To my fellow Dane Cook fan! (SW)

[CodaDrummer]

I got into a car accident recently, right? NOT my fault, this car accident was not my fault! But you know how it goes... you get into a car accident, even if it's not your fault the other person they get out of their car and look at you like it is your fault. Even if it is CLEARLY their fault, they get and they're like

............??????????............"Alrig ht, why did you stop at a redlight and let me hit you doing 80??!!?? WHY DID YOU STOP AT A REDLIGHT!?"

Then you get out, right? You go, start looking at the damage. Start looking, keep looking at each other, back at the damage.
"Will you please come and look at my damage with me, Sir? If we look together, maybe some magic will happen! This is... FEEL this, this even feels damaged! Do you have tools, can you fix this right now? This is horribly... this feels so horribly damaged! Even if I was blind I would know that this is horribly damaged... by the way it FEELS."

Then you got to exchange the information, right? That sucks cause nobody ever has a fuckin pen!

"Do you have a pen, I don't have a pen! Can you remember all my shit? Do you have lipstick or something... a craYON?"

Right, so when you finally, here's what happens though... you finally get the information going, right? And you print your stuff nice and clean. There you go, there's my.... highlite, everything's nice. You give em... there you go, it's in an envelope *licking sound* yeah. But then you get their information and looks like they had a fuckin seizure while they were writing it.

"Dude, you got like a 28 digit phone number goin on here, buddy. And under Name, you drew a picture of a monkey fuckin a Coconut. What is that? Is your name Monkey Fuckin A Coconut, Sir? MFC, is that you? MFC? That's a monkey, that could be a melon, looks like a Co - Co - Nut!"

Then you take a second, here's where it starts getting embarassing, right. You take a second, while you're doing the exchange. You just look around for a second, and there's people everywhere! They're like building bleachers on the sidewalk and shit! People coming out of bushes...

"What? Accident? I'm gonna watch for awhile! Wow, they're discussing it right there!"

[CodaDrummer]

Don't mind us, people! We're crazy! :)

[Silverwinged]

When I was a little kid I used to have crazy dreams because… Well do you remember Nestlé’s Quick, you know the powder? You’d put it in your milk? And then you’d stir it for like 30 minutes and no matter how hard you fuckin stirred, there was still chunks of powdery magma that would float up and explode in your eye while you were tryin to drink. Like, try to take a sip and BAM! GOD DAMN! A sand missile just blew up in my eye! The movie DUNE is in my chocolatey drink. I don’t like it when the movie Dune is in my drink. Crazy…

When I was like 5 or 6 years old… I took the powder… And I snorted it. Because I heard about speed… So I thought speed…quick… Maybe there was some kind of connection. So then I would have fucked up dreams because, you know, I was all hopped up on the “Q” as we called it on the streets. I would just be on my big wheel… All strung out… like “What am I doin with my fuckin life here man... Ya! I’ll play kick ball… Tomorrow…Tomorrow…I can’t kick the ball today… I’m not feelin the kick ball, not feelin the kickball vibe…”

[CodaDrummer]

Hahahahah! I love that one too!

I'd say the both of us are strung out on "Q"! Hahah

[~god~]

"I rather have people who yell instead of people who don't talk loud enough. I'd be there at the drive through going 'hi.. how may i help you?'
'uumm..psshc..cheese, extra cheese, pickles, you have small, cheese small, extra pickles.. how much? cheese.
HOT SWEET N SOUR SAUCE ON MY PUSSY!!"

[Silverwinged]

I like to tell people I work at the BK Lounge.
"Ya I work at the BK Lounge..."
"Really?!?! What do you do!?"
"I'm a bouncer..."

[~god~]

" i took a lady's order one time.. I'll never forget this... I go "Ma'sam it'll be $3.95.. please drive around. and she looks at me and goes, 'where do I go????'

'where do you go? you keep on the one fucking road.. to ME! where do you go? OKAY MA'AM you're gonna go to the texico station. you're gonna take right.. go five n a half miles south east.. you're gonna see a guy in a yellow pnshow. his name is Hank, he'll take you to the wopper layer...THATS WHERE YOU GO!!"

[Silverwinged]

"You have 10 minutes. And if you are late... WE TAKE YOUR FOOD!"

[~god~]

"then the shark was trying to get away. so I pull him back, and punch him in the face. Then i go like this, watch, I go, 'fuck you shark'"