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Jul 12, 06
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Essay 2 of 2: Madagascar! The one WITHOUT Chris Rock
here's another essay i wrote while bored at work
The name Madagascar is kinda redundant because of course gas goes into a car....however in Britain they call it Madapetrolauto. It never flew with americans. the country lies in the middle of the indian ocean off the coast of africa, where lots of people with aids live. it is actually home to 5% of the entire list of plants and animal species in the world, of which 80% are unique to madapetrolauto. Some pretty cool animals live there as we learned from the movie, including lemurs, birds, and baobabs. People in madagascar speak Malagasy, but despite the name, the brits do not call it Malapetroly...that's just silly. Madagascar become well known when francerealized they could "hire" troops from teh country, who fought in WW2 in France, Morocco, and Syria. Syria was quite teh change for them, they needed winter coats made out of six lemur skins deep. In 1956 though, thems madagascarians fought long and hard against the french and achieved independance, only to realize they were an island in the middle of the ocean. ;( Back in the 70s, Madagascar started to realize they needed....SOME sort of economy. Thus started the time of Malgasization (i didn't make up that word) which actually crippled the economy further as they thought strengthening private enterprises and centralizing the economy was a good thing. FOOLS! CURSES! Come the 80s, people had had enough and realized they could vote for a new political party, and some dude named Rasiraka came in and made some liberal reforms, allowing that island full of animals nobody cared about to.....k well he still didn't get anywhere because in august of 1991 he ordered troops to fire on a crowd of peaceful demonstraters, killing moer than 30 of them. WAY TO GO BUDDY. Due to political pressure he was forced on oct 31st of that year (HAPPY HALLOWEEN IM A LION) to resign most of his powers and create a transitional government. Skip ahead more years of failure and presidential elections to 2002 when Ratiskara, who somehow still held an office, fled in exile to France...some might say it was due to ethnic differences...something this wikipedia article tries to explain but I'm on a call and it looks too difficult to make it sound funny. Right now, madagascar has gone BACKWARDS to a time of when various chiefs roamed the land of their elders. There's now 22 Regional Chiefs who report directly to the president....it's also rumored every friday night they load up FRESH ON THEIR SHORES Team Fortress Classic and assist the president in flag running 2fort for hours on end against...nobody, beacuse they've oppresseed everyone. There's about 18 million people in Madagascar, of which i'm sure NONE of them have seen the Disney movie. Amoungst their genes include arab, indian, and european influences....maybe people trying to find shangra la and instead ended up stranded on this too large to be considered an island, island. Some people are nomadic, while others are just lazy. If you want to talkt o the smart people there, you best brush up on your French beacuse that's what the schooled people speak. Poorer people are stuck with the ghetto Malagasy language, rumored to be a mix of Malayo, Polynesian, and howler monkey. Back in the day (1960) french and malagasy were the official languages. Now, in the current constituition, there's no official languages mentioned,w hich just like their decentralization of power, points to signs of them just giving up entirely and letting the lemurs run the show. Half of the people there practice voodoo, or at least that's what I'm assuming due to their religon emphasizing a link between the living and the dead. They believe that the dead join their ancestors "in the ranks of divinity and that ancestors are intensely concerned with the fate of their living descendants". Sounsd like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me, but hey, maybe they have ghosts over there that keep things interesting. Just like every other country, Missionaries came over and tried talking about jesus and converting people. Oddly enough, unlike the head-hunter stories of papau new guinnea (that's totally spelt wrogn and I'm too lazy to look up a new wiki article), the Missionaries were mildly successful and about 45% of the malagasy and christians, evenly distributed between catholics and protestants (cue family guy flashback of peter and lois's wedding here). However, to appease the voodoo gods, many of these churches incorporate the cult of the dead with their religious beliefs and "bless their dead at church before proceeding with the traditional burial rites". Screwed up voodoo christiniaty is what this is. Some of the christian sects uphold the belief that this is devil worship, but those churches probably aren't raking in cash in the collection plates, either. FUN FACT: Part of Madagascar's failed economic boom in the 80s was due to Coca-Cola changing to "new coke" formula, which involved a synthetic vanilla flavor. Madagascar was the primary provider of vanilla for Coke, which cried, then later rejoiced as the public hated 'new coke' and wanted the classic sweet coca cola crisp taste. And there you have it, Madagascar is a rather diverse country. One of their primary exports is Corn, or as the Indians like it call it...maaaaaaize [/simpsons]. TA DA 
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Jul 13, 06
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You've got a fair bit of spare time there eh Wizzy?
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