cheating a piss test

[Skitzo_Style]

i feel like i accomplished something really special today.

because of my craftiness, wittiness, and over-all genius (i know i am be conceded and egotistical, but i am too happy to care!), i was able to fake a piss with clean urine, and as a result, passed a drug test i should have failed from smoking pot 3 weeks ago.

but this wasn't any ordinary drug test. this was a drug test to land myself an apprenticeship as a plumber. because of this, i will be making $23/hr to start and by the time i am a journeyman, i will be making $45/hour and up. because i passed this test, i have now set myself up for something i can always fall back on, no matter what i decide to pursue as a career in the future.

i am sooooo happy right now, words cannot express it. i'm on top of the world, and no one can take it from me!!!


P.S. did you know that specail k is not on most drug tests? nethier did i, until today.

[mapleleaf4ever]

hah hah haaa good job!

[Skitzo_Style]

thanks dude!

make sure you let the nebrew know!

[Chewy]

dont you feel that you have cheater yourself? what about that hot burning sensation on the back of your neck?

[b0ld]

drugs are bad kids.... mmmmkkkk......

[Toxxin Ephekt]

Dude....Aren't you gonna tell us how you did it?

[Play-it-hard]

did you warm it up and everything haha

[Carrie]

are you going to stop smoking pot now?

[Séguin]

watch they come back and tell you you have the aids.

[PwInCeSs]

CUSTARD posting:

after you get alot of experience working with pvc, you gotta build, or give me directions on how to build the ultimate beer bong. No matter how many plumbers i ask, nobody is willing to help.

[Skitzo_Style]

Originally Posted by Toxxin Ephekt

Dude....Aren't you gonna tell us how you did it?

i got ahold of some clean urine of a buddy, filled a heavy duty ballon tied a elastic band around the end of the ballon, staped it to my groin, sewed a hand warmer to the choda section of my boxers (to keep the urine at body tempurture) then fastened a bobby pin and a peice of duct tape to the inside of my zipper. when i got into the bathroom, i took out the pin as i unzipped my pants, pulled out the ballon as if i was pulling out my genitals from my underwear, made a tiny hole directly in the centre of the the ballon, let a little bit of it pass into the toilet to not raise suspition, then i filled it up. the trick was to then to seal the hole with the duct tape and put it back in the same spot in my underwear.

after that, the man instructed me not to flush or turn on the sink's tap until he has inspected the bathroom. after he saw nothing out of place, he conducted the test, test determind that there was no drugs in the urine, he flushed the sample down the toilet, and let me go. once i got a block away, i threw the ballon and hand warmer away, and that's all she wrote! =)

[Skitzo_Style]

Originally Posted by PwInCeSs

CUSTARD posting:

after you get alot of experience working with pvc, you gotta build, or give me directions on how to build the ultimate beer bong. No matter how many plumbers i ask, nobody is willing to help.

i'll do what i can nathan.

it'll be a late wedding present!

[Skitzo_Style]

Originally Posted by Chewy

don't you feel that you have cheated yourself?

not really.

i found out that i was going to be tested on saturday. that gave me 2 days to prepare. if anything i was given an unfair disadvantage.

besides, as soon as i realized i was leaving ontario i stopped blazing.

[Toxxin Ephekt]

Nice, props on the job well done, Damn the man, and beat the system biatch!

[Heffy]

You sneaky SOB. Way to stick it to the man LOL!

[Skitzo_Style]

i wasn't doing it because i feel i should be able to do drugs (in fact, i am completly against it).

i did it because it gave me the opportunaty to make a better life for myself. if i knew i was going to get tested as soon as i got here, i would have quit months ago.

[wishbone]

I called your employer and linked them to this thread.

sorry

[beedub]

Originally Posted by Skitzo_Style

...as a result, passed a drug test i should have failed from smoking pot 3 weeks ago....

WTF they can detect after 3 weeks? That's a long time.

[Skitzo_Style]

they can detect from 4 days to 11 weeks after using THC.

i might have passed it, but the chance was too high that i would fail.

[galaxie]

Originally Posted by Skitzo_Style

i got ahold of some clean urine of a buddy, filled a heavy duty ballon tied a elastic band around the end of the ballon, staped it to my groin, sewed a hand warmer to the choda section of my boxers (to keep the urine at body tempurture) then fastened a bobby pin and a peice of duct tape to the inside of my zipper. when i got into the bathroom, i took out the pin as i unzipped my pants, pulled out the ballon as if i was pulling out my genitals from my underwear, made a tiny hole directly in the centre of the the ballon, let a little bit of it pass into the toilet to not raise suspition, then i filled it up. the trick was to then to seal the hole with the duct tape and put it back in the same spot in my underwear.

after that, the man instructed me not to flush or turn on the sink's tap until he has inspected the bathroom. after he saw nothing out of place, he conducted the test, test determind that there was no drugs in the urine, he flushed the sample down the toilet, and let me go. once i got a block away, i threw the ballon and hand warmer away, and that's all she wrote! =)

haha dude, holy shit!

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

I guess congratulations are in order? haha =D

[broken_angel69]

Holy shit, nice job! I would have been scared shitless of getting caught trying to pull something like that off.

[christoqher]

Originally Posted by Skitzo_Style

i got ahold of some clean urine of a buddy, filled a heavy duty ballon tied a elastic band around the end of the ballon, staped it to my groin, sewed a hand warmer to the choda section of my boxers (to keep the urine at body tempurture) then fastened a bobby pin and a peice of duct tape to the inside of my zipper. when i got into the bathroom, i took out the pin as i unzipped my pants, pulled out the ballon as if i was pulling out my genitals from my underwear, made a tiny hole directly in the centre of the the ballon, let a little bit of it pass into the toilet to not raise suspition, then i filled it up. the trick was to then to seal the hole with the duct tape and put it back in the same spot in my underwear.

after that, the man instructed me not to flush or turn on the sink's tap until he has inspected the bathroom. after he saw nothing out of place, he conducted the test, test determind that there was no drugs in the urine, he flushed the sample down the toilet, and let me go. once i got a block away, i threw the ballon and hand warmer away, and that's all she wrote! =)

HAHA that's like james bond, I gota question. Did you get any of his (friends) clean pee on you?

[Skitzo_Style]

Originally Posted by christoqher

HAHA that's like james bond, I gota question. Did you get any of his (friends) clean pee on you?

not a fucking drop! =)

that's was the best part!!!

[MissBehavior]

Originally Posted by Skitzo_Style

i got ahold of some clean urine of a buddy, filled a heavy duty ballon tied a elastic band around the end of the ballon, staped it to my groin, sewed a hand warmer to the choda section of my boxers (to keep the urine at body tempurture) then fastened a bobby pin and a peice of duct tape to the inside of my zipper. when i got into the bathroom, i took out the pin as i unzipped my pants, pulled out the ballon as if i was pulling out my genitals from my underwear, made a tiny hole directly in the centre of the the ballon, let a little bit of it pass into the toilet to not raise suspition, then i filled it up. the trick was to then to seal the hole with the duct tape and put it back in the same spot in my underwear.

after that, the man instructed me not to flush or turn on the sink's tap until he has inspected the bathroom. after he saw nothing out of place, he conducted the test, test determind that there was no drugs in the urine, he flushed the sample down the toilet, and let me go. once i got a block away, i threw the ballon and hand warmer away, and that's all she wrote! =)

Haha...That's actually quite impressive.