For people who hate forwards!

[Mc*Phee]

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering
from
rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final
exams,
extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and
executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters
sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you
send
them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl
in
Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be
able
to
raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to the traveling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going
to
give you and everyone you send "his" email to
$1000?
How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I
scroll
down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every
Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of
fucking
bullshit. So basically, this message is a big
FUCK
YOU
to all the people out there who have nothing
better
to
do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
my
apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing the chain which was started by Jesus
in
5
A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to
the
year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
stupidity. Fuck them. If you're going to forward
something, at least send me something mildly
fucking
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of
your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse
for
a
human being will somehow receive a Nickel from
some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I
don't
fucking care. Show a little intelligence and
think
about what you're actually contributing to by
sending
out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.

THE THREE BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1
Scroll Down



Make a wish!!!

Keep Scrolling



No, really, go on and make one!!!


Wish something else!!!

Not that, you pervert!!

STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun?
Hope you made a great wish :)
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's
what I'll do. First of all,
if you don't send this to 5096 people
in the next 5 seconds, you
will be raped by a mad goat and
thrown off a high building into
a pile of leprechaun manure.
Thanks!!!!
Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this
letter. You see, there is
a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
arms, no legs, no parents, and no
goats. This little boy's life
could be saved, because for every
time you pass this on, a
dollar will be donated to the Little
Starving Legless Armless
Goatless Boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and
remember, we have absolutely no way
of counting the emails sent
and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. So go on, reach
out. Send this to 5 people in the
next 47 seconds. Oh, and a
reminder - if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6
people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!!

Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been
in existence since 1897.
This is absolutely incredible because
there was no email then
and probably not as many sad pricks
with nothing better to do.
So this is how it works...Pass this
on to 15,067 people in the
next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you like:

"Bizarre Horror Story #1*
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from
school on Saturday. She
had recently received this letter and
ignored it. She tripped in
a crack in the sidewalk, fell in the
sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poop, and
flew out over a waterfall. Not
only did she smell nasty, she died.
This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2*

Dexter Bip, a 13-year-old boy, got a
chain letter in his mail
and ignored it. Later that day, he
was hit by a car and so was
his boyfriend (hey, some people swing
that way). They both died
and went to hell and were cursed to
eat adorable doggies every
day for eternity. This Could Happen
To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like
Pinsley and Bip. Just send
this letter to all of your friends,
and everything will be okay.

POINT BEING?
If you get a chain letter that
threatens to leave you shagless
or luckless for life, delete it. If
it's funny, send it. Don't
piss people off by making them feel
guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth, who's been
tied to a dead elephant for
27 years, whose only savior is the 5
cents per letter he'll
receive if you
forward this mail, otherwise you'll
end up like Pinsley and
Bip. Right?

Now forward this to everyone that you
know otherwise you'll find
all your underwear missing tomorrow
morning.

=====
Marc W. Phillips, Jr.

[Bevvy Swift]

AY FUCKIN MEN!! (if you want to act like this story didn't touch you in some way or another, just continue with your life, and poor children like the starving one in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen will continue to starve every day)

[jomama]

wow. that was alotta readin, i almost quit, but the armless legless foundation thing did it for me, made me laugh :)

[Tux]

lol funny shit.

[Pegasus]

holy SHIT that was SO fucking funny, holy shit.

heh i was gonna ask you if you wrote that, cuz i was gonna stand up from my seat and applaud. with a post full of these :keebler:.
but still that was fucking GOLD

ive never gotten that in an email, but i'm going to copy and paste that and send it to everyone on my list.

i love it. :hair:

[frontline]

a good read. i was captivated.

I hate them. I delete them all I don't even read them.

[GiggleyGal]

^^Me 2. They're sooo annoying!!

[Mc*Phee]

Originally posted by PegasuS
holy SHIT that was SO fucking funny, holy shit.

heh i was gonna ask you if you wrote that, cuz i was gonna stand up from my seat and applaud. with a post full of these :keebler:.
but still that was fucking GOLD

ive never gotten that in an email, but i'm going to copy and paste that and send it to everyone on my list.

i love it. :hair:

I wish I wrote it lol! I actualy got it as a forward a coupple years ago, and I just found it yeaterday in some folder in my hotmail, I now remember why I saved it! Its the funniest forward I ever got!