my motherly side can be such trouble

[Jingles]

i like bad boys
i know they are bad
but i like my mens a litle rougher around the edges

though it seems over the past 4 years, it's degenerated froma 'bad boy' to a 'i need a mom to take care of me when i'm not smoking pot' kind of boy
you know the ones, they are in constant search of a job, no car of their own, need help with everything

now, I am not one that if they came off like this that i would pick them up - it's usually after a few dates or some time together that you begin to see the clues
and, as i have learned this boys are always living ont he brink of the next disaster - and I , being the kind of gal i am like to lend a helping hand where I can.

So for the past 2 months I have been helping one, helped him write a resume, helped him look for jobs - take him to interviews, shake my finger if he dressed inappropriately for said interview - we have done a zillion things together and
I have fallen into
the MOM roll

he and i are not fucking
but now there is no chance we ever will - right? cause once you are a MOM to them , it's over, they don't see you the same way

I know my taste is bad people
no need to comment on that, but i need to hide my nurturing side or something
why do i always let my bleeding heart lead me?

[hardstylin]

you poor jingles ur way to nice i think, start cutting the losers away!!!

[ebbomega]

First you're too pushy, now you're too motherly?

Hrm. This does not bode well.

Maybe he has a weird Oedipal syndrome. You may still get play out of this yet!

[yoko*]

I don't think you need to hide your nurturing side, you just need to invest it in someone who's worthy, and could take care of themselves in the first place. No one will learn from having things handed to them. Some people need a good slap in the face before they learn to do things for themselves, and sometimes, helping someone so much isn't really helping them at all...

q:
Do you feel the need to be needed?

[DJ Ponz]

As I get older, I realize more and more that beside every strong man, there is a strong woman. Imagine if you could nurture a good guy - what strength would you both have to face the rigors of life?

[spunsugar]

I'm the same way. I have a thing with taking people under my wing. I have to remind myself that I can't be mother to everyone, taking care of and caring for are different than "raising". it's just in your nature to be a caring person and to want others to do well and to learn from your experiences. it's just hard to figure out where the line is crossed from mom to friend/gf.



p.s. ryan says for me to add " keep going look where it got me" but trust me, that's not what you want. :silly:

[Jingles]

Originally Posted by yoko*

q:
Do you feel the need to be needed?

i like feeling needed
i don't need to feel needed, as long as i feel wanted, or appreciated

[~*tct*~]

well I think that unless u really wanna change the mothering nuturing side of u theres no point in trying, true significant change is very hard, going threw it myself, looks to me like u probably got this from ur mother when u were growiing up cuz i know i sure got alot of traits from mine, all i can say is try to be happy with who u r u sound like a wonderful person to me we dont always find true good souls, stay the way u are u will find sumone there are many good ones out there.

*P*L*U*R*
much luv ~*chandelle*~

[Carrie]

i'll need you and appreciated you!
= )

[Bitchin]

I hate feeling like a mom...

Just remeinds me when I lived at the DA house... and Geoff and I had to get all the kids up to goto work..

it was just kreepy.

I still do tho at times.. but I'm trying to step back from that and look after myself.. err try to or something..

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Carrie

i'll need you and appreciated you!
= )

Me too!

We should form a Need And Appreciate Maryah Club!

[diva]

Bad boys are great, but--

I tend to think that I have too much of my own shit to worry about to be running trying to fix someone else's life.
Sometimes I feel a bit heartless in this respect, but I really never have the urge to "make things better" for people. I believe more in facilitating. I'll offer to help someone figure out how to do something, or achieve some sort of goal, but they're always on their own when it comes to the execution part.

I'm not sure if anyone will ever realize your true value if you're constantly giving of yourself and failing to make it known that you have needs just like every body else.

Why does this person need to be mothered in the first place?
Why's he accepting the mothering?
I don't know if you'll ever get humps from this person. If you did, they might be really lame lie-down-and-let-the-girl-do-all-the-work-kind-of-humps.

And yes, I do think you need to hide your nurturing side in the beginning. If you were a zillionaire, would you let someone view your financial statements on the first date? I'd hope not.

You're an awesome human being, Maryah, and I want you to be happy.
Find a bad boy who's mothering needs have been met already.