socially avoiding coworkers

[azazel]

so i started at a new place this week.

i'm one of those people who might have undiagnosed social anxiety, which is triggered in only very particular situations. case in point: i usually have a pretty good time with close friends but sometimes I have to 're-break' the ice all over again. For some reason, at my new place I've barely said two words to some of the people there. my voice comes out really quiet, and I get uncomfortable and laugh nervously. our first lunch there i just kept staring at my water bottle until someone asked me something and i had to repeat it two times, and everyone kinda looked at me funny afterward.

anyway, they're good people but today i had my lunch upstairs away from them. i don't want to come off as an ass or anything like that. can people tell when someone is sorta shy vs arrogant?

also, today while doing our thing I could see my female worker watching me. i've only said hi to her once and avoided her most of the time but she keeps giving those faces whenever i see her. kinda like how a caregiver would try to encourage someone retarded. I'm not sure how to take this.

anyway, thanks for reading.

[b0ld]

[decypher]

She's just encouraging you to socialize and to relax. If you segregate yourself like that it will only make it worse. The best thing to do is just jump into the small talk. People at work always talk about the same things anyways.

[azazel]

Originally Posted by b0ld

[azazel]

Originally Posted by decypher

She's just encouraging you to socialize and to relax. If you segregate yourself like that it will only make it worse. The best thing to do is just jump into the small talk. People at work always talk about the same things anyways.

I don't want to force anything.

main thing im worried about is how i'm perceived by the others. like if they think im being a jackass or not.

[NinjaBoy]

I spent the first month being the nervous intern when I started my job.

It takes a while but you'll eventually find someone you get along with, which will lead to more and more people you'll get to know.

[esoter1c]

Just stir your coffee with your cock and you'll be CEO in no time.;)

[Revolver]

^dood i dig that skull in the avy..

its the hat brim i think.

[-evil-duerr-]

the hardest part is making the leap from habitual avoidance to a person who can take the bull by the horns so to speak.

I spent 85% of my teenage years as the shy kid because of the exact same stuff you're talking about. Once you realize people aren't out to get you and WANT you to be social regardless of your quirks, you'll have a much easier time.
It was actually in the workplace that I learned how to work on this problem. Make small talk even if you think it's stupid, it makes everything flow smoother than awkward silence.

There will always be people who you won't mesh with, but don't let that get you down. Don't take the fall because others are quick to judge, those people aren't worth the time- there's 6 billion other people that are worth a shot.

[decypher]

Originally Posted by azazel

I don't want to force anything.

main thing im worried about is how i'm perceived by the others. like if they think im being a jackass or not.

They're going to think you're a jackass if you hide in the corner all the time. You aren't forcing anything by jumping in and relating to them. You just need to throw yourself into those situations and then after awhile you'll make friends.