Abusive Relationships

[ppcock]

i'll be her bf!

[acidic_liquid]

You should be her bf Marty ;)

[ppcock]

you can tell her i spin trance techno and hardhouse.

is she hot?

[*K*i*t*t*e*n*]

Originally Posted by acidic_liquid

Yes but why? Why do people put up with it? It's happened to me at a much lesser degree and I was the one to let the guy go. It hurt, and it sucked, but I knew it had to be done.

How do I make my friend see this?

sometimes people just got to realise it on thier own, i remember my dad would hit my mom when i was younger and nothing anyone said would make my mom see he was bad news she had to see it for herself which she finally did one day ( thank god) its mostly a psuchological thing, even if they hurt you leaving them would hurt them so you cant do that... its confusing but its really shitty, hopefully she does see the light soon. No one deserves that

[Sniper]

I have never experienced or witnessed this but I thought I might try and help anyways......personnally I think the best things to do are to stand by her as a friend and keep up that role as long as she needs you to.....it sounds like she is in real need of some one who will just sit and listen and console her when ever she needs it......also going to the B/F and talking to him might be a good idea......and if the abuse has been physical take some friends along for the "chat" and give him a taste of his own medicine.........But I think if you decide to "go off on her" it may do more harm then good and send her closer to the b/f and further away from the ppl who truly care for her well being......but this is just my 2 cents worth.....like I said I have never experienced or witnessed this for myself........I hope every thing turns out for the best and your friend is ok

[LeeBrat]

Originally Posted by Sniper

I have never experienced or witnessed this but I thought I might try and help anyways......personnally I think the best things to do are to stand by her as a friend and keep up that role as long as she needs you to.....it sounds like she is in real need of some one who will just sit and listen and console her when ever she needs it......also going to the B/F and talking to him might be a good idea......and if the abuse has been physical take some friends along for the "chat" and give him a taste of his own medicine.........But I think if you decide to "go off on her" it may do more harm then good and send her closer to the b/f and further away from the ppl who truly care for her well being......but this is just my 2 cents worth.....like I said I have never experienced or witnessed this for myself........I hope every thing turns out for the best and your friend is ok

spencer, i agree with you, exept i would honestly caution you on one thing. if her bf is anything like my ex, if you "chat" with him about it he will either go beat up on her later for having her friends intervene or manipulate her into not talking to them anymore.... :226: i could & hope im wrong but i know my ex did that

[Sniper]

^I'm very sorry to hear that Natalie.......I never knew just how bad your relationship was.........I glad things are working out for you now and hope the same can happen for acidic_liquid's friend

[ty_guy]

yes, bring some friends when you go to the "boyfriend" and you damn! better maker sure that he doesn't do it again or you'll be back with a bat. threaten the hell out of the guy but don't go overboard and say you'll kill him. keep an EXTREMLY close eye on her too to make sure he doesn't touch her wrongfully again. call your friend up and be more active in her life, go and stir up some good times you had and show her some fun again!=)

[Sniper]

^excellent idea

[acidic_liquid]

Oh we go out when we can that's for sure. It's nice to go out with her and not hear his name 3213424 times though. She's getting better though.

[ty_guy]

Originally Posted by acidic_liquid

Oh we go out when we can that's for sure. It's nice to go out with her and not hear his name 3213424 times though. She's getting better though.

awsome! keep it up:keebler:

[.:VAN3SSA:.]

Dont go and threaten him that will either make him hit her later or make her pissed off at you, defend him and push you out of her life. People need to learn how to handle there situations themselves not have there friends bail them out of them. she will never develop skills to take care of her own problems. I think if you care about her that much you will sit back be there for her and let her figure her own shit out, because what she needs is a friend not someone who will protect her whenever shes in trouble because when your not there to save her she will be fucked.

[LeeBrat]

^^nicely put, my thoughts exactly

[ty_guy]

Originally Posted by VanessaSweet

Dont go and threaten him that will either make him hit her later or make her pissed off at you, defend him and push you out of her life. People need to learn how to handle there situations themselves not have there friends bail them out of them. she will never develop skills to take care of her own problems. I think if you care about her that much you will sit back be there for her and let her figure her own shit out, because what she needs is a friend not someone who will protect her whenever shes in trouble because when your not there to save her she will be fucked.

i'm not meaning this to be directed at you. but if someone had a friend that was being abuse "you" would just sit back and let her learn a lesson? for some reason i have a very difficult time seeing anyone doing that. i'm all for someone standing up for themselves but in situations like that i don't think dealing with it by yourself is doing any good, someone needs to step in.

[LeeBrat]

^^kk, but tyler, u have not been in one of those relationships personnaly have you? these guys that are like this are serious mental fuck ups....you go and get all in their face--they probebly won't do shit all to you, because they are insecure and pussys when it comes to fighting guys(most times)--but later he will probbely go to the girl and beat the shit out of her, blaming her, etc...either that or he will manipulate her into pushing her friends away. i know it doesnt make alot of sence, but its just the way it works..its fucking lame...
if you think that getting in his face will make her change her mind changes are she will push you out of her life more, you really gotta be there for support, sure talk to her and stuff, make her feel good about herself once agian..but dont push her to much...otherwise she might shy away.
these ppl do have to figure it out on their own...it might hurt alot, but it will make them stronger in the end

[.:VAN3SSA:.]

Originally Posted by ty_guy

i'm not meaning this to be directed at you. but if someone had a friend that was being abuse "you" would just sit back and let her learn a lesson? for some reason i have a very difficult time seeing anyone doing that. i'm all for someone standing up for themselves but in situations like that i don't think dealing with it by yourself is doing any good, someone needs to step in.

well i understand what you are saying. it is natural that you would feel the impulse and help your friend but waltzing into her life and tellin her boyfriend behind her back that you will beat the shit out of him will not do any good really.Obviously if the guy is that messed up that he is going to beat ona chick hes not going to care if some dude says he will give hima black eye. And yes I have been in this situation, said something to the guy and he flipped out on me and went home and gave her the beating of a lifetime, she said hse would leave, but went crawling back to him, like most vulnerable girls who feel the abuser is all they have. eventually she realized that because her family and freinds were worried and she noticed that the relationship is bad she left. I just feel that nobody will change her mind to leave but her. Im not saying totally leave the girl stranded but dont fight her battles

[.:VAN3SSA:.]

Originally Posted by Twisted~AngelX

^^kk, but tyler, u have not been in one of those relationships personnaly have you? these guys that are like this are serious mental fuck ups....you go and get all in their face--they probebly won't do shit all to you, because they are insecure and pussys when it comes to fighting guys(most times)--but later he will probbely go to the girl and beat the shit out of her, blaming her, etc...either that or he will manipulate her into pushing her friends away. i know it doesnt make alot of sence, but its just the way it works..its fucking lame...
if you think that getting in his face will make her change her mind changes are she will push you out of her life more, you really gotta be there for support, sure talk to her and stuff, make her feel good about herself once agian..but dont push her to much...otherwise she might shy away.
these ppl do have to figure it out on their own...it might hurt alot, but it will make them stronger in the end

couldnt agree more with you

[ty_guy]

i am speaking from no experience, you are right. i'm viewing this on how i would react if i was the friend spectating. i can't stand anyone like that. i'd like to let all my friends know that i'm very willing to make sure you don't end up with anyone even remotely to anything like that. i feel strongly enough that i would make my point made clearly, but again no exp. arg! guys like that bring out my bad attributes. sorry if i have offended anyone, it wasn't my intention.

[LeeBrat]

^^ *hugz*

[.:VAN3SSA:.]

Originally Posted by ty_guy

i am speaking from no experience, you are right. i'm viewing this on how i would react if i was the friend spectating. i can't stand anyone like that. i'd like to let all my friends know that i'm very willing to make sure you don't end up with anyone even remotely to anything like that. i feel strongly enough that i would make my point made clearly, but again no exp. arg! guys like that bring out my bad attributes. sorry if i have offended anyone, it wasn't my intention.

No offence taken, this first time i heard of that happening I wanted to take it into my own hands as well but learnt that it only steers them away

[ty_guy]

Originally Posted by Twisted~AngelX

^^ *hugz*

~BEAR HUG!~ RAWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!! right back at you Nat=)

[LeeBrat]

yay...hugz make everything better