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Aug 22, 03
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A Junglist Rhyme
Bare in mind I typed this in a hurryso please excuse the spelling mistakes and other such typos.
Here is the scenerio as the beats begin to go listen to my rhyming flow with the bass laid down lo you start to lose control the music's in your soul jungle, drum and bass let the good times roll Please listen close to this microphone check Ozzius on the mic with the rhyme style'll wreck anyone anyhow anywhere how bout now keep turning up the volume till the speakers go BLOAH! while fluidly I think fluidly I rhyme fluidly my brain and mouth try to combine looking for the source what what do they find a devestating force in the absese of my mind Hold up put this back into rewind if the dj's spinnin dope I will reply in kind by complimenting the flow and spittin on the beat working on vocabulary and keepin all this unique so 5, 5, 4, 4, 3, 2 the 1 I'll keep buring up my rivals till the kingdom comes with the people of the sun manifesting destiny... there aint no emcee in the world that is even besting me you bring your tech 9's I'll bring my tech 12's a cordless shure mic and a set of bass shelves with the flick of my tongue quicker than a tree elf to manipulate your body to destroy yourself quit confusing me for something I am not I'll eradicate your body simply using agro thought what you brought must be stopped spit bullets at you that pop anaphylactic shock that makes your body just drop In truth you'll need practice to hone your battle tactics if you hope to attack this man reborn in Arrakis the fact is you'll need many more factions that can overwhelm my malice while I devestate the masses I'm from a different place reborn from ancient times where spiritual thought perpetuates through rhyme a voice won't become strong if the decieblz climb only when ancestors honored giving respect to bloodlines For prophetic warnings are inscribed in hieroglyphs hidden within passages of ancient people's myths to be missed by the common and found by the few who piece the puzzle together amongst all the scattered clues Thus rising anew comes the phoenix from the ashes the light of truth present for the huddling mass social classes abolished even magi astonished spraying forth my venom till my voice is acknowledged And once that is accomplished I will never be forgotten my words dig deep like the soul of ackenaten my foes lay rotten and destroyed on the battle field with their flesh peeled back to intensify what they feel Thus sealing the Junglist covenant where the strength of one can overthrow the world's government putting everyone in power in a bad predicament each one of us is an army if you stay quick, slick and sic. tell me what you guys think of this sheeeit. it will be on my new demo with DJ Vengeance. ONE. :keebler: Ozzius Atreides :keebler: 
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Aug 22, 03
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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 murda 1 lyric at yo door...
the counting down sentance reminded me of this mix freaky flow did with rhymes from red&meth. It starts off as a carbon copy of every other mc out there be it a junglist mc or a hip hop mc... then you try and go for depth which is alright i suppose? In my humble opinion have it be one or the other.Its nice that it rhymed the whole way through and you didnt really fall off. :)
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Aug 23, 03
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wow...
Ok... hmm I think you jumped to some pretty curious conclusions when you posted a critique of my verses. 1st and foremost, I don't think you listen to most emcees nearly close enough to accurately surmise that I sound like every emcee you have ever heard. Carbon Copy??? I think not. Perhaps if every Junglist MC had a hip hop style yes... but truth be known more often than not each emcee has the rolling ragga style of the uk. To say I am a carbon copy of either Junglist or a hip hop emcee I find it to be humorous in the fact that my style is just as different to the hip hop MC in lyrical content as my flow is to a rrrrrrrollin jungle sound.
As for going into more depth towards the end... yes I do "try" though I assume you think I didn't come accross as well as I had hoped. I used the flow I did because people these days have an affinity for learning only when entertained... without that element, people, particularly young people, don't tend to listen as well as one would hope... kinda what you did... but I don't think it was due to the fact that you weren't entertained but because you couldn't grasp the concepts being brought across. For you to recommend that I am doing something wrong and that you are not in any real knowledge that I am attempting to pull the listener in and then enlighten them is just a result of your ego-centric ignorance. Humble Opinion??? Please. You make a mockery of "constructive criticism" if that was humble. Perhaps you should learn manners before having the gaul to assume you are an authority on any Junglist emcee's lyrical content. As for having it rhyme with each other.... yes it does rhyme. that is what an emcee does... And I didn't fall off at all. I wrote that entire rhyme to flow and compliment any DnB, Jungle track by having it syncopated with 4X4 time. But you wouldn't know what that means because you don't appear to know what you are talking about at all in any point of your post. My intent in posting the rhyme is just to showcase some of what I have been working on of late, and you merely saw it as a chance to display your seemingly unintelligent opinion on something I think you don't know too much about. I was hoping for people that KNEW what they were talking about to leave what their thoughts were about my verses. You are not one of them... though I should have been prepared for such mindless concieted arrogance when posting on a public board. I will remember what you said. And make sure that what you have told me will sound ridiculous when I play on stage. Because not only do I think you were off base with the "thoughts" you dropped down, but I think you just busted them out to see more words written by you on the screen. Oh by the way... I read your little poem. Shouldn't you be submitting that to the Penthouse Forum before you are posting it on here?? Considering the poem is just another example of your inability to drop anything of definite substance I sincerely hope you intend to cease your foolish critiques of my verses. Thank You. :keebler: Ozzius Atreides Last edited by OzziusAtreides; Aug 23, 03 at 12:37 PM.
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Aug 23, 03
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^See i KNEW this would happen. You post ur shitup here and you ask for feedback I GAVE U FEEDBACK and u become offended from it.
I am a poet and ive written a few "rhymes" In my time . So dont get yer knickers in a knot just cuz I told ya what you didnt wanna hear. What were the concepts being brought across?? TO GO SHAKE SOME ASS (carbon copy of hip hop mcs) AND BE AGRO(carbon copy of jungle mcs)And then when u try the depth part you pretty much saying I AM XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!! buddy stop reading so much fantasy novels FA REAL. I'm from a different place reborn from ancient times where spiritual thought perpetuates through rhyme a voice won't become strong if the decieblz climb only when ancestors honored giving respect to bloodlines For prophetic warnings are inscribed in hieroglyphs hidden within passages of ancient people's myths to be missed by the common and found by the few who piece the puzzle together amongst all the scattered clues Thus rising anew comes the phoenix from the ashes the light of truth present for the huddling mass social classes abolished even magi astonished spraying forth my venom till my voice is acknowledged And once that is accomplished I will never be forgotten my words dig deep like the soul of ackenaten my foes lay rotten and destroyed on the battle field with their flesh peeled back to intensify what they feel Thus sealing the Junglist covenant where the strength of one can overthrow the world's government putting everyone in power in a bad predicament each one of us is an army if you stay quick, slick and sic. PS... CANIBAL CORPSE CALLED AND THEY WANT THIER SONG BACK!!!! :hehe: ciao
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Aug 24, 03
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^That's a weak return...nice try though
Girlie you got burned by the master....seriously. Ozz is like a 5 alarm blaze....you get blistered just standing near the inferno...nevermind jumping right in. The fact that you're calling it a carbon copy of a hip hop/junglist MC is whack. It can't be a carbon copy if it's 100% original. Your theory of him telling you to go 'shake some ass' and 'go agro' is way off..... and besides even if he did do that how is it a carbon copy? By no means is it identical to any other rhyme out there? His whole retort to you was about one thing.... you're not an MC, nor are you a tour de force on the subject, and you should shut your pie-hole to things you are not educated about. Write a column for a porn mag about how fat chicks need love too... at least its something you'll be good at.
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Aug 24, 03
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Quote:
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Aug 24, 03
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okay.
anyways i don't like it. there are definetly some good verses, but there are also no real direction. i think vancouver has been 'concious thought' mc'd out. he probably has skills but he needs a direction, he can walk the walk, but his talk is the same as many other people's. then again ive seen a good flow save a mediochre verse, and vice versa.
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Aug 24, 03
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Quote:
ciao
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Aug 24, 03
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i dont think its possible to accurately judge an mc or his/her rhymes by reading them. just as its not possible to judge a dj's mixing creativity and skills by reading the track list.
ozzius, i saw you at summer breaks and thought you and vengence laid it down, but i dont think its useful for you to ask for feedback by posting a written verse. good luck.
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Aug 24, 03
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Nice~
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Sep 10, 03
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yeah, the words are ok ....but so the fuck what?
put jon up on a PROPER pa with some tight rollers and then be the judge. Myself....well ive heard the guy progress and grow over the past three years oh so and theres no denying his drive and ambiton! and the demo he did was pretty good....nothing but improvement each time i hear the cat. big up ozz.
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Sep 10, 03
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[quote]Originally posted by oliver
[b]i dont think its possible to accurately judge an mc or his/her rhymes by reading them. just as its not possible to judge a dj's mixing creativity and skills by reading the track list. True enough, but that's a silly comparison. You can't necessarily feel exactly what they're saying cuz yore not hearing it, but you still can get an idea, well at least I can, of their writing style, rhyme structure, a bit of the flow and the concept. But hearing them would expose the flows, cadence and delivery. Your lyrics aren't bad, but fairely cliched (sp?) Godessa, what was that that you posted, those lyrics were pretty dope, but the ending was te same as buddies, and you said cannibl corpse called and they want their song back, was that shit biten then?
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Sep 10, 03
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buddy o copy and pasted his lkyrics and canibal corpse is a fucking death metal band in those stanzas he was sounding like canibal corpse meets gwar or something for chirst sakes eh!
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Sep 10, 03
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im entitled to my own opinion sorry if it differs from urs?
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Sep 11, 03
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Here is an explanation to my so called "fantasy" verses...
I'm from a different place reborn from ancient times where spiritual thought perpetuates through rhyme a voice won't become strong if the decieblz climb only when ancestors honored giving respect to bloodlines --this is talking about an emcee talking about something more than the manufactured Bling bling bullshit that rappers record and mass produce... I am talkin about using spiritual and ancestoral beliefs to allow for an emcee to be strenthened by them and rise above the Nelly's and Cash Money retards of the world. For prophetic warnings are inscribed in hieroglyphs hidden within passages of ancient people's myths to be missed by the common and found by the few who piece the puzzle together amongst all the scattered clues --Within the myths and legends of ancient peoples such as the egyptians, sumerians, jews, mayan and celtics you find shreds of actual truth that pertain to something far more poignant than just a mere story for people to hear. Figuring out those shreds and piecing them together allow for a fabric of moral and spiritual truth that can affect an emcee's outlook on life and in turn affect the listener Thus rising anew comes the phoenix from the ashes the light of truth present for the huddling mass social classes abolished even magi astonished spraying forth my venom till my voice is acknowledged --the mythological phoenix was killed in flame only to be reborn from the ashes... a metaphor for coming from difficulty and triumphing over them. the light of truth is what is made aware to the people filled with ignorance. these people are the masses of the human race. this truth allows for equality to be given to all people ending social class and making it known to religious and secular leaders (the magi). And I will continue doing what I do till I am understood. And once that is accomplished I will never be forgotten my words dig deep like the soul of ackenaten my foes lay rotten and destroyed on the battle field with their flesh peeled back to intensify what they feel --By accomplishing my goals of understanding I hope to test the seeds of time like an Egyptian Pharoah name Ackenaten that stood as the first great leader in human histroy to make the offical religion of a nation to worship one god. He affected the way people lived and the artwork that was created giving one of the most powerful powers of the time a dramatic change. With the knowledge I hope to bring about, it is my intention to destroy the powers that circumvent a true equality in the world. Thus making the leaders realize what the "common" man goes through becuase of this oppression and taking all of their power away from them. Thus sealing the Junglist covenant where the strength of one can overthrow the world's government putting everyone in power in a bad predicament each one of us is an army if you stay quick, slick and sic. --this reiterates that the knowledge is a testiment to the strength of the human spirit, allowing for substantial change to be created if you only beliveve in the will of your heart, and the hearts of your fellow man. Fantasy??? You live in a fantasy goddess... one where writing about nothing but sex can be seen as quality literary work. If you wanna diss something take a look at damn near everything you have posted... Yes you get laid... A LOT. we knew that when we read you profile and found out you live in surrey. :finger: Hope this makes things alittle clearer to those that have trouble reading between the lines and find truth that is right in front of you. ONE. :keebler: Ozzius Atreides :keebler:
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Sep 11, 03
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Quote:
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Sep 11, 03
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Fantasy??? You live in a fantasy goddess... one where writing about nothing but sex can be seen as quality literary work. If you wanna diss something take a look at damn near everything you have posted... Yes you get laid... A LOT. we knew that when we read you profile and found out you live in surrey
hahahahaha you almost had me convinced till you spouted off juvenile banter at me. First of all have u even read every single one of mypoems? NO... NO u havent. Id be surprised if you even understood a fraction of my poetry for its laden with metaphors you would know sweet fuck all about unless you truely did know me well and last time i checked we werent bestest friends for life mmmmmmmmk. And your right I do get laid alot I love the cock I love the vagina, but the thing is I was getting railed on the regular long before I moved to Surrey. I was born and raised in ABBOTSFORD so your surrey girl theory is infact null and void. There was no need to explain your "rhyme" For i understood it but i still thought it was crap and i still do think its crap. Like i said before when u post shit dont expect everyone to grovel at your feet, expect a few critics. That is all.
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