I Am...

[Lady Dame]

i know this is a long read, but it actually pretty funny. Sent to me from an e-mail. No racism from me intentional. Just for a giggle, not to hurt feelings.
(hows that for nice myles *sticks out tongue*)




>I AM CANADIAN
>(clears Thoat)
> (the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)
>
>Hey...
>I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
>and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
>and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
>although I'm certain they're really, really nice.
>
>I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
>I speak English & French, NOT American.
>and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
>
>I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
>I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
>DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
>AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.
>
>A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
>AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
>CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
>THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
>MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
>
>I AM ITALIAN
>
>Ciao...
>I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
>I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
>And I don't drive a Camaro.
>And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
>Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.
>
>I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
>I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
>And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
>
>I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
>Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
>Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
>And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
>Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
>The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
>My name is Guiseppe !!!
>AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>I AM PAKISTANI
>
>Allo,
>I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
>I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
>And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
>Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.
>
>I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
>I believe in discounts, not full price.
>And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
>I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
>siege.
>
>A turban IS an article of clothing.
>Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
>Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
>and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!
>
>Pakistan IS a third world country,
>The first nation of Cricket
>And the BEST part of the middle east!!
>My name is Raheem!
>AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!
>
>
>I AM CHINESE!
>
>Wai...
>I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
>I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a
>souped-up
>Civic.
>And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
>Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.
>
>I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
>I believe in giving cash, not gifts
>And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
>I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,
>
>Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
>Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
>And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa
>
>China is the LARGEST country in Asia
>The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
>And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
>My name is FUNG!!!
>AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>and finally........
>
>
>
>I AM AMERICAN
>
>Wassup...
>I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
>And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
>well.
>I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
>although I'm pretty sure they were American.
>
>I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
>Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
>Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
>And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
>
>I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
>somewhere.
>Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
>Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
>I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
>
>The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
>The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
>And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
>MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
>AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!
>
>
>
>
>IF UR CANADIAN PASS THIS ON!!!

[*STARFISH*]

omg first of all that pic is awesome
and i love the american rant.
too good :y:

[GUYVERUNIT]

YOU DISS RESPECTING ITALIANS!!!! :finger: :finger: :finger: :finger:






well it is pretty funny ( even thou that was the millionth time i've read it) :tounge1:

[Lady Dame]

yeah, but did all the ones you've read before have teh kitten???!?!?!? hu?hu? punk asss!!! thats what i thought.
:060:

[~god~]

ITALY ALL THE WAY!!!

[craz_e_blossom]

Yah Italians rock because I am Italian:D