the ledge

[stranger]

The fabric of my being, slowly torn.
Struggling to hold on,
to who i was.
Temptation and darkness,
have grabbed ahold of me.
Choking and holding me down.
I can't breath.
drowning in a pool of mud, the person i once was.
Look into my eyes, windows into the past.
Feel the burning of my heart.
I struggle to hold on to my sanity in a time,
when the pressure is stiffeling.
The abuse is tightening.
caged and miles away from the light.
I desperately hold on,
and try to not let go of the ledge.
The ledge i have barely held onto for so long.

[junglequeen]

its good
i would remove some of the "the"s
but thats just me
and id change the person i once was, to the person i was once
less wordy, more consise

wow im oppinionated
its good though
like a sad song