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Mar 16, 04
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Parents and their influence....
I was just pondering what kind of role do your parents play in ur relationship with ur gf/bf. Do you listen to a certain point, fully or not at all. If your parents said u couldnt see them anymore would u listen or simply tell them to fuck off.
Voice ur opinion. :smoke1: 
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Mar 16, 04
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if my parents were to voice a concern about my relationship i would definately take what they say into consideration because i know they're just concerned about my well being. my parents let me date who i want, so long as they treat me well. they know my relationships are my choice and as long as i'm happy, then it's fine. so if they were worried about something and approached me about it, i know it would be a genuine concern. [like if they suspected my bf was abusing me or something]
my parents know how it is when your parents don't approve of your relationship. my mom's parents never liked my dad simply because he wasn't rich. they never took into consideration how he treats her, or how much he loves her, it all boiled down to money [or lack of]. they went for it all anyways, got married and 27 laters their still together and happy. Last edited by charly; Mar 16, 04 at 04:00 PM.
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Mar 16, 04
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^ i agree..anything they would say i woudl take into consideration but i wouldnt let them choose who i were to go out with or if they told me to break up with somebody i wouldnt do it because its my own choice and they know that, but much like charly's reply my parents arent the type of ppl to tell me to stop dating sum1 unless they really thougth there was a seroius problem with us where breaking up would be the best solution:kimmie:
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Mar 16, 04
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My mom would never have the nerve nor the lack of respect for me to stick her nose into my business. The only thing she has ever done is say that she was concerned for my feelings, but that I needed to make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes. If she ever were to "tell me" I couldn't see my boyfriend, I'd tell her to fuck right off, literally. It's quite honestly none of her business.
However, I know what it's like to be the girlfriend that the family/sibling dislikes because my boyfriend chose to spend the plethora of his time with me versus his family. They blamed me for his decisions - some people just don't understand that there's no need to point fingers and blame. Sometimes, things are just the way they are and there's no real rhyme or reason for it, and nothing you can do to change it. It's like, the sun rises in the East and sets in the West...sure if you turn around and face South it looks like it's the other way around, and you could lie to yourself, but it would be pointless because the situation is beyond anyone's control. If your parents don't like your girlfriend, tell them to mind their own business unless they have a serious, rational concern regarding her (ie. she's a drug addict, she abuses you, etc) and they come to you in a mature, loving and understanding matter. What you need to say is, "Mom, Dad, you clearly haven't given (insert gf's name here) a chance and I think it's really unfair that you're passing judgemet on her. I'm sure that if you knew her the way that I know her, you'd understand why I feel the way I do about her and why she is my girlfriend." You could go on to say that they can't control you, and if you are making a mistake, it's fine and dandy because the only way people learn any really important lessons in this life is by making mistakes. Also, you could tell them that you realize that they are entitled to their opinions, but that they should first be educated before they make a decision about their feelings toward your girlfriend. This is all assuming that the reason you posted this was because of problems you have with them regarding her. If you want any advice, PM me. I've been there =)
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Mar 16, 04
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I think at my age my mom would feel a little silly telling me I couldn't date someone. If she had something to say I'd definately take it into consideration though.
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Mar 16, 04
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My Parents have never told me not to go out with a guy before, they never have and probably never would (unless it was a really unhealthy relationship). My dad has never liked any of my sisters or my boyfriends but i guess that is simply for the fact that we are his little girls. And no if my parents told me to break up with a guy i wouldnt do it, but i would take into consideration why my parents were so upset about my relationship. :kimmie:
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Mar 16, 04
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similar to cheryl's story....
my parents got married with a lot of opposition from my mother's side of the family, so much that they disowned her for a period of time... Perhaps partly because of their own struggles their views with regards to relationships (mine and my sister's) is that we should be with whomever we want so long as we're happy.. Forunately, despite what my bf thinks, I'm certain that my parents like him (though I've never really asked, or felt the need to).. They mention/ask about him more often than I do in the home, and my mom always says that he has a cute baby face :p ... I guess I can see how parents' opinions may hold greater importance to me as I grow older.. it seems that that's the case with all other things. I realize more and more that my parents really DO know wtf they're talking about.. (about most issues) Last edited by yoko*; Mar 16, 04 at 04:25 PM.
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Mar 16, 04
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They just leave my relationship decisions up to me most of the time. My dad likes to make fun of my bfs from time to time. which can be frustrating, or funny. But finaly he found one he actualy likes. first time Ive ever heard he seems good for you not he looks like a drug dealer lol.
my mom she just wants me to be happy. she has said enough over the years that I already know. But she is there when i need advice or someone to talk to. Pretty much what I got from her is don't get to wound up in the romance fase although fun will always come to an end. And make sure the sex it good. And it doesnt matter who they are as long as they make me happy. My dad wants them to be self sufficient though. not a "bum" as he puts it. no pressure from mom some from dad. But that I can laugh off. They influence who I am today and so in a way also what type of person I decide to be with. They kinda just let me do my thing when i'm dating someone.
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Mar 16, 04
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how old is this girl?
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Mar 17, 04
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My mom will tell me if she likes the guys I've brought home or not. Even when she hates them she's never tried to make me end a relationship. She knows it's my life and my happiness. I'm the one dating said boy not her. She used to bug me about dating a younger guy and that she was concerned he didn't love me the way she thought I loved him but that's pretty much it.
My dad never says much of anything about my love life. If I bring a guy home dad will joke around with them (not that they can understand him half the time... my dad mumbles and has a very strong english accent). Oh ya and he likes to embarass me :soak: I've been in situations where the boys parents don't like me. It's usually because I'm very shy, never talk and keep to myself. They label me as having no personality and rude. In the two situations that this has happened we didn't really let it affect our relationship that much. Sure there are the occasional arguments about me having to be more talkative but that's about it. I believe that if you truly love someone and they truly love you in return that nothing can keep you apart. I've had friends, family members, random people try to break up a relationship for ages and through it all we've stuck together because we know we have something immensely special. Enough of my sap talk tho...
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Mar 17, 04
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The worst my parents have done is try to make it really difficult for me to see someone that they didn't approve of. My dad is more vocal than my mom about it too, calling them "losers" and stuff...This happened when I was younger, and when you're like, 17/18 you want to be "mature" enough to make your own decisions about whom you date (even if they ARE a "loser"). You don't want to hear from mom and dad their opinions.
They really like my bf now, though. When I call my mom she always asks how he's doing and what he's up to, and my dad jokes around with him and asks me what's up like my mom does. I also know that his parents like and approve of me. I really wasn't sure about his dad for a long time until his step-mom told Nelson that she and his dad approved, and I KNOW his mom LOVES me. It's good to know that everyone approves all around. :kimmie:
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Mar 17, 04
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^ yeah for sure
There's a huge difference between not liking your child's significant other because of their personality, the way they treat you, etc, and "I don't like him 'cause he's (insert race here)" but you know what, if she lets him get away with it then she's no better than he is!
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Mar 17, 04
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If my family didn't approve then it wouldn't work out for me anyways. My dad gets along with everyone so that would be just weird if he didnt like someone, and my mom is like my best friend, so i couldn't let anything/anyone jepordize that.
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Mar 17, 04
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my mother is the smartest person I know. (no shit.)
If she told me to stop seeing whomever, I would make her give me a good reason why, and she would probably be right. Even my friends call her and ask for advice, no kidding. it's madness.
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Mar 17, 04
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My parents are total assholes and I really do hate them.
They have never been supportive or done anything to help. They care about themselves and their own problems. Jeff and I have been going out for almost 3 years and I told Jeff he would regret ever meeting my parents. My mom tried to steal him away from me and has even spread crap around the family about me and him. Do I listen to my parents? Hell no! They have their opinions and I like to find things out on my own. You dont gain anything if you do what your parents tell you ALL THE TIME!
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Mar 18, 04
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if my moms had a real beef with my significant other, i'd definetely find out why. her opinion matters. i like to think nothing will blind me so bad as to disregard the people who matter most.
of course i get along pretty good with me ma so i'm sure it's different for each person.
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Mar 22, 04
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i think my mom is a little crazy....... i trust my dad's instincts more because he was "one of those guys" when he was younger, and he can tell when its one of those guys after his little princess.
usually its my brother i have to worry about, hes really important to me, and he has never straight up said "i dont like that guy" about any of my bf's, but he has said pretty nasty things about most of them. hes also the one in my family that sees me cry, so if a boy makes me cry he tends to be more protective. the one that he hasnt said anything about, has proven to be the best. :kimmie: my mom's opinion doesnt ever sink into me. i realize that she has experienced alot in life, however, i need to experience that too. i need to be heartbroken too to grow. and thats truely what my mom doesnt want to see happen, and i can understand that, but i have to have my own experiences.
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Mar 25, 04
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my mom only offers her advice when I ask for it. I'm usually pretty level headed when it comes to love and relationships. My dad is the one who needs a chill pill. Every guy is just after his little girl for one thing. Heaven forbid I have good judgement on the matter.
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Mar 25, 04
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I dont like anything bout the way my parents relationship was... so I learned for myself... lets see how this all turns out
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