You call this a life?

[sNyx]

Okay, I'm do fed up! I have had such a bad week, its one thing after another. School? School is a waste I'm being FORCED to retake classes where I know the fucken shit then shoved down my throat, but because I didn't meet there fucken curriculum on work to PROVE I knew it, I do it again, that's just fucken trash! Oh, but that's my problem for the next HALF A YEAR! I can't find work, nothing, and the little money I just made? GONE! But this week alone, its been horrible! Like on Tuesday, I'm planning to go to the internet conference I have been waiting for MONTHS to go to, and my buddy from Seattle I was suppose to go with bails on me, leaving me in a HOOP, I tried to pull some quick shit, but I got screwed on a few favors I tired called in, oh well ya get used to it. Thursday? Mom runes my FAVORITE piece of clothing my F&K hoodie. Then like what the fuck, just today, I FINALLY get paid $300 for work I did, I been needing this money for WEEKS, and what happens? OH telus hits me for $130 of that at lunch, then, I'm like well at least I have some cash, nope! I owe my buddy $160 so like I have to pay him. WTF! Then, then I go to work with my dad, I work my ass off, no cash there! So now, I come home, and nobody wants to do anything, everyone has something to do but me! I get the "sorry you should have asked 10 mins ago" fucken TWICE! This weekend, I don't have any plans, NONE! Nobody is home, and I might as well LEAVE the fucken door locked until Sunday night, I THINK I WILL! Then after my week of hell, and a Friday of shit, I'm sitting at home making my only thing of hope, pizza. Then what, I go to take it out of the oven, and FLIP! yupp, now I have nothing, I was so shocked, so depressed, so everything hit me at once, I just fell there, sitting on the floor in my kitchen. FUCK, and there is SO, SO, SO much more, but I just, I just don't wanna type anymore. So now what? I'm here, hungry, alone, cold, and using what little energy I have left to type before I drag myself to bed, and hope I never have to wake up to this life.

and some people wonder why I do drugs.

Myles

[bob]

snyxman... bob's always here for ya, to get u hammered or whatever... i SERIOUSLY don't do drugs anymore, so i can't hook u up with your fix anymore... but anyways...

it's all part of life... u haven't even seen the half of it man, trust me... but it sucks that ur getting fucked with bills already... but man, u gotta step up to the plate sometimes, and take a good swat at money. it's not everything, sure it'll buy u nice things, and whatever, but u don't need it... so u got a bunch of bills, just fuck them off and don't worry about your line of credit... you're not at that age where u have to worry anyways...

and man, school... as fuckin' shitty as the place is, and how the system STILL doesn't cater to true intelligence, it's always gonna be that way... it's a whole social upbringing thing, and if u let it get the best of you, you're not gonna overcome it... it'd be pretty shitty to see u on the cover of a newspaper "anti-social computer dweeb with small penis and dirty underwear found dead in janitor closet. police are investigating. no foul play is suspected"... just finish school and never look back on it...

and snyxman, i know i'm giving u gay motherly advice, barely even that... i would be at ur house startin' shit with your cat right now, and disecting your computer and whatnot, smokin' with u on that sacred bench of yours and peeing on that stupid pole (i still have a picture of u pissing on that pole).. but i'm packin' boxes and shit right now... tearin' my bed apart at the moment, not like i ever used it anyways... when i get settled in somewhere, u'll be the first one to put a hole in the wall, i'll reserve a nice soft spot on the drywall for ya...

don't worry bout this weekend man... everyone has a shitty weekend every now and then... try to make the best of it... do something constructive... or destructive if u've got the energy...

[Cowboy]

i find its so much easier to give advice than to actually take it......especially if hte same shit ur preaching relates to what u bitch about....but fuck whatever.....

sometimes u jus gotta roll with the punches....one day....ull have some company that some dork will wanna buy from ya and then maybe ull get a whack of cash to be able to better conserve ur efforts towards relaxation and the pursuit of pure sensual bliss.....but ull be bored and then ull look back at the good ol days when u had to scrounge for cash to make ends meet and all u did was work....wait a second.....thats so not gonna happen.......ur not gonna look back on this fondly.....who the fuck am i kidding......fuck....that shit sucks man.........

here's my advice i guess...............meh.........

corrie

[stabmyhead]

YES... dreaded teenage angst... we all harbour a lot of it. life sucks, and then you die... well not much to say about that..

life is just a repeative cycle of an ongoing desire to be better, for the "higher life", acknowledgment, fame, love, and all that fancy spancy stuff that probably never will come to some of us. learn to not expect much and then when lil things come your way, you'll be happy. well i should learn to take my own advice.

this is my situation, due to my desire for perfection i have to retake grade 12 all over again, i left at around term 2, showed up a couple of times, entirely missed out my whole term 3 and the provincials.. i get my report card and i barely failed.. at the most, i failed by 15% or something like that.. but whatever. i'd rather do good than barely at all.. i havent been able to find work, fuck. im 18 years old and the only place ive worked is at my aunts place in winnipeg and i was more so running around like an idiot than anything. myles you complain about life too much. just sit back and enjoy the ride, "let the good times roll" -- you focus on all these lil things that you cant control that you lose focus and sight, you're a smart kid. now act it.

BTW: you never icq me anymore, im not on your elite list of ppl you talk to on icq, i have less of a life than you do so blah to you, im not complaining.

RARRRRRRRRRRARARARARARARARARRRRRRARRRRAR ARARARARRARARAAAA

.stabitout.

[yoko*]

yeahh.......

school does suck.. but the system isn't gonna change for any of us so i've learned that u juss gotta live with it.. it's harsh, yes, there are alot of things wrong with it, but I guess they have to make rules that apply for the majority of the population....that's how it always is.. majority rules..

Now if the system were to analyze every one's situation and apply rules for every single person's life (that would be nice though) then there would be more rules than the actual population of the whole freakin high school :)

Rules can be bent here n there for some people, but as much as they do suck, we kinda gotta live with wut we're handed... no worries it's just a few more years left... You don't have to make school everything juss... as much as it sucks, do the best you can with it...

unfortunately, any system isn't gonna change for one wo/man, one wo/man has to change for the system..

sucks doesn't it?

I used to go against the school too.. grade 11 was my worst year... terms 1-3 I kinda got caught up into partying.. big mistake.. I totally fucked up in school and I'm lucky enough that I pulled up my marks some way some how last term, n passed the year.. It's never too late to change though.. after all, they say that grade 12 is your most important year..

Realizing that no one was gonna change for me, and i was gonna have to chage for myself, I did, and i'm doing quite well in school now.. I guess it's just a fact of life that you can't take in everything at once,and you have to make sacrifices for the best interest of urself...I guess it's all about priorities... i dunno..
------------------
about relying on drugs? trust me. drugs don't make it any better.. it only makes it worse.. wow how many times has every one heard this line before? but it's true though. drugs only give ou that temporary happiness and out of the world-ness... but only leaves you feeling crappier in the end... Maybe you should consider stopping and going sober... i promise, just try it for 3 months or so and you'll feel so much better about yourself... I'm not joking. I've been drug-free (besides coffee) for over 3 months now and I feel much better... if it weren't for that then I would still be as bitter and pessimistic about everything...(bitterness and pessimism doesn't completely go away though, because it's some what a part of my personality though. heh..)

mehhh but i kinda understand your crappy day... sometimes the smallest piss-offs just sort of build up into on big explosion and your sort of just break down... just know that these moments pass.. they do they do...


sorry to go off-topic...
hope it all works out for every one.