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| Mind and Body Ask for advice or offer some. Keep it work safe clean. |
| View Poll Results: Did I over react? | |||
| over react |
   
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6 | 37.50% |
| no |
  
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10 | 62.50% |
| Voters: 16. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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Apr 26, 03
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Over reacting or not?
SO im at a party with my very drunk boyfriend- i see him talking to this chik and try not to make it look like im lookin- the next thing i know it "looks" like they are kissin- i get hella pissed and jump into the middle of them- she comes back at me with, "oh- Im sorry- I didnt know he had a girlfriend-" I m ready to punch the bitch- or him- so i turn and run out of the party-
Boy follows me out- explains that they were just talking and can't believe that i dont trust him- did i over react? Or should i never trust anyone- because the penis thinks more than the male brain? and even if they really didnt do anything- than why am i still thinking about it so much? 
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Apr 26, 03
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Unless you're sure he was kissing her you're over reacting.
If they were just talking you come across as a hardcore jealous girfriend. I have lots of girlfriends and if my partner had a problem with that then there would be trouble. A HUGE part of a relationship is trust!
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Apr 26, 03
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Why should she have to apologize to you if she had no reason to? Talking to another human being when you're in a relationship is fine... but I think if they were kissing, you should be more pissed off at your bf than the girl. She has no responsibilities to your feelings, she has no obligations to you, but in a sense, he does. So if he let the "kiss" go by without mentioning anything to her about you, or pushing her away...
shouldn't you be more pissed off at him? Knowing is better than assuming (obviously), don't let them rule and dictate your life, they'll often lead you to conclusions that are false and can ruin your relationship. On another note, if I found my bf kissing another girl, I'd cut his lips off. But I'm not the jealous type of course... :hehe:
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Apr 26, 03
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Apr 26, 03
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Even if he was, it is only a kiss...holy over reacting... :soak:
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Apr 27, 03
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Either way, I think that jumping up and yelling at the two of them isn't the best, or healthiest way to handle this situation. Making sure that they WERE kissing might be an idea for step one in this situation. If they weren't, which by the sounds of it was the case, the girl, and surrounding people, probably think you are a complete psycho for losing it because her b/f is associating with a member of the opposite sex (whic when done in a friendly manner, is simply human nature and should/does happen on a regular basis). And as you've already witnessed happen, your b/f will be disapointed/upset/angry/insulted that you can't trust him and thats a big problem in a relationship. Don't think that I don't blame you for being mad at the sight of, or what looks like, your b/f cheating on you. But freaking out, especially in the middle of public is not how to handle it. It's easier said than done, controlling yourself if your b/f kissing another girl is a huge no no in your books; but if you were sure (after further inspection) that he -was/is- making out with the girl simply interrupt their makeout fest, & inform the girl that his GIRLFRIEND needs to talk with him. Haul him outside to deal with it there, at least slightly calm and possibly... hopefully, like adults (especially if you are, or will be adults soon. If you are young and still learning the ropes this may not be likely to happen). You're obviously going to be pissed off at the girl too, but it is possible that she truly had no clue he was taken and he is the one you should concentrate the blame on. The fact you freaked out that easily, that badly, over a kiss is a big sign that you need to sit back and think about (not obsess over), and possibly talk to your b/f about, how the trust is in the relationship, or any personal insecurities that could have created this and any other paranoid and/or untrusting problems you might have now and in the future. Past relationships can mess you up badly (trust me, I know that first hand) but you have to learn to be careful but at the same time, not overly possesive and irrational. Beleive it or not, not EVERYONE is out to fuck you over. It might take you a while to find this person, but you could also lose them if you are blinded by your obsession in turn oblivious of this persons authentic fidelty towards you. On the other hand, you may have every right to not trust the guy you are with. If that truly is the case then you have to realize that trust is one of the most fundamental parts needed for a successful relationship. If he is giving you numerous, rational (not made up or delusional), reasons to feel that you can't, or never will, be able to trust him; then you shouldn't waste your time with him, or worrying about the things he did or didn't do. Sorry I'm rambling on, I could go on forever when it comes to trust in relationships. But I can't stress how important it is to have, and that you need to figure out what is causing this issue and how both you individually, and your b/f & as you as a couple, are going to deal with the problem. If he can't change and/or prove to you that he can be trusted then leaving him and finding someone that honestly can would deffinately be best for you or anyone. And if it is you subconsciously making it up in your head for reasons that really don't have anything directly to do with your current b/f; other than the fact that he is male (reminding you of any negative past experiences with them, or anyone you were in a relationship with and hurt you), and has the power to hurt you if, in fact, he was like the others; then you are the one that has to deal with that. Your b/f can only be true to you, help you realize that he is, and be patient. It may be something that you have to work out completely on your own. I had severe trust issues and anxieties that could not be changed or fixed in the middle of a relationship because I was in the middle of freaking out and obsessing over the same things. It took me a long time after gradually working things out on my own to get the strength and ability to (slowly) let anyone too far into my life and my heart. -Especially- any potential romantic interests. So don't idle and obsess over what you can't change, talk to your b/f and take time to think about how your relationship works (or doesn't work), and how your head works while in relatioships. Then how you are going to deal with it. Obsessing over it this event will only make you go crazy, and nothing will ever get accomplished that way!
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Apr 28, 03
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first off did you ask him if they kissed or she kissed him? second if it was realy that inocent then would she had been even worried about the fact that she didnt know he had a boyfriend? And if your boyfriend has nothing to worry about then even though he may have a problem with you not trusting him he should be open to share with you what they were talking about so closely with eachother. I'm assuming he did not know the girl before as well. But its hard to know because everything is circumstantial. but yah drunk boyfriends and girls that dont yet "know that he had a girlfriend" can be trouble.
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Apr 28, 03
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-but- i didn't. and we havent really talked about it since then. I do trust him- or want to- but i get this sick to my stomach feeling when ever i think about him actually kissing that other girl. I dont think he did- but it sure as hell looked like it. I leared from this little experience- don't make me mad- i dont remember parts of what happened- and i was sober- i was really pissed off, and yet didnt yell or scream- i just stayd quiet and wanted to hit something- hmmm. anger management. hehe- "im a big bad girlie- dont mess wif me" hehehe peace (heh) megs
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Apr 29, 03
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keep in mind he was really really really DRUNK
but i really dont think he did it- but he is the kind of person that can drink enough that he doesnt remember things. maybe i should classify alchohlic into a different catigory and let their actions be ignored when they are realy drunk- because they are almost a different person. ;) :soak:
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May 08, 03
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May 26, 03
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May 27, 03
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Holy fuck, if your dating someone, you dont go kissing others, unless your a swinger or something. If I caught my baby kissing someone else I wouldnt even let em try to explain and they wouldnt even know I knew cause from that point on they dont excist to me n e more. I could see if it was a friend and a friendly peck on the lips thats cool but some chick he jus met at a party NOT COOL! But yah if he really wasnt kissing her then u need to chill out!
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May 28, 03
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ahh we all over react at some point!!
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May 28, 03
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I would think, whatever the truth may be, its a sketchy sitch & there is no getting around that.
Im not gonna try and be the judge of this one, but I do wanna say that... honey, you have honestly got-to-be one of the sweetest and kind-hearted girls on the fuckin' planet, just dont let yourself get hurt darlin'. ::blows a kiss::
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May 28, 03
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i think that its natural for you to do what u did i mean i would do the same thing its not like u dont trust him its that u dont trust her.
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May 28, 03
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Exactly u can't always trust chicks when it comes to guys!
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