee the lion rolling up a joint.

"don't do that", said John, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with us instead."

Zee looks at them and says, "ehhh...fuk dat man.....rabbit's been poppin' E an' makin' I run tru da jungle for de past tree daays!"

~god~ · #23 (**permalink**) Jan 19, 05

I was watching this random standup comedy a while ago.. and this reminded me of this black dude throwing down his hizzy:
it went something like:
".so i went to the zoo the other day.. and this monkey started talking to me. I was walking past the cage when he went 'psssssstt'. So i go to him and ask what i want. he goes, 'you got a smoke?'.. i go 'no i don't'
'bullshit'
'im serious i ain't got none'
'I don't believe you'
'I ain't shittin you man. I ain't got no smokes'
(PAUSE)
'what about some pot?'
'nah dude'
'BULLSHIT!!'
'no man i ain't got no pot'
'i said BULLSHIT. look at you *****.. you's stoned right now!!'
'what the fuck? i'm stoned now?'
'yes *****!!'
'why you say that?'
'cause monkeys don't talk motherfucker!!'

haha its a good joke if told well. :)

LeeBrat · #24 (**permalink**) Jan 19, 05

^^lol...that was quite funny aswell :)

Euro Dollar · #25 (**permalink**) Jan 19, 05

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~stimulous~

awsome!

reminds me of a joke a friend told me. i'll see what i can remember....

so, Skippy the rabbit is running through the jungle one day. run. run. run, when he comes across Lexy the squirrel cutting herself a line of blow.

"don't do that", said Skippy, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with me instead."

Lexy thinks about it for a second and then decides to go with skippy. run. run. run....until they come across John the zebra who was just about to smoke some crack.

"don't do that", said Lexy, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with us instead."

Well, John thinks about it for a sec and then decides to go with them. run. run. run.....until they come across Zee the lion rolling up a joint.

"don't do that", said John, "that's bad for you. come running through the jungle with us instead."

Zee looks at them and says, "ehhh...fuk dat man.....rabbit's been poppin' E an' makin' I run tru da jungle for de past tree daays!"

i think if you added something like...

then the lion grabbed all three sparked up a doobie and said "perfect, now i got the munchies covered"

it would've been complete...

otherwise, i like that joke... lol