.

[[edit_out]]

The hunk of meat in my head won't stop it's incessant blathering of synapse to synapse, nerve to nerve, it just won't give up, following each strand of thought to it's logical or emotional conclusion until an association is made that starts another one, or several at once, all neurons firing at full speed, trying desperately to enhance consciousness beyond that of the world that intoxicates me and gives me life, until a solution is found, a single line repeated until it loses it's syntactic and associative meaning;

'This is all I have, this is all I have...'

Keep repeating that thought until it becomes a mantra, and my reality, as I blink out and slip into dreamtime. The manic frenzy of electrons is not so apparent here, and I can languish in the hazy recollection of an island not so long ago, as it should have been. Temporality and physics cast aside for an eternal moment, I am free.

Wakefullness, and the binds of memory restrict infinite freedom, reducing it to a few seconds of blissful remembrance of something that never was. Struggling to keep the imperfectly recalled images in my mind, a struggle lost too often, too many precious unreal instants forgotten in the harsh light of morning or braying of the alarm. The ones remembered seem more real than anything touched or tasted, they linger, a tantalizing reminder of things lost or once forgotten, that can never be retrieved.

Waiting eagerly again for sleep, I let the day roll over me and march on into the night. There's nothing I can do to stop it.

[yoko*]

I really really like this one max :(

[[edit_out]]

why thank you. i just wanted to go to sleep, but my head wouldn't let me. like it's doing right now.