Pirate Slots:
9:30 - 10:45
DJ BLOWY REVENGE aka BEV
(fun, fun, earls, eciad)
Shipwrecked on an island with only a copy of Michael Jackson's 'OFF THE WALL', BEV aka DJ BLOWY REVENGE's ability to walk was forgotten as she became totally dependant on sassy dance moves for transportation. Her rescue and rehabilitation was turned into an unpopular ABC Movie of the Week. BLOWY REVENGE will be doing a live set of the soundtrack to 'MOONWALKING FORWARDS: How Bev Made Her Legs Work Normal'.
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10:45 - 12:00
SOMA
(Solid Bros, scratchspin.net)
Accused of a crime he did not commit, SOMA is a man on the run from the law. Finding temporary solace on the Choice Pirate Ship, SOMA still can not use his normal face for public photographs. In addition to spinning saturday, SOMA will also be signing copies of his new book 'I Live With a Girl Who is Not My Girlfriend and Things Don't Get Weird, Seriously'.
He will be shirtless.
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12:00 - 1:00
SANDY JOE
(aqua 1066)
SANDY JOE has changed her names a few times over the course of the past 5 years. She was an original member of En Vouge and can juggle. Have you ever seen a girl play professional hockey? She has, it was on TV. I think the chick was french. Also, SANDY has a DOG who will be AT HOME during APEX.
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#SPECIAL EVENT AT 1 AM SHARP#
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DANCE 360 COMPETITION
If pirates could watch TV it would be cool to get them drunk and watching DANCE 360. They would probably be all loud and yelly at the TV and wonder how it got everyone to be so small and could dance together inside a little box. This is because pirates are mostly from the 1600s, a time when no televisions would work because electricity wasn't invented by God yet.
Luckily the CHOICE PIRATE CREW can make electricity, enough to CREATE A WILL LIT AREA. In this area there will be an EPIC DANCE COMPETITION. Get ready to go Head to Head and Tag Your Man.
WITH HOSTS:
RYAN EUGENE DANGEROUS
(His name used to be Chet)
++++AND++++
THE OTHER GUY
(His name is Brian or Steve or Kevin or Something)
featuring the DJ STYLINGS OF
DJ BACKSPIN, FADER
AKA DJ SONGS WITH LONGER INTROS PLEASE
(bearpack, lynn valley, afflecks)
DJ BACKSPIN, (comma) FADER is probably the best dj you have ever heard who isn't that good of a dj. Hates being outside and loud music. Gets cranky easily. Loves cute kittens and hamburgers, and cute kitten hamburgers (as long as they use all of the kitten, like the NATIVE PEOPLES DID).
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2:00 - 4:00
CAPTAIN LENNY GRUNT
(choice, colour me funk, bearpack, marissa cooper's bangs)
vs.
CHARLES 'THE TUNA' TOOTHPICK
(djcharlietuna.com, lynn valley)
A DJ battle born out of a mutual hate for one another, LENNY and CHARLES are former cancer researchers turned nightclub professionals. At last years Pete Tong Hot Dog Invitational, LENNY GRUNT lost a heartbreaker final to CHARLES T due to a suspicious "pulled uvula". The PTHDI belt is up for grabs at APEX as LENNY looks for redemption in the eyes of his father, and possibly romance. CHARLES will be looking for a laminated pass with his name on it.
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3:45 - 5:00
JOHNNY 'PETER PAN' ILL
(Solid Bros, bearpack, myspace.com)
JOHNNY excels in both math and science. JOHNNY could do with a little more effort in developing his ability to keep on task. An avid artist, JOHNNY's crayon pictures mainly depict him crying near groups of girls or loud dogs. I would like to set up a parent-teacher conference with JOHNNY's parents to make sure this is just a phase and not something that will manifest itself later in life, possibly in some sort of livejournal or online blog (possibly as poetry).
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5:00 - 6:15
DEEB
(h2o productions, unconcious brothers)
DEEB has a cool name to say over and over again. DEEB. DEEB. DEEB. DEEB. DEEB. DEEB. After a while it sounds like DEEP or maybe like there is an h in there. He is playing the Choice Pirate Ship because he has the most hairy chest of anyone we know, and it makes up for the rest of us. Thank you for being a MAN where we couldn't, DEEB.
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6:15 - Until We Leave
JON STEAKHOUSE
(colour me funk, team punk)
JON STEAKHOUSE is a person who you do not want to mess with. From the jungles of Africa, our bright sun has turned his once golden hair to a firey red. JON has been producing for over 20 years, his most memorable hits being the entrance music for the WWF's
'Honky Tonk Man' and the theme song to CBC's 'The Littlest Hobo'. JON did most of the whistling.
ALL ABOARD