my dad is really sick!

Skitzo_Style · #1 (**permalink**) Jul 06, 03

last night, i was about to head off to go see my buddy, when my dad asked me to stay with him throught the night.

at first, this seemed kinda weird to me, but later on, he told me that if he got any more sick, he would have to go to the hospital.

this worried me a bit, but no big deal, he was diagnosed with hepitiais C 3 years ago, so didn't think much of it.

you see, my dad is 52 years old, been living with this disease for god knows how long now, and his body cannot handle the treatment anymore.He was on Disability, and the company he worked for took away all of his benifits!!! because of this, my father had to go back to work, regardless of the fact he is unbelievably sick.

and today, he goes to the doctor to find out that he's now got Phenomena, the same thing that my grandmother (his mom) passed away from in the winter of 2000.

i have a 5 year old sister and a 2 year old sister that are going to grow up without their father in their lives.

i write this for all of the goddamn posts about people wanting to commit suicide. my dad wants to live, but he not going to be able to for much longer.

so stop writing all of this fucking bullshit about wanting to kill yourselves! yes, i know life is hard, but will eventually get better!!! it's YOU that makes the desicsion wether or not it you WANT it to get better! my dad wants to live, but he doesn't have a choice!

YOU HAVE THE FUCKING CHOICE! SO LIVE FOR FUCK SAKE!!! :369:

i hope i haven't offended anyone, and i'm sorry if i have, but this is the way it has to come out.

anyways, i through typing about my bullshit. i got what i wanted off my chest.

MistressSpankME · #2 (**permalink**) Jul 06, 03

I'm really sorry to hear that... And, by the sounds of it the company that took away his benefiots shouldn't have, have you reported them or taken them to court? He really should not be working, that is just not fair.

And I think you make a great point, being alive is deffinately a gift. There are people out there that want to live, love to live and live to the fullest, but have no choice but to lose the life they love so much. Suicide just isn't the answer, especially when its just typical teenage stuff someone is suffering from. And don't get me wrong, I've been depressed myself, VERY depressed. I've had thoughts of death/suicide, but more along the lines of me just falling asleep and never waking up. But I would never take my own life, there are people that love me and need me in their lives. It would only be selfish to take myself away from them. You're lucky enough to be alive and well, don't puss out before you get through your depression and realize there really are positive things in life worth living for (like I did). Taking your life for granted is not cool when there are other people that would chose living over dying any day, but don't have any choice.

Skitzo_Style · #3 (**permalink**) Jul 06, 03

thanks jenna.

he doesn't have the energy (nor the money) to do so. he has 2 little girl to take care of.

cinist · #4 (**permalink**) Jul 08, 03

sorry andrew, i luv ya dawg....keep y0 head up...those kids are lucky as hell to have you as a brother, you are definatly commited to them and treat them great!
you know that if anyone is going to understand the pain of terminal illness in the family it's me....if you ever need to talk about it, we're together everyday y0! let it out

mugsy · #5 (**permalink**) Jul 08, 03

i understand, my dad is sick as well, we almost lost him at one point. it pulled alot of shit into reality for me, and showed me how stupid some people really can be. i never knew how lucky i was to grow up with two parents until i almost lost one. i realized how i took my dad fro granted in alot of ways.

about the work thing i dont know if you can take them to court if you could because of health plans and all that jazz. they give you a certain amount of time that you can be sick before they can terminate you, and you slowly get paid less and less percentage. its all about contracts, and its totally injust but kinda justified in a sense that someone who is terminally ill can't be on sick leave until they pass on. i think they are only allowing my dad a year with cancer, he's hoping to only need seven months off though.

i wish the best for your family. stay strong.

cinist · #6 (**permalink**) Jul 08, 03

(Steve Talking)

I didnt know this andrew. I am sorry to hear this. I love yah dogg, you know there is nothing you can do but be suportive(which you do very well). We miss you here andrew, wish you were here, you would have a blast.

rawb · #7 (**permalink**) Jul 08, 03

i've been through it with my mother, and i can say it's probably the hardest thing ever. even more than the potential horrible outcome, the worst is the *not knowing whats going to happen*.

Skitzo_Style · #8 (**permalink**) Jul 09, 03

steve and shannon... thanks!! you my dawgs till the day i die!!

i luv u guys!!!

the reason i wrote this wasen't to recieve sympathy about the subject, but more as a message to all of the suicidal people out there that post about it: don't take life for granted, yours or anyone elses!

live life to the best that you can, and your time to pass into the next life will come when the time is right, and just to let you know, that time is not up to you, or any other person.

Jrock · #9 (**permalink**) Jul 09, 03

Hey Andrew... take care bud. We all struggle day to day with problems that are beyond our control. All we can do is hope for the best and if things come down to it, be strong for those who can't. I'll always there for ya bud!!