brother

[miss.myra]

I really don't like to make these kinds of posts, but i'm not sure what to do.

Recently, there's been some legal issues with my late grandmother's will and so my family's lawyers have had to send a lot of correspondence out to everyone included.

I have a half brother (same dad) that I've never ever met. Basically, there's a ton of bad blood between his mum+family against my family. In all of the previous correspondence with the will it basically indicated he had no contact with our family for 25 years and he doesn't want to be found. ouch!

Any time I brought him up with my family I'd get very brief responses because I honestly don't think anyone wanted to open a can of worms and they didn't want me to know too much in case I'd go out of my way to find him.

This leads up to today. I got another document from the lawyers and there was his name and an address for him which was c/o some investment banking firm in Seattle he works at. Seattle is pretty close, and to me it's pretty important I meet this guy because bad blood or not he IS part of my family.

So it's just a weird point for me, do I send some kind of letter to his work asking that he reply if he cares to? Do I forget about it because it might end up being ugly? Keep in mind that if I decided to do anything about it, nobody in my family could know because it could potentially turn things very ugly. Because this was my dad's side of the family, my immediate family (mum+other half brother) are not included in the will and would not know I know this stuff too.

It would be a weird jump to take and possibly even weirder with no support from my family.

Has anyone done this before?

[Chewy]

Cant say i have had that type of situation. But i also have a half brother (same father) and i consider him my real brother. There has been rough years with his mom and my dad which kept us seperate for the younger part of my life. Now that we are adults, we had deleveloped a great relationship. It is like we have been family all along.

I say go see him or write to him. At least you will know his situation on things. Then you can go back to your life you have now or include him in it someway.

Either way, all the best

[Webber]

go a head and write a letter to him, its not going to do any harm and then if he responds you can make your descision to meet him from there

[Hot Karl]

i know someone who basically randomly ran into a long lost bro. long story short, they are living together in edmonton while she gets her schooling done.

so go for it. i wouldn't worry about your family, just send a letter and get a conversation going. it's not like you're going down there to meet him and all his family or something.

g'luck myra

[dabbler]

i would assume him wanting no contact with the family is about his relationship with his parents, not you

[cinist]

call him, definatly call him

[mojo]

get in touch.

my father was disconnected from 2 of his children for close to 20 years due to lies and other information said about, all info that was false. His kids knew nothing but these lies. Perhaps it is the same kinda thing and he has heard nothing but fabrications or something.

If it comes back return to sender you will know his answer, but if it doesn't you could come out of it with some more family. I now have another sister and a brother, and i am an uncle. My advice is to send.

[frogprincess]

do it!

even if he wants no contact you will not have lost anything besides a piece of paper, an envelope, a stamp and a little bit of time :0)

good luck!

[decypher]

I can really relate Myra. My dad has all these brothers and sisters who live in Vancouver and who are from Hong Kong. I've never met any of them because of bad blood as well. My family in general just isn't very close. I just found out that they live nearby from my cousin whom i visited in London. I've been thinking more about contacting them but haven't made the leap yet.

I think it would be good to go for it. Family is family.

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

As someone who dearly cherishes family, I say go for it!

You really have nothing to lose. Your family (mom, other brother) have to realize that although he might not be a part of their family, he is still yours. You have every right to get to know him. I honestly believe that most people that dont want to reconnect with lost family members, are bitter about some he said/she said shit. He might not have made contact with you or anyone else because he feels unsure like you do.

Contacting him might be the best thing you ever did. Good luck with everything and definately keep us posted =D

[stephen_c]

" In all of the previous correspondence with the will it basically indicated he had no contact with our family for 25 years and he doesn't want to be found. ouch!"

that's ur answer rite there.
respect his privacy.

[cinist]

do it , and send him a watermelon!