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A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.
One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "Sorry, Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan." "That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door." |
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Two boys are playing hockey on the Boston Common pond when one is attacked by a vicious rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hockey stick and scares the dog off, stopping the attack. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Young Bruins fan saves friend from vicious animal..." he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Bruins fan," the little boy replies. "Sorry. Since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and starts again. "Red Sox fan rescues friend from horrific attack...” he continues writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" the boy says. "So, what team do you root for?" the reporter asks. "I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beams. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little brat from New York kills beloved family pet." |
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On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?" "Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were an idiot and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan." |
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Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet." |
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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "241." "That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!" Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" The lady answers, "144." "That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!". Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" The person answers, "51." Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,"GO RED SOX"!! |
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There were two men, one was a Red Sox fan and the other was a Yankees fan.
These men were both madly in love with the same woman. So the woman challenged that whichever man does a better job at having sex with her would be her boyfriend. Both men accepted the challenge. That night, the woman had sex with the Red Sox fan and then the other night had sex with the Yankees fan. The next day the woman chose the Yankees fan to be her boyfriend. Shocked and outraged, the Red Sox fan asked why she didn't choose him. She replied by saying, "You, like your team not only come up short but always finish early!" |