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Feb 23, 03
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~Being Pressured By Parents~
Ok, like I understand that every parent wants their child 2 suceed and everything after graduation. But, I think it's going a bit far forcing them in2 post secondary when they have no clue what they want 2 do. Last semester I took a couple classes because I wuz pressured in2 them and, I just c them as a waste of $. I didn't really learn anything or even work at my full potential. I wish they would just chill out and let me figure out what area I'm interested in b4 making me go 2 classes. Don't get me wrong, I want 2 go back 2 skool but, I want 2 have an idea of what field I'm interested in 1st. I dunno this just sucks, I feel worse and worse everyday cuz of this pressure they keep putting on me. I took this semester off and they're really mad now, talking about it everyday, any chance they get. This is driving me nuts!!! I'm going back in September and they're not even satisfied with that. I just dunno what 2 do anymore. :(
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Feb 23, 03
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Maybe they're just worried that you won't go back, and that you're not even trying to figure out what you wanna do right now?
I know how the pressure is for these things, my mom wasn't the happiest when I told her I was taking some time off (I'm going back in january most likely) But she knew really, it wasn't her choice. It's mine, I'm going to school, I'm pretty much paying. She knows that I know I have to or I won't get anywhere, so she's kind of laid off now. But like I said, maybe they just feel you're not even trying to figure what it is you want to go into. And they think that if you're going to school you might be able to find it better? Or at least get some sort of certificate or something so you can work that and figure something later. Or maybe even they haven't done enough for their retirement and they're getting paranoid and want you to have a high paying job so you can support them when they're old? Hahah (not too serious about this one, hehehe) Have you told them you want to figure what you want first? And that you think it's a waste of money to just go now? Maybe have a talk with them?? Good luck.. =]
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Feb 23, 03
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ooh..the pressure...i really needed and wanted a break..i took last semester off...and started in january...but i never even told my parents i wasn't going to go to school...it was my choice not theirs...but also because they would have freaked out at me..i ended up pretending to apply to all the schools..i filled out applications but i never sent any of them...so there was nothing they could do to get me into a school by the time they found out..
but yeah..talk to ur parents..they're just worried about you and want you to be well off in the future..i hope they come to understand how u feel and look at the situation..and if worse comes to worse...do wut i did..don't register for any courses?..=P
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Feb 23, 03
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dont let your parents force/pressure you in your choice of post secondary. you are the one who knows best in what you want to do in the future. if you have no clue at all...i suggest you to take a few general studies classes and research up on ure interests and see what ure strengths are and shoot for it. taking a few p/t classes does not hurt...education is always good.
personally im the first in my family tree to not attend university..im not proud of it, but i know its the best for me. arts is the side im strong at and since i was 12 ive been facinated with advertisement so im goin all out for that in college. i get that huge family pressure to attend ubc like every damn chinese person...but i refuse. its my education.. and i should choose whats best for myself. and if they did force me to go ubc, i would not be able to succeed, because i wont have the interest in it. seriously..look around the web or some career books...there are TONS of careers out there that take specific education to get into.. see what you like and decide for yourself. argue with ure parents, ignore your parents...do whatever it takes. interest is a big part in learning. my lil 2 bits...
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Feb 23, 03
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1st: If you want your parents to stop pressuring then you have to start by moving out on your own. That way they can't pull the: "You live under my roof, my rules!" bullshit on you.
2nd: If you are trying to decide what to do then take either first year general arts or first year general sciences. That will give you a bit of a feel for what is out there as far as courses go. 3rd: Listen to Bebu and DON'T go to UBC...It is a crappy school as far as what you take away in quality of education...Try a smaller university or college...UBC is like the FUBU of schools...you're just paying for the name.
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Feb 23, 03
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If you don't know what to do, then go to a college. That way, you can dive into all sorts of subject areas until you find what you really want to do- and you waste a lot less money. (I feel it's better to go to a university when you have a more clear idea of what you want to do..)
Taking time off school can be tempting...however, I know a lot of people who take breaks who take too long to go back and regret it in the end.
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Feb 23, 03
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Cheryl don't worry about it we all love you........don't worry about your parents....mine did the same and they still do............i think its just a parent thing so just ignore them...............have you told them you don't know what you want to do yet????cause maybe if you do they will lay off
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Feb 23, 03
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if ubc has a program that relates to design... i wouldn't even hesitate. im just not that sciencey, language lit kinda person, so im passing on it. see whats good for YOU.. and keep your options open. even though its kinda like paying to have ubc on ure resume... sad to say having UBC on ure resume will actually have ppl hiring you.
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Feb 23, 03
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We all have to remember as well that parents tend to think old'skool style and aren't really that up with the times as they are today.
Appreciating that, educate them. Do the leg work and research on a program say like FunFun is taking... present it to them... present them with the facts that with this being the area you want to go into, that a Diploma is actually more beneficial than a degree. I interview people every week with Masters Degree's hell, just last week I interviewed a guy with a PhD. It doesn't mean you will get a job any time sooner. Peace.
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Feb 23, 03
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i understand how you feel. i'm going through this sorta thing too right now. after high school, my rents were asking me all sorts of questions about where i want to go and what i wanted to do. seriously....i didn't know what i wanted to do. i just chose some school which happened to be away from home and left. now everytime i'm back, i get pressured into more questions about if i am coming back to study or not. i still don't know what i want to do yet either. they always say they'll support me about what school i want to attend but then i bring up this one school and my dads like no i don't want u to go there. like what the?? u just said u'd support me??
i just think that you should do what YOU want to do and not ur parents. yeah they may want u to go here but in ur heart do u really wanna waste ur time at some school ur not interested in? take the time to think about it and when u decide, tell ur rents what u've decided. they may not like it but at least u r wanting to go to school. don't just take ne thing to make them happy, make urself happy with what u've decided. i hope this helped a bit?? take care and good luck!!
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Feb 23, 03
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Some thoughts...
One - It always amazes me when people say that they are old/mature enough to make their own decisions, but then turn around and haven't been able to decide what they are interested in. "I don't know if I like this, and I don't wanna take it unless I am" - why not try it and find out? Especially when (if I interpret your post correctly) your 'rents are there paying for it. You're lucky to have the luxury to explore the unknown on their dime - a lot of peeps have to make that decision with very large financial burdens looming over them as well. Two - They may be afraid that you will lose an interest or desire to learn - everyone, your parents included, has friends who were going to go back to school but never quite managed to. Three - Maybe they recognize that what you learn is somewhat secondary to that that you are learning at all. A group of my university friends realized that we all had computer related jobs, despite the fact that none of us had degrees dealing with computers or programming. Except for one person, who does have a programming degree - he teaches English in Taiwan - totally non-computer related job. His brother, who has a law degree, lives in Taiwan and used to teach as well, until recently when he bought/opened a bar. Being able to learn can be more valuable than what is taught.
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Feb 23, 03
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Feb 23, 03
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oh man I know what you're going through all too well.
My parents are willing to pay for my education. I am hella lucky, and at the same time I didn't want to jump straight to education right away. My parents wanted me to go to university at all costs whether or not I knew what the hell I was doing, and I felt, and even feel now to this day, that it is such a waste of money. I feel like I'm taking pointless courses for no reason. I don't even intend on staying at SFU to complete my four years. Knowing this my parents insisted that I go to university anyway. However, going to university helped me narrow down my interests a bit.. "university experience" is something worth trying if that oppurtunity is right there infront of you. Perhaps your parents fear, like mine, that you're going to have a hard time getting back into the groove of school if you take time off, and they don't want you to end up struggling through life. You also have to consider that what they've been through in their own lives may be influencing how they feel about yours. My dad for example, is especially anal about university because he had to work his ass off to get his Urban Land Economics degree in UBC. He immigrated from japan, speaking-not-so-perfect english, he worked a low paying job and had to pay his own way through university without a student loan. He went from working at a gas station to becoming a realtor... from what he's been through, i think its understandable that it's hard for him to comprehend why one wouldn't grasp the oppurtunity for a free education if it's right infront of them. If you REALLY want to take time off, then you should talk to your parents, and tell them EXACTLY what you plan to do, and how you plan to do it. I think your parents just want to know that you're going to be okay. Talking to them about your concerns about your future will help put things into perspective for you, and for them. If they play a part in paying for your education, then you owe it to them to let them in on your plans. Last edited by yoko*; Feb 23, 03 at 11:56 PM.
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Feb 24, 03
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Thanks guyz, that really helps. Yeah I've talked 2 them a bit about it. They know I'm old enough 2 make my decisions and that I will go back cuz that's the type of person I am. But I dunno, it's mostly my Dad. He likes things 2 happen rite away and I mean I just don't wanna get in2 classes I'm nto interested in again. That's y I took this semester off and r lookign around at my options, I just wish he'd understand.
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Feb 24, 03
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in UBC for undergraduate levels, they make you learn the material mostly by yourself. if you dont do the readings and assignments, you're fucked for the midterms and finals. but if you miss the lectures, you can still get by fine. people i know who have gone to langara from ubc say that everything is alot easier because the education system is better (and i think its designed for people who arnt as quick learners) but hey sorry prissypants but i gotta say this. if you think ubc has a crappy education system, it's because you're not bright enough to keep up with it.
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Feb 25, 03
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when my parents pressured me into going into college/university, I was straight with them.
I told them that there was no point cause where I was at the time, I would not have worked hard and it would have wasted their time. I told them that I really wanted to work and "be out in the world" before I started school again. Sit them down by the table and talk about it. You'll probably talk about it for a while but you should try to come up with valid points as to why you shouldn't be going to school at the moment. Don't walk away from anger though, if you do that you cut the lines of communication and no progress will be made.
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