control.

mugsy · #1 (**permalink**) Jan 05, 04

i realize i still live at home and im damn lucky for it. i am in school full time, and i dont really see it as being smart to move out until im done my two year course. however i am at an age where i should have more freedom then a 14 year old... it also seems that i no longer can make my own decisions.

yes i could stand up and be like "fuck you guys im goin" but ive been taught to not disrespect my parents in that way, and i jsut cant do it. i push more and more but it never seems like enough.

mothers and daughters should not live together when the mother is in menopause and the daughter is a young lady.

i have proven myself again and again to them, and its not that i should have to either.

im sick of it. does anyone know a way out other then move out? i have sat down and talked to them, i have pushed them by just not coming home.

but everything i do seems to dissapear the next day, every upward step seems to be forgotten and im sick of it interfearing with other places in my life.

basically i need a step by step plan on how to be able to get my parents off my ass and allow me to be myself. (meaning i would like to be able to go out when i would like to - i do tell them where i am and i have a cell phone they can reach me at)

maybe im the crazy one i donno.
whatever the case, im goin out tonight.

crackdragon · #2 (**permalink**) Jan 05, 04

Hmm sounds like when I lived at home. What I did was just ignore them and all there bitching. Listen but then ignore. They are just probably worried about you and have no clue as to how to show it other then being anal and controlling. Some people you just cant deal with in a diplomatic way. Eventually they will clue in and give up. Maybe see about getting a loan and then move out. Free is definetly so much better though, and sucking it up can save you mucho bling.

ebbomega · #3 (**permalink**) Jan 05, 04

You paying rent?

That usually decides who makes rules.

c.tard · #4 (**permalink**) Jan 05, 04

Quote:

Originally posted by mugsy
mothers and daughters should not live together when the mother is in menopause and the daughter is a young lady.

that is too true. especially if you aren't close with your mother, like me. and things are even worse when you pms. horrible times.

i don't have much advice, my parents just sort of gave up after my sister, but good luck.

mugsy · #5 (**permalink**) Jan 05, 04

yah man my brother didnt carve the way at all... he just stayed home all the time... we are complete opposites in that sense.

no i dont pay rent and i understand that i should follow their rules and believe me i do... there are jsut some things like curfew and shit that i have an issues with.

oh boy.

cinist · #6 (**permalink**) Jan 06, 04

i never understood the whole curfew thing, im not sure if i ever had one. i think you should just do whatever you please, you must be atleast 19 right? how can they tell you that you cant go out?

mugsy · #7 (**permalink**) Jan 06, 04

yah im at least 19... and i agree. i jsut dont see what they are preventing. and i dont lie i tell them where i am, if im gonna be drinking and so on.

i honestly believe its just the menopause\young lady clash of the titans. my dad pushes me outta teh house tells me to go have fun.... hes a fricken normal person an its why hes my hero.

cinist · #8 (**permalink**) Jan 06, 04

my moms is in menopause i think and she keeps trying to kick me out on my ass and then apoligizing

its a rollercoaster with these old woman im telling you

c.tard · #9 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

^ my mom is just starting on that, and it's bad already.

the scary part is one day we'll be like that too. ahhh..

Cdn_Brdr · #10 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

Their roof their rules..... sad but true.

This is the story of every teen ever... I hate my parents, they control me... If you want to change it you move out.

Chet · #11 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

or just keep going out till they get the hint
what are they going to do? Ground you?
if so then just keep leaving and doing what you want
thats how I did it
or just stay home one night and have a bunch of rowdy friends over to drink, get drunk
that should give them a shock

Jingles · #12 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

poor menopausal moms..they have no control over their hormones..just like you when you were like 15...have some freakin sympathy -- I bet they lived through your hormone crisis

now live through hers.

mugsy · #13 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

^ i do love my mom and i do follow her rules and she is in the middle of menopause, i have been dealing with since the mere age of 15.... she has actually said "i know i have some control over it, but i'd much rather jsut take it out on everyone else then keep it in."

she refuses to do anything about the menopause. i promise my unborn children that i will leave during mine.....

it may seem like i am over reacting and i dont respect\love my parents, however i am not the only one noticing them. if i was i would sit down and see if i was the one being that horomonal cow, and sometimes i know i am and i admit it and apologize. i do everything i can for my parents, the past year they have actually needed me instead of me needing them. and after a year of doing that i feel that i deserve a little more freedom then "be home at 1 am"

c.tard · #14 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

my mom never lived through my hormone crisis. i got in trouble for being moody, unhappy or anything like that even if there was a genuine reason and it wasn't just hormones. she didn't deal with it, she wouldn't even let me learn to deal with it any other way then hide it from the entire world. now i just don't think it's fair she takes everything out on me.
i love her, i understand how fucked up hormones can make you feel, but you still have some control. and she should understand some of that by now.

i think the worst about it all is knowing that at her age i'll be going through the same thing. :\

mugsy · #15 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

^ here here! gooo cheryl.

my mom is going through super early menopause, so i will be a little bit older and possibly my kids willl have fled the nest by then.

cyberdog · #16 (**permalink**) Jan 07, 04

Back in the days of living at home I don't think I ever had a curfew...so long as they knew where I was in general there weren't any concerns. They knew my friends and in some cases their parents.
There was a basic, unspoken understanding that if I was mature enought to look after the "important" responsabilities in my life (i.e. school) than I should certainly be able to be trusted to look after the other areas of my life.