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| Coffee Lounge Talk amongst other community members. |
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Apr 23, 04
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Funny airline jokes.
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.) *P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. *S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. *P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. *S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. *P: Something loose in cockpit. *S: something tightened in cockpit. *P: Dead bugs on windshield. *S: Live bugs on back-order. *P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent. *S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. *P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. *S: Evidence removed. *P: DME volume unbelievably loud. *S: DME volume set to more believable level. *P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. *S: That's what they're there for. *P: IFF inoperative. *S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. *P: suspected crack in windshield. *S: suspect you're right. *P: Number 3 engine missing. *S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. *P: Aircraft handles funny. *S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. *P: Target radar hums. *S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. *P: Mouse in cockpit. *S: Cat installed. *P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. *S: Took hammer away from midget. 
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Apr 23, 04
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hahah nice
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Apr 23, 04
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I got a joke, but its not about airplanes
~Two brown guys walked into a bar one named HIN other named DO bartender says HINDU !!!
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Apr 24, 04
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Hey! You! Go get me 5 Litres of Propwash, make sure it's the Blue Kind... and about 100' of Flight Line and make it Snappy! :D
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Apr 25, 04
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this is the best one right here...lol
*P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. *S: Evidence removed.
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Apr 25, 04
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Air Rules:
Every Takeoff is optional. Every Landing is mandatory. If you push the stick forward the Houses get Bigger... Pull the stick back and the Houses get smaller... Keep it pulled back and they get bigger again. The ONLY time you have too much Fuel is when you're on fire. A 'good' landing is one you can walk away from. A 'great' landing is one that you can use the Aircraft again. There are three simple Rules to making a perfect landing... unfortunately no one knows what they are. If all you can seee out of the Window is Ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the Passenger Compartment, things are not all as they should be. In the ongoing Battle between objects made of Aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the Ground going zero miles per hour, the Ground has yet to lose. Remember, Gravity is not just a good idea... its the Law.
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