sex and emotional attachment

Alex · #1 (**permalink**) Sep 12, 06

i dont think it's jsut girls... I dunno I was talking to a couple good friends of mine that are both umm always 'available' and we were discussing it.. All of us, after sleeping witha girl.. usually think we really like the girl. Think maybe we should date this one and rationalize it... but the second we sleep with a new girl, we completely forget about the last and we feel the same about the next(well sometimes the girl is an idiot and there's no desire to talk to her again)

wondering if any other guys go through the same thing.. and it's funny cause it happens even if I don't have sex and just fool around with a girl.. it's like the whole next day or few days I'll be like 'I really like this girl. man I think i'm going to date her' then the second a new girl comes I forget the old even existed.

any other guys do the same thing? or are my friends and I just fucked in the head...

Alex · #2 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

a deep intimate friendship with a girl.. where you cuddle/share emotions but dont sleep together... and then both you/the girl sleep around?

Alex · #3 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

^ i wouldn't know. never fallen for a girl.

thechix0r · #4 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

That's a tough one, I personally have never been like that, I have always been a relationship kind of girl, but that sucks that you've never fallen for a girl, with the right person it can be absolutely amazing

mapleleaf4ever · #5 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

I dunno but I've had Friends with Benefits before and it stayed like that.

I can tell the difference between humping for fun and humping because I want her.

For some People Sex can really complicate things and they can't remove the emotional attachment. Others, (like myself) can do it and not have that annoying clingy feeling.

Cdn_Brdr · #6 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by mapleleaf4ever

Others, (like myself) can do it and not have that annoying clingy feeling.

Oh you mean like a slut?

It's ok Erik... you're a dude, it's supposed to be that way.

mapleleaf4ever · #7 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

^ I suppose... I'm not a Slut though as I've not wantonly slept my way around the GTA.

Cdn_Brdr · #8 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Well there's only so many and fat and uglies to go around right?

I kid I kid!!!

#9 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

i dont think it's jsut girls... I dunno I was talking to a couple good friends of mine that are both umm always 'available' and we were discussing it.. All of us, after sleeping witha girl.. usually think we really like the girl. Think maybe we should date this one and rationalize it... but the second we sleep with a new girl, we completely forget about the last and we feel the same about the next(well sometimes the girl is an idiot and there's no desire to talk to her again)

wondering if any other guys go through the same thing.. and it's funny cause it happens even if I don't have sex and just fool around with a girl.. it's like the whole next day or few days I'll be like 'I really like this girl. man I think i'm going to date her' then the second a new girl comes I forget the old even existed.

any other guys do the same thing? or are my friends and I just fucked in the head...

honeymoon phase - 'nuff said.

it is totally cool at first, but once the honeymoon is over, you won't want it anymore.

crookedking · #10 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

i dont think it's jsut girls... I dunno I was talking to a couple good friends of mine that are both umm always 'available' and we were discussing it.. All of us, after sleeping witha girl.. usually think we really like the girl. Think maybe we should date this one and rationalize it... but the second we sleep with a new girl, we completely forget about the last and we feel the same about the next(well sometimes the girl is an idiot and there's no desire to talk to her again)

wondering if any other guys go through the same thing.. and it's funny cause it happens even if I don't have sex and just fool around with a girl.. it's like the whole next day or few days I'll be like 'I really like this girl. man I think i'm going to date her' then the second a new girl comes I forget the old even existed.

any other guys do the same thing? or are my friends and I just fucked in the head...

it's called being a "playa" and you're not unique. many hip hop artists have gotten rich spouting off "lyrics" about their "hoes" and "bitches".

thechix0r · #11 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

hahaha ^ for some reason though don't think he's calling them hoes and bitches, but if he was all hip hop, wouldn't he not have feelings for them at all... like Erik said up there, there are people who can have sex and not have an emotional attachment to them after they part ways, and there are people who aren't emotionally capable of that. I guess you just have to draw the line and either find someone you exclusively want to date, or get out in the dating scene and try not produce STDs.

If you're having issues with the fact that you can't distinguish between the two of them, then perhaps you should take a minute to actually think what you want. Maybe you want a relationship and think there is potential in the girls you're sleeping with and then you see them the next day and realize that all you have is a sexual connection. Try hanging out first maybe?

Silverwinged · #12 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avana

honeymoon phase - 'nuff said.

it is totally cool at first, but once the honeymoon is over, you won't want it anymore.

QUOTED FOR MOFUCKIN TRUTH.

mojo · #13 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

sex for some ppl is more intimate then others. some can have a shag and not think about whats-her-tits ever again, and some find emotion in the connection(at the crotccccch) and become attached to that, even if it is just messing around.

you are not unique.

Gusto · #14 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by thechix0r

but if he was all hip hop, wouldn't he not have feelings for them at all

you heard it here first, people who like hip hop don't have feelings.

Silverwinged · #15 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusto

you heard it here first, people who like hip hop don't have feelings.

fuck then gusto.
you must be one robotic mother fucker.

#16 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusto

you heard it here first, people who like hip hop don't have feelings.

I KNEW IT!

THAT IS HOW THEY CAN KNOCK THEIR BITCHES UP, AND IGNORE THE BABYS MOMMA DRAMA!

Silverwinged · #17 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

I DONT WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME

Prissypants · #18 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

When I was younger I used to get the emotional thing...Not any more... Meh, depends on the situation. It takes alot for me to even admit I like a person...They have to have more than just skills in the sack.

baby-phat · #19 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

I get that a bit too.. I almost always end up with a huge crush on someone if we fool around a bit. *blush*

Play-it-hard · #20 (**permalink**) Sep 13, 06

I think it depends on the person and both of your understanding of the situation. I have had some where I can go and get it on with them and not even think about it the next day, But if things are left unsaid perhaps.. then emotional attatchment can come in. So boys, if you dont want to be with the chick, save everyone the emotional exaustment.. and tell her whats up.

Kraig · #21 (**permalink**) Sep 14, 06

I think the older you get, the more in tune you become with what you're looking for. To further, the other person (guy or girl) needs to be as in tune and ultimately on the same page as you as far as what "it" will be -- friends with benefits, etc.

If those two things are in place, this type of thing can happen but it definitely takes a certain level of awareness and maturity.

myssmysteria · #22 (**permalink**) Sep 15, 06

:love1: For me, there has to be SOME sort of an emotional attachment to someone to sleep with them. But I am mature enough to have different kinds of relationships, and have been able to have a couple " friends with benefits".
As long as it is clearly understood beforehand that it is not going to turn into a relationship, then I don't see a problem with it. :229:

Now the funny thing- You would think that it is usually the girl that decides all of a sudden that she can't do the " friends with benefits" thing because all of a sudden, she has these deep feelings for the dude, right? For me, it seems to be the guy. I kinda got suckered into my last relationship because I was hanging out with this guy, thinking " he's a guy....he's not gonna pressure me into any relationship B.S",and what do you know?

" I really like you," he says,"and I want to be with you."

I says "Pardon?"

LOL

I thought I was gonna get to enjoy the single life a little longer ( I had just gotten out of a year relationship in November, and it was now February).But for some reason I liked that A$$hole and I let him pressure me into it.Next thing you know, what I thought was a casual thing turned into three months of HELL!! LMFAO

So GIRLS, BEWARE!!!!!
If you think you are mature enough to have a " friends with benefits", then go right ahead. But you're not safe! Soon they will want to tie you down.

:Techno:

baby-phat · #23 (**permalink**) Sep 15, 06

Quote:

Originally Posted by myssmysteria

Now the funny thing- You would think that it is usually the girl that decides all of a sudden that she can't do the " friends with benefits" thing because all of a sudden, she has these deep feelings for the dude, right?

Some times it is the girl, some times it isn't- I've been on both sides.
My last "friends with benefits" thing that I had goin on I decided to terminate, so now we're just friends. :)