Actual labels on consumer products

Sariel · #1 (**permalink**) May 13, 04

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Oh my Gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

omega_image · #2 (**permalink**) May 13, 04

"On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)"

lol maybe myles shoulda read this........hahaha

**sNyx** · #3 (**permalink**) May 13, 04

weak my spiderman costume at spooky said I could websling "if you really believe you can".. heh

omega_image

omega_image · #4 (**permalink**) May 13, 04

lol dont worry myles, ull always be superman in my books

Segued · #5 (**permalink**) May 13, 04

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
oops

crookedking · #6 (**permalink**) May 14, 04

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

i'm curious too :(

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Oh my Gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

"i can't turn it off sven!" Light bulb fills ogdens head," i know! i'll use my penis!"

Gusto · #7 (**permalink**) May 14, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sariel

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?

This means you can call them and enter the contest as well. They can't force you to purchase the product or they'd be running a lottery and be subject to different regulations.

Sniper · #8 (**permalink**) May 20, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by gusto

This means you can call them and enter the contest as well. They can't force you to purchase the product or they'd be running a lottery and be subject to different regulations.

Dude, don't take things so seriously..........what he wrote under it was for fun........................And Sareil nice post..........The Japenesse Food Processer has me stumped as well

ulala · #9 (**permalink**) May 20, 04

hahaha those are too funny.

Oscar Da Grouc · #10 (**permalink**) May 20, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by crookedking

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Oh my Gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

"i can't turn it off sven!" Light bulb fills ogdens head," i know! i'll use my penis!"

hah, that was wikkid...

Sue Bitch · #11 (**permalink**) May 20, 04

classic shit

but yet some people can be just that stupid

DJDeeb · #12 (**permalink**) May 20, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by gusto

This means you can call them and enter the contest as well. They can't force you to purchase the product or they'd be running a lottery and be subject to different regulations.

But to find out how to do this the details are inside the bag?!?!
So it says No Purchase Nessesary.....

Anyways funny stuff never the less

I like the last one...WTF!

Gusto · #13 (**permalink**) May 21, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJDeeb

But to find out how to do this the details are inside the bag?!?!
So it says No Purchase Nessesary.....

Anyways funny stuff never the less

I like the last one...WTF!

It means you call the number on the bag and ask to be entered into the contest.

And Sariel, fuck off with the bad karma... haha... I'm just making conversation. Hahaha.