No Christmas !?

[esoter1c]

A Christmas Story
> >
> > 'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
> > He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
> > Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
> > I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
> >
> > I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
> > Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
> > The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
> > The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
> >
> > Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
> > Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
> > And just when I thought that things would get better
> > Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
> > They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
> > Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
> >
> > And the kids these days--they all are the pits
> > They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
> > I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
> > Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
> > I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
> > They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
> >
> > Flying through the air...dodging the trees
> > Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
> > I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
> > I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
> >
> > There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
> > I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

[ebbomega]

Already seen that twice this year. I think once was here.

Feel the need to follow it up this time round:

"On the night before Christmas, all the elves were making toys
For the good gentile girls, and the good gentile boys.
And the boss busted in, and he scared them half to death
He had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled yuletide rambo
And he said to them all with a twinkle in his eye,
'Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!'

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he was getting the raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain."
- "Weird" Al Yankovic

[esoter1c]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Already seen that twice this year. I think once was here.

Feel the need to follow it up this time round:

"On the night before Christmas, all the elves were making toys
For the good gentile girls, and the good gentile boys.
And the boss busted in, and he scared them half to death
He had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled yuletide rambo
And he said to them all with a twinkle in his eye,
'Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!'

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he was getting the raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain."
- "Weird" Al Yankovic

707...