not being able to give advice

junglequeen · #1 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

because you might hurt feelings or not having your despensed advice listened to.

I am finding it really difficult to watch my closest raver friends go through emotional distress caused by immaturity and stubbornness. How many times do you need to make the same mistakes before you learn from them?

I have empathy and pity now but Im starting to lose patience with the whole matter. I have my own baggage please dont make me carry yours.

stringbeans · #2 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

sounds like you have stupid friends.. go make new ones!

junglequeen · #3 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

They are all ravers.
I need non rave friends.
I guess Im looking in the wrong places though......

ppcock · #4 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

i liked listening to jibteks talk about their problems

I liked it even more when i left and they were still going on about their problems.

I guess the ground listens better than I do.

Kelster · #5 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

yesterday i met this guy, and he was all 'what's wrong with me...seriously, tell me what's wrong with me and what i should change..'

so i told him, well i only told him one thing, but it shut him up. 'stop using fucking gel, it's not 1995 and your curls look like plastic'

no matter where you buy it, and how much you spend on the gel...it's still fucking gel, and like all gels it makes your hair look disgusting

stringbeans · #6 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

i use glue, is that ok?

Goat · #7 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

Quote:

because you might hurt feelings or not having your despensed advice listened to.

friends are the ones who're gonna tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, through the good times and bad.

how can you feel guilty telling someone the truth, especially if it's going to help them through some hard times, albiet a little bit of effort.

ppcock · #8 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

hahahah i got good karma for giving good advice

that's a first.. fuck you goat!

Goat · #9 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

^you're white.
you got nothing.

ppcock · #10 (**permalink**) May 23, 04

you're not white

(russian profanities)

sweet~kandy · #11 (**permalink**) May 24, 04

Sheena, I know what u mean.

Sometimes raver friends are just too much and you need ppl who dont rave. I tend to have this problem a lot. Many of my raver friends at just too uptight and into the scene where my other non raver friends are low key and fun. I dunno.... Im just blabbling now....

Special_J · #12 (**permalink**) May 24, 04

Are you sure it's not just that particular group of people, after all, I am one of your raver friends and I'm not like that right? Maybe you just aren't hanging around with the right people, which is what I have been telling you. The fact that your friends come to you for advice shows that they value your opinion, but it isn't your job to fix all their problems for them.

x0x_manda_x0x · #13 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

sheena
i love you.
i know that this might be directed my way
im sorry
i love you.
that is all.
no that is not all
thank you.

junglequeen · #14 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

Not really but in general I think Im going to leave advice giving to people like Jingles who have more tact then I have.
I have very blunt advice apparently and I always put my foot in my mouth.

x0x_manda_x0x · #15 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

You help me.

galaxie · #16 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by x0x_manda_x0x

sheena
i love you.
i know that this might be directed my way
im sorry
i love you.
that is all.
no that is not all
thank you.

If this is directed to you, then she's not too great of a friend at all. Dealing with what you're dealing with would be utterly impossible for some people. Most would probably try to pretend that nothing was wrong. IMO, only people who have been in your shoes need give advice, everyone else can lend support but they really don't know wtf they're talking about.

junglequeen · #17 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

It actually wasnt anything to do with suicide. I recently went through a suicidal friend situation myself and although the darkness seems to have lifted I am not in a place to comment or give advice. I do not try to know what Im talking about in regards to life and death.
This thread is meerly about people who make the same relationship mistakes over and over without trying to fix where they have stumbled. I am not a councellor only a friend who hates to see people in pain that is self inflicted.

galaxie · #18 (**permalink**) May 25, 04

^I never meant to imply that you were giving advice about that particular situation, I was just stating that if you were being harsh with her 'cause she wasn't taking your advice on the situation it wasn't right 'cause she's not going through something that's easy by any means. =)