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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Apr 06, 05
DM Studio Productions
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
dJ_MeDiC is an unknown quantity at this point
New Darwin Results.....The Awards are given...

"Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least Evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners."

Darwin Award Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space, so he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 ! bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Apr 06, 05
Registered
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
diesskei is an unknown quantity at this point
Quote:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space, so he shot her.


Hahahahahahaha those 2 are the best. Thanks for the laughs!
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Apr 06, 05
Time is an illusion!!
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Sniper is an unknown quantity at this point
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! The Darwin Awards are always funny......and they have lived up to that this year as well
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
runnin thru the streets
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Mr.Wrong is an unknown quantity at this point
this stuff makes my day.

the guy throwing the cinder block at the plexiglass window and getting it in the head...is this list old or do people keep doing that, ive seen/heard about it more than a few times. i think max ex showed a clip of that happening
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
DM Studio Productions
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
dJ_MeDiC is an unknown quantity at this point
if you...

if you can find that clip, i would love to see it!! Hilarious!
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
ibreaks.co.uk
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Dead Mike is an unknown quantity at this point
haahah fuckin morons.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
mapleleaf4ever's Avatar
sweet sensi crew
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
mapleleaf4ever is a jewel in the roughmapleleaf4ever is a jewel in the roughmapleleaf4ever is a jewel in the roughmapleleaf4ever is a jewel in the roughmapleleaf4ever is a jewel in the rough
Quote:
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
I can sympathize with this poor fellow although I would have shot the lippy bastard and demanded if anyone else was going to tell me when I can or can not have my fucking Lunch. :)
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
DM Studio Productions
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
dJ_MeDiC is an unknown quantity at this point
Reminds me

of that movie called Falling down with Michael Douglas....Shit that movie was hilarious....
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old Apr 07, 05
runnin thru the streets
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Mr.Wrong is an unknown quantity at this point
yea i remmeber that movie, it had its moments but was slow after the first time watching it

dont hold your breath for that clip, go watch MAX EX
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Apr 08, 05
Help Computer....
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
DJDeeb is on a distinguished road
Quote:
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Awsome!!!
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old Apr 08, 05
Big Deal Lucille
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
impure is a jewel in the roughimpure is a jewel in the roughimpure is a jewel in the roughimpure is a jewel in the rough
Quote:
Originally Posted by dJ_MeDiC
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
i've heard that somewhere before.
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