So I just found out I'm Jewish

[deafsquirrel]

Yup. It's true, I'm a Jew. Finally, another cultural group I can make tons of fun of, and not get in shit for.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together when they see a little boy playing by himself. The priest says, "Lets screw him." The rabbi says, "Out of what?"

An arab and a jew are shooting at each other across the border. Suddenly the arab stops. The jew:
- Hey, Mahommed, what's the matter?
- I'm out of ammunition!
- Come over here, I'll sell you some!

A man in a synagogue:
- Rabbi, what should I do? My son has converted to Christianity.
- I don't know, answers the rabbi. Come back tomorrow, and I'll ask advice from God.
The man comes back the next day.
- I can't help you, says the rabbi. God told me he has the same problem.

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."


Ha ha, more to follow.

This is the stoner jew, checking out.

[crackdragon]

you want to do my taxes?

[crookedking]

man, i wish i was jewish. i've got soooo many jewish jokes!

[ebbomega]

I was a Kabalist for a while, so I have no qualms about making fun of Jews.

I've even had official blessing from both American and Canadian Nation Jews of Rocky Horror. It's great.

[{dC!}]

Im Jewish ... I truely am ... lol! :)

[cityqueen]

Originally Posted by deafsquirrel

This is the stoner jew, checking out.

HAHAHAHA - Stoner Jew.......damm I'm good!

[{dC!}]

^ Lmao ^ :)

[mystique]

funny funny

[deafsquirrel]

Originally Posted by crackdragon

you want to do my taxes?

What am I a calculator? What with this nose? Ohy, veigh.

Ha ha ha, how did I know you would respond to that one Matty. I'll do your taxes. Just remember that in jewish math the answer to 5 x 5 depends on whether you are buying or selling.

Nice.

[Mo...]

....... DONT EAT THE PORK!!! no PIGGY 4 U!! :)

[deafsquirrel]

Originally Posted by ~MoNiQuE~

....... DONT EAT THE PORK!!! no PIGGY 4 U!! :)

Meh, I'm only a 1/4 jewish. That means I get to poke fun at all the people that are more jewish than I am, and all you anti-semetic haters out there, but 3/4 of me still gets to eat pork. I figure that the jewish parts of me know better than to digest any pork that I consume, so only the non jewish parts are actually consuming the pork. Mmmmm.... bacon.

What, don't believe me??? It's the truth. Why wouldn't you believe me when I say this if you'd believe that a carpenter was born sans father and was the "son of god". Come on. I'm a carpenter. And I'll tell you, I'm no son of god. Speaking of god, hey ~god~.

Ciao.

[~god~]

DIDJOO eat today?

[~god~]

Originally Posted by deafsquirrel

And I'll tell you, I'm no son of god. Speaking of god, hey ~god~.

Ciao.

did your mom tell you to deny? did she? FINALLY!!!

i love you!! :)

[Mr Ektion]

heh, this topic cracks me up. sooo funny.

[sNyx]

ha, wait till you find out your adopted too.