keeping secrets from your perants

strawberr_E · #1 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

alot of people on here seem to keep big huge secrets fropm their perants. why? tell the truth. i mean come on would you rather lie and do something your perants don't like or tell the truth and do something your perants don't like.

explain to them this: i'm gunna do whatever I'm gunna do i can either do it with your knowledge or do it behind your back it's up to you. 9 out of 10 perants will choose the first option.

yourlilbaby · #2 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

yeaah i have the same views as you but then again i have the slackest paretns that have ever walked on the planet! but no i dont get it either! :284:

sweet~kandy · #3 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

yah ...lol hehehe I took the chance to tell my mom straight up what I was doing. The words that came from her mouth was " Its ok I just dont want u doing it again"... I guess my mom is pretty understanding.... so I advise you to let it out....

JoNeSie · #4 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

Ya, Tina. You better not do it again! Otherwise, your mommy will be mad at you.

sweet~kandy · #5 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

hahahaha u know my mommie thou,, shes cool

starsprite · #6 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

It's spelled "PARENTS" and I lie cuz for me and my family, it's easier than telling the truth.

Ragga_Wh0re · #7 (**permalink**) Nov 23, 02

honesty is key!!!! much respect and much trust is to be gained for being honest. Lies only come back and bite u in the ass really fucking hard so hard u need to get a tetnus shot.

yoko* · #8 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by strawberr_E:

explain to them this: i'm gunna do whatever I'm gunna do i can either do it with your knowledge or do it behind your back it's up to you. 9 out of 10 perants will choose the first option.

perhaps you come from a family where explaining to them of this, actually works, but not all families work in the way yours does (i assume).. Some parents work in a way where it's their way or the highway. It's hard to rebel against what THEY expect of you... when expectations have been high since youth.

Sometimes, what they want isn't always what you need in your life, but going against them will bring about more problems. Sometimes it's easier to play it by their rules rather than breaking them. It's not as easy as you think, I have it pretty good if I think aboiut it, but there are MANY things I've kept from them, which I haven't regretted till this day.

I agree with jen-starsprite, I lie for the sake of the harmony of my family. And only recently am I starting to do things for the best interest of myself. And it's hard when you want to go in a direction in which your parents don't support at all. try having a sibling who's everything they want out of a child, and you being the "bad egg".

GoGo_Gurl · #9 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

i agree with yoko. Somethings are just better left unsaid. I tell my parents almost everything, but there are just some things a parent shouldnt know. everyone keeps secrets from their parents, its just the way it is, it may not be right, but weather u are willing to admit it or not, everyone does it. sometimes its for the better.

stabmyhead · #10 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

I work on "ask and tell" basis with my parents. If they ask me something, I'll answer them honestly.... after a while when you realize how stupid the "fuck mom, fuck dad, look at me rebel" act is, you see there's really no point in keeping secrets... then again, my parents and I are pretty open with each other now than when I was younger.

strawberr_E · #11 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by starsprite:
It's spelled "PARENTS" and I lie cuz for me and my family, it's easier than telling the truth.

yeah but don't you see you create a crappy relationship with your parents by not talking to them?

c.tard · #12 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

^^ not necessairly..

in some child-parent relationships it's EASIER to lie because it makes for a better relationship. not all parents are willing to accept everything their child does. if they know the truth to everything, it usually causes big fights, hurt feelings.. and just shit. it's not good and it makes it all seem worse then if they don't know.

i'm like stabby though. with almost everything, i'm on ask and tell basis with my parents. if they don't ask, and they don't know... they're fault. i don't come out and tell them, but i don't lie to them either if they ask. (except for a few things, but it doesn't really matter much.)

strawberr_E · #13 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by c-TaRd:
^^ not necessairly..

not all parents are willing to accept everything their child does. if they know the truth to everything, it usually causes big fights, hurt feelings.. and just shit. it's not good and it makes it all seem worse then if they don't know.

they don't have to accept or aprove it. my parents don't aprove of nost things i do. the fights are nowere near as bad as when your parents have to find out themselfs. then their mad at you for doing something they don't like AND lieing to them.

c.tard · #14 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

ya, but like it's been said. that's YOUR parents.

all our parents are different. For some of us, shit would be much worse if they knew. whether we told them or they found out. everyone has different relationships with their parents. even if they don't tell their parents everything, doesn't mean they odn' thave a good relationship..

and also, just because they don't know about something you did or something, does not mean your are lieing about it. it just means you didn't tell them about it. that's not lieing. if they asked you straight out and you said no, and you did. that's lieing..

yoko* · #15 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

(starwberry)what they don't know, can't hurt them. :D hehe.

not all of your own philosophies on family structure apply to every one else. Believe it or not, every family is different.

;)

yoko* · #16 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

oops. c-tard beat me to it.
dammit woman!

starsprite · #17 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by strawberr_E
yeah but don't you see you create a crappy relationship with your parents by not talking to them?

Not at all. You don't know me, my family or my relationship with them. I could just as well tell you to start lying to your parents because it seems to be working for me, but I'm not. My parents are too busy at the country club or with their dinner parties to even care about what I do when I go out at night. Our family life is fine the way it is and don't go telling me that I have a crappy relationship with my parents because you really don't have a clue.

Thank you Cheryl and Yoko!! Exactly... :D

Candy-Kid · #18 (**permalink**) Nov 24, 02

I am going though the live version right now of what your talking about. I gotta own up to a few things

Long story short. I feel for both sides but i know why you would wanna keep stuff from their knowledge.

sungoo · #19 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

when I was younger, I'd lie to my parents but that was also because I had a lot to lie about. I was getting into a lot of trouble I didn't want them to know about.
Now, I rarely do anything that would upset my parents.

instead of lying to parents, people need to grow up and start acting mature. why don't people just do things that won't get them in trouble, thus not having to lie to their own parents.

M!SKA · #20 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

^^ hey steve! :D

Strawberr_E, you've said in other posts that your dad is a hippie, giving me the impression that he's a pretty chill guy. He smokes weed for one, which is something I don't think a lot of our parents do (anymore ;) ).
My parents don't deny that they used to engage in a lot of the same activities that I am now. The rules they set reflect what they have learned from these activities and experiences, and their goal is to help my sister and I avoid having to go through the same thing.

Regarding your comment that lying creates a crappy relationship: so does constantly announcing "HEY MOM AND DAD I DID SOMETHING YOU TOLD ME NOT TO DO!!#&(!*&@!"

miss.myra · #21 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

See, from the other side of things..my parents have kept some pretty major secrets from me until very recently and it hurt me SO much to know that my parents weren't being completely honest with me because they thought what some of you think: what she doesn't know can't hurt her, it makes the family more harmonious, etc. That is a load of shit, and in time you'll realize that. I was more angry at my parents lying and being dishonest than at the actual 'truth'. Parents are over protective, and yes they can be spazzes, but most of them are rational individuals. They're being that way because they CARE.

I've always had an open and honest relationship with my mother, and I quite like it that way. It's better than being afraid of her.

c.tard · #22 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

i'm fine with how things are with my parents right now.

i don't lie, i'm on more of an ask and tell basis, like stabby. if they ask me, i'll tell them. but if they don't and then they don't know. then too bad. if it's like superly important, i'll tell them. it doesn't go for all things but the majourity of things.

also, i'm not close with my mom, not because we choose not to talk. but because she's mean and judgemental. if i do one thing, she'll blow it out of a proportion. if i do something i shouldn't have and i know after i shouldn't have, she'll make me feel like shit anyways. so i choose to just not tellher.

it works for me. and maybe when she decides not to be so mean about things then i'll open up a little..

stringbeans · #23 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by c-TaRd:
i don't lie, i'm on more of an ask and tell basis, like stabby. if they ask me, i'll tell them. but if they don't and then they don't know. then too bad. if it's like superly important, i'll tell them. it doesn't go for all things but the majourity of things.

well i hope they ask soon then :P

john
2899131

strawberr_E · #24 (**permalink**) Nov 25, 02

Quote:

Originally posted by miss.myra:
See, from the other side of things..my parents have kept some pretty major secrets from me until very recently and it hurt me SO much to know that my parents weren't being completely honest with me because they thought what some of you think: what she doesn't know can't hurt her, it makes the family more harmonious, etc. That is a load of shit, and in time you'll realize that. I was more angry at my parents lying and being dishonest than at the actual 'truth'. Parents are over protective, and yes they can be spazzes, but most of them are rational individuals. They're being that way because they CARE.

I've always had an open and honest relationship with my mother, and I quite like it that way. It's better than being afraid of her.

THANK YOU!! being lied to sucks ass!! doesn't matter if it's being done to you or you doin' the lieing.

so sawry to anyone i offended. true i really don't know what goes on in your homes and therefore can't tell you what to do. however i can suggest honesty which is what i'm doin'

kandy kid · #25 (**permalink**) Nov 26, 02

Omg I never tell my parents shit.
I have to hide things like any drug use from them. Which is much easier now that I don't live at home. One time they found out I had done E and sat me down for three hours and yelled at me until I was on the floor bawling. I don't do that many drugs, I've only done E like 5 times. (But that's 4 more than my parents know about) My parents are like anti-drug, with the exception of alcohol. They drank like fish when they were young, and know I drink.
I have tons of secrets from my parents, and I could care less, their ignorance is my bliss.