When do you know to not give another chance?

[Ashley*Dawn]

I've got a friend, well we ain't friend's anymore. I've known her since we were like 13 and we used to hang out all the time. She moved away cause of some random reason. Moved back and was just a horrible person, lied, took money from us. Used a huge amount of drugs. Then she left again.
I find out today that she is now back in town lives a block away and wants to go for coffee. I just don't know if I want to jump back into that and hope she's changed, cause it is possible. Or have her do the same thing she's always does. Act all different then go back to her normal ways. I just can't go threw all of that crap again, to much stress. I just don't know what to do.

[crackdragon]

It is only just coffee, and as you said maybe she cleaned up and has changed... you dont have to let someone back inot your life just because of what they used be or mean to you. If you think shes worth it then maybe slowly build the friendship again. Other then that though if you feel it is just not worth the stress, I would suggest just stopping right there. No need to cause yourself more grief for the sake it. Frienships are a lot like any other relationship you have in life... if there is no trust, or respect then why do it imo

[thechix0r]

You can always walk away from coffee

[project.one]

^ What they said.

Its just coffee. And if she starts acting like a bitch again you can always back hand her and leave her with the bill.









Or just tell her you dont want to be friends with someone like her if she is going to be that way and leave.





Either or!

[Heffy]

If she starts being a bitch at coffee, squirt an entire bottle of visine in her coffee when she's not looking. See what happens :P

seriously though. bad friends are a waste of time. I have had to cut a lot of people off. At first it can be hard. But its totally worth it. Look out for No.1, you don't need to go for a ride on a rollercoaster of shit again.

Maybe i'm just a l ittle jaded though..

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by Heffy

If she starts being a bitch at coffee, squirt an entire bottle of visine in her coffee when she's not looking. See what happens :P

seriously though. bad friends are a waste of time. I have had to cut a lot of people off. At first it can be hard. But its totally worth it. Look out for No.1, you don't need to go for a ride on a rollercoaster of shit again.

Maybe i'm just a l ittle jaded though..

no.1 indeed.

completely agrred.

[mojo]

maybe she wants to make amends and has no interest in having you in her life other then the chance to appologize for wring doings in the past.

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

Maybe mojo is right..

Maybe she is just looking to clear the air. Maybe you will never be friends again, but think how good it will feel to clear up all the shit.

On the other hand...if she is looking for your friendship and ultimately that isnt something your ready for...then tell her. Its hard saying goodbye to a friend..but its harder dealing with a bad friend.

[Kraig]

Originally Posted by Ashley*Dawn

I've got a friend, well we ain't friend's anymore. I've known her since we were like 13 and we used to hang out all the time. She moved away cause of some random reason. Moved back and was just a horrible person, lied, took money from us. Used a huge amount of drugs. Then she left again.
I find out today that she is now back in town lives a block away and wants to go for coffee. I just don't know if I want to jump back into that and hope she's changed, cause it is possible. Or have her do the same thing she's always does. Act all different then go back to her normal ways. I just can't go threw all of that crap again, to much stress. I just don't know what to do.

You can be the bigger and more mature person and ultimately just listen to her. It is then also your right after you listen to her, to be completely blunt and tell her how her previous actions made you feel.

[SmokeOne]

Originally Posted by Kraig

You can be the bigger and more mature person and ultimately just listen to her. It is then also your right after you listen to her, to be completely blunt and tell her how her previous actions made you feel.

^ Agreed be blunt.

[tango]

i'd enter it cautiously. go for coffee, but be in your gaurd. assess the situation while you're talking to her.
i'm totally the type where i'll give "friends" so many chances and they just take advantage of it and expect me to be there to bail them out when they fuck up. usually they need something from me. i've realized over the last couple of years that there IS a limit. it takes ALOT for people to change

[fable]

Originally Posted by Ashley*Dawn

I've got a friend, well we ain't friend's anymore. I've known her since we were like 13 and we used to hang out all the time. She moved away cause of some random reason. Moved back and was just a horrible person, lied, took money from us. Used a huge amount of drugs. Then she left again.
I find out today that she is now back in town lives a block away and wants to go for coffee. I just don't know if I want to jump back into that and hope she's changed, cause it is possible. Or have her do the same thing she's always does. Act all different then go back to her normal ways. I just can't go threw all of that crap again, to much stress. I just don't know what to do.

I dont think there is much more to offer after reading everyone elses replies. But knowing what its like to be that "bad freind" and having some heart to heart conversations with my crew throughtout dealing with my addicitions, Ive come to realize that people (including me) sometimes ignore how hard it is to be in YOUR (or my freinds) shoes. As you probably have learned in life by now, love, and loving someone doesnt always equate to 24/7 good times. Most of the time its a challenge, a compromise, an eye opener and overwhelming.

I would say give your friend a chance, if even to get some real closure. The single greatest invention of human beings is CHANGE, and it can be as equally powerful as love, especially if it is derived from such. A little sensitivity combined with some secure personal boundries should see you doing fine throughout coffee. In the end the choice is yours.

good luck

[Ashley*Dawn]

I totally understand what everyone is saying, I always give chances but I always get screwed around. I just do not want to deal with all of her oh feel bad for me cause of this and this so I can take advantage of you. I love all my friend's and want to keep as many as possible. I just am so tired of dealing with people using me cause I do care for them.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by fable

I dont think there is much more to offer after reading everyone elses replies.

Isn't it heartwarming to read that in front of the longest reply of the thread?

[miss.myra]

Even if someone has true regrets, if they have crossed a line in the past you also should remember you have no obligation to take them back and be their friend again.

I agree with sticking out for #1, and I feel like there are some things that I just won't stand for and probably won't forgive if a friend did them to me. Years later I would probably understand someone has realized the true consequences of their actions, what good would facing someone again and opening up the same wounds do?

I don't know, I'm just very stubborn and there are a few things that would make me do that.

At the same time, if you feel it is forgivable and it isn't something that crosses one of your boundaries, then go for it. If this person has changed, it's important to let someone know that despite everything you still care and that you aren't judging them as a person by their past mistakes because it sounds like they have a lot of healing to do and they need to know these things.

So I guess what you need to figure out is if it falls into the first or second category, then you'll know what to do.

[christoqher]

I'de go to the coffee soley for an explanation, then I would tell them off.
Plus you can't trust dem druggies, im just saying
*fin

[Chewy]

Originally Posted by Ashley*Dawn

I totally understand what everyone is saying, I always give chances but I always get screwed around. I just do not want to deal with all of her oh feel bad for me cause of this and this so I can take advantage of you. I love all my friend's and want to keep as many as possible. I just am so tired of dealing with people using me cause I do care for them.

Its time to stop dealing with her shit, worry about yourself first. You know what she has done before and you know what she may possibly do again. Im sure you have many other friends that respect you and those are the people you should care about.

[Ista]

im not gonna even read what everyone else wrote because you should know the answer already.

Its only fuckin coffee...
maybe she wants to you to hear her out...maybe she wants to apologize..maybe she wants to throw a donut at your face.
whatever the case.
You can stand up and walk.
But if you have a history with her....hear her out...but you can give her your 2 cents too....maybe she needs advice..or maybe YOU (if your such a great person) can influence her ways more positivley....

whatever the case. Nobody's holding a gun to your head to be friends with her...but people happen. Give her a chance.

[Ista]

Originally Posted by Heffy

If she starts being a bitch at coffee, squirt an entire bottle of visine in her coffee when she's not looking. See what happens :p

Thats fully something I'd do.
because im a cold hearted bitch like that.

[fable]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Isn't it heartwarming to read that in front of the longest reply of the thread?

Two paragraphs! Hahaha, you weak fuck!

[fable]

Originally Posted by Ista

because im a cold hearted bitch like that.

Seriously, is this kind of thinking some sort of right of passage for young women living in north america???

[Ista]

Oh for fuck sakes did you want a tissue.

Im not parading myself around like im a bitch for god sakes , im just being blunt.
And you can diffrenciate the ones that are and ones that arent..and Im telling you , Ive met some real fuckin bitches! And they do exist!

The fakes are the ones that hide behind a monitor and rant and rave about how they're "bitches" and seemingly untouchable , but when you catch them in person their huge pusses.

Im a fucking auditor. I GET PAID to be a bitch. I HAVE to be a bitch. Naturally I have a bitchy attitude and i take little to no shit. From anyone.
Ask my boyfriend. I really dont give a shit.
And to make my point , I dont give a fly what anyones opinions are on "categorizing bitches".

cheers.

[-evil-duerr-]

a couple people I was really good friends with back in high school lost my trust because of some sketchy shit they did.

I still talk to them, I'll still go for the odd drink. But things changed and the friendship that had existed before is gone for good.

There is no point in keeping close relations with people like that. There's plenty of good folks to go around, if someones giving you grief move on.
Go for coffee with the girl, sure why not? But judging by what you said about her, it's probably a good idea to keep her out of your inner circle of close trustworthy friends - at least for now, you have to make the judgement call.

[fable]

Originally Posted by Ista

Oh for fuck sakes did you want a tissue.

Im not parading myself around like im a bitch for god sakes , im just being blunt.
And you can diffrenciate the ones that are and ones that arent..and Im telling you , Ive met some real fuckin bitches! And they do exist!

The fakes are the ones that hide behind a monitor and rant and rave about how they're "bitches" and seemingly untouchable , but when you catch them in person their huge pusses.

Im a fucking auditor. I GET PAID to be a bitch. I HAVE to be a bitch. Naturally I have a bitchy attitude and i take little to no shit. From anyone.
Ask my boyfriend. I really dont give a shit.
And to make my point , I dont give a fly what anyones opinions are on "categorizing bitches".

cheers.

Hahahaha, your a walking talking cliche. Carry on.

[Ragga_Wh0re]

history has a funny way of repeating itself,and youve witnessed this first hand.

stick to your guns and keep the bitch out of your life.If not there will just be another heart to heart thread about how she burned you again bud.And then,it`ll be your own damned fault for being a sucka!

stay sucka free.