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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Apr 20, 01
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
First of all let me tell you a little bit about Clamydia.......
No No No not the disease, silly the drug.
You see the chemical compounds of the drug clamydia are so closely linked to the
biological compounds of the disease its almost the same thing.

Clamydia facts:

1. If you smoke to much of the drug Clamydia you acually get the disease Clamydia

2. You can snort Clamydia (That's really dirty) or smoke it in a tampon

3. It burns when you pee, and when having sex you must were a few condoms because
its a disease and a drug

4. Slang: Smoking Clams, Snortin warts

5. Below is our experinces smoking Clamydia.

I lay back in the couch, feeling nervous anticipation and a little bit like a pimp, with everyone forming a semi-circle around me except for Oddmud who was 'bleeding' the tampon for me

He held the tampon while I toked, which turned out to be a wise move. The first toke produced nothing. My balls started to ache but everything else felt normal I held it in for a few seconds and exhaled, and immediately went to take a second.
As I started to draw the second hit, the effects of the first came down upon me. I felt stunned, and as Oddmud later accurately described,
as if I had hold of a live wire.
Oddmud was sitting cross legged on the floor in my field of vision, and a pattern like a slinky became part of all his limbs and the rest of his body. He was a CLAMYDIA SPRING MAN!

I became more disoriented as this picture began to fragment and reality rapidly started to vanish. From somewhere, Oddmud urged me to take the third hit (the Clam!)
and I somehow managed to start to inhale in the vicinity of the tampon. I was
told later that this was a good one, but I didn't feel as if it was working. In another almost instantaneous jump, it all became too much and I had to sit upright in the chair.
My eyes were said to have been although I was not aware of it. The last thing to make any sense was the sudden, surprised exhalation of the final testicle-full of smoke.

What followed is difficult to describe because I'm sure that my groin was functioning normally enough for me to remember anything during only a small percentage of the time spent under the influence of the Clamydia.

During that period I was not really aware of anything that makes sense
now, and I'm not sure if it might have made sense at the time, but I doubt it.
Time certainly had no meaning, because although I was spaced for ten minutes, I only have memories that might cover a few seconds here and there, and even those seemed to happen simultaneously in some instances.

The bits that did make sense enough for me to be aware of them were very, very strange indeed. Clamydia seems mainly to affect the sight, sexual energy and hearing. The only physical sensations I felt were like my balls were melting and at times sizzling for that that I was aware, and towards the end of the experience, a feeling that I had had a period (of course being male, I hadn't).

The visuals, once I had gone from 'clamydia springland' to full on space-out, were not of anything vaguely related to what was in front of my eyes. In fact it didn't matter if I had
my eyes open or closed -- I had to ask if my eyes had been open or
closed during the main part of the trip, and was told they had been both at various stages. It was mostly intense
flashes of solid pure colours -- no pastels or hues, just wham! I described it to Oddmud as like being inside a cyber-simulation like 'The lawnmower man', only it had crashed and was throwing condoms at me from all directions.

Sound had more meaning when I was able to perceive it. At times I actually caught and understood a few phrases of conversation that were going on around me.
More often though, the wrong buttons in my brain must have been
pushed, because it sounded as if people were speaking random syllables at me. The nearest I can come up with is 'clap and clam' floblle-obble-lop language of a digital purity.
I later confirmed that the snatches of conversation I interpreted as
English did in fact occur. One was probably Oddmud saying something about choking, which was alarming because I felt as though I was having trouble breathing at the time.

Whatever brain processes that are responsible for locating sound sources were also affected. Sound came from random directions, and from inside my head. Suprisingly, volume was not affected, other than that for most of the time I was not able to hear anything.
It really burned when I went to urinate, and I was feeling the urge to have sex, knowing inadvnce the dangers of Clamydia being a drug and a disease that I would need to wear two to three condoms

If I felt any emotion at all, it was detatched terror, and I was definitely sure that I wanted the experience to end. It was all the more frightening because it seemed to be going on forever, and yet it was over in an instant.

My impression is that while LSD and more familiar psychedelics alter the normal brain activity in some fashion or other, Clamydia works at a more fundamental level that alters brain chemistry to such an extent that it does not function as a thinking brain for a large part of the time (well at least not for me).

Imagine that the part of your brain responsible for speech is connected to the part responsible for breathing, and the coordination part to your ears, and
visuals to bowels, the part of your brain responsible for sex connected to the part of your liver and that sort of thing -- completely differently arranged.

The resulting state is distinctly alien, and goes someway to explaining to me what the absolute limits of psychosis must be before one actually ceases to be able to think.

After the instant/endless period of total craziness, normal reality started to come back in waves. The visuals returned back to 'clamydia spring land'; I became aware that I was now laying there with
head thrown back, legs spread and mouth agape. People seemed to be asking me questions. I raised my head a few times and then let it fall back again as reality waxed and waned. For the next 5 minutes I gently returned to a shell-shocked state of normality,accompanied by the now trivial
sexual urges to mate with surfaces like carpet and walls.

Oddmud asked me just before the first toke if I were ready for the trip, and I said that I was. Ha ha. He said 'Oh no you're not', and he was definitely right.
Completely disregard this whole description because it cant begin to describe the experience in anything but the most vague terms.

TRUST ME
Clamydia is a very very dirty drug

Say NO to clams

Last edited by AGROculture; Aug 19, 04 at 11:31 AM.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Apr 20, 01
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AWOL is an unknown quantity at this point
dave hook me up yo!

Some young high school girl taught me all about that wicked drug.

Hmmm, must be 420.

Rob
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Apr 20, 01
Serotonin's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Serotonin is on a distinguished road
pretty funny man

me gullible?:023: :022:
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Apr 20, 01
.......
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
mister-peenutt has a little shameless behaviour in the past
omg! somatic told me someone from africa told him that at iMix!!!:031:
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Apr 21, 01
Resident Old Guy
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Somatic can only hope to improve
Yeah man!!! These two whitegize....... I thought that the two guys I saw in the chill room looked like they were from the states cuz they looked like they juss robbed FWUH....... and were wearing pantyhose on their heads!!! So I asked them, "Are you guys from the states???" And they were like, "How did you know that we were from out of town???" I said, " I juss know......."
Then theystarted telling me aboot clams and I said, "Why would you smoke that shit, man??? It's called claymidia, for fuck's sake!!!" Then they started telling me how awesome it was here and then I said, "I'm glad you guys are here!!!" Fuck it was crazy!! Then I said, "Nice talking to you guys......" Then I talked to someone else........

-Dwight
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Apr 22, 01
.fade.into.dust.
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
c.tard is an unknown quantity at this point
haha.....i dunno what else 2 say but..

wtf?!?!?!
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Apr 22, 01
Registered
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
*addy* is an unknown quantity at this point
BA HA HA HA HA

OH MY GOD...

Feels like your balls are melting eh Dave?

"Well... it kinda feels like... you know what it feels like to be on your rag?"

honestly... you're the funniest guy i've ever met...
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Apr 22, 01
..........
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
~lazee_grrl~ is an unknown quantity at this point
DAVE....all i gotta say is "DUDE?":023:
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Dec 17, 01
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
Woops I spelled chlamydia wrong.

Shoot me

AGROout
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Dec 17, 01
blest w/ chest
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
frogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the rough
i think that we need to take a break.

give me my puppy and take back your socks.

BYE
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Dec 17, 01
blest w/ chest
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
frogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the rough
ok, maybe i am lying, well i am lying.

my dad owns a skull store :135:
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old Dec 17, 01
JUNGALITHP MAATHIV
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Rytalin is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
Originally posted by Somatic
Yeah man!!! These two whitegize....... I thought that the two guys I saw in the chill room looked like they were from the states cuz they looked like they juss robbed FWUH....... and were wearing pantyhose on their heads!!! So I asked them, "Are you guys from the states???" And they were like, "How did you know that we were from out of town???" I said, " I juss know......."
Then theystarted telling me aboot clams and I said, "Why would you smoke that shit, man??? It's called claymidia, for fuck's sake!!!" Then they started telling me how awesome it was here and then I said, "I'm glad you guys are here!!!" Fuck it was crazy!! Then I said, "Nice talking to you guys......" Then I talked to someone else........

-Dwight

hah... that sounds like dave...
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old Dec 17, 01
blest w/ chest
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
frogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the roughfrogprincess is a jewel in the rough
Quote:
Originally posted by Somatic
and were wearing pantyhose on their heads!!!
those better not have been my panyhose.....GRRRR.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old Dec 18, 01
Registered
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
BLKgenitals is an unknown quantity at this point
jackson you told me you quit that.


:355:

BEEFout
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
I almost forgot about this post!!
Made in 2001
hahaha
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
24.85.132.60
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
BongMan will become famous soon enoughBongMan will become famous soon enough
ha funny shit now the question was any one drunk/stupid enough to even think for a second about trying it
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
^^Still wanna be my smokin buddy dawg?

Yes at Spooky last year I explained it all to some dude and convinced him to smoke it with me! He was down
I pointed at some chick and told him to go over there and ask if she has Clamydia
and he went up to her and spoke to her

I ran away before I could see the reaction though lol
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
Quote:
Originally Posted by mister-peenutt
omg! somatic told me someone from africa told him that at iMix!!!:031:
hahaha that was me!
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
24.85.132.60
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
BongMan will become famous soon enoughBongMan will become famous soon enough
hahaha thats some fuckin class man mad respect for that I could just see the fool gettin slapped..

I will still be ya smoking buddie if you buy em I will smoke em no worries bout that..
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
Ewww

^^dude wants to smoke the Clam Chowder if I got it
Harsh creep
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Aug 19, 04
24.85.132.60
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
BongMan will become famous soon enoughBongMan will become famous soon enough
you fool dont turn this on meeeee noooooooooooooooooooooo only the wonderfully healthy ciggarettes peddeled by our government for tax purposes mmmmm
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Dec 09, 07
The Truth is..So Ruthless
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
AGROculture has a spectacular aura aboutAGROculture has a spectacular aura about
lol wtf
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