Feeling like you cant find a direction in life

[.muffy.]

Maybe it's just the weather making me all sappy, but I needed to vent so here it goes.

I hate the feeling of not knowing where you belong. I feel like the past 2 years I've been on this uphill battle trying to sort myself out. I hate the fact that some people have this major direction in life and I never seem to be able to find mine.

Someone started a thread on what's your expertise, and I dont even know what mine are. How sad is that? It feels like everyone knows what they're good at, except for me.

My job sucks, and yet as much as I complain about it and wish I could do something more, I am constantly afraid of never being good enough and I get scared of being laughed at when I go to hand in my resume. (my ex once told me all my resume could tell you is that I make a mean latte) And so two years later, I am still working at Starbucks, and serving snotty people I went to highschool their lattes and coffees before they head off to their "important" job somewhere.

I've been feeling the need more than ever lately to get away from everything. Out of Vancouver, away from my comfort zone, I jsut need to see other things. Meet people, have new experiences. I would want do be doing it by myself tho and that kinda scares me too. I've never done any backpacking before, let alone by myself, and in Thailand. The whole thought of it is exhillerating yet freaky all at the same time.

I know I need to have more confidence in myself, people tell me all the time, I just dont know where to even start.

[miss.myra]

so called important jobs can mean shit all

I'm 22 and I have a 'real' job and I just feel stuck. I also feel like I really miss being young and irresponsible :(

You're young still, live your life because sometimes you can really regret the trap of being caught in some cubicle wasteland..I dunno if you'll really find yourself by travelling because that thing outside of your comfort zone you could be looking for could be right there in front of you.


I love you and you know I'd support what you wanted to do 100% if it made you happy, but don't go too far unless you're planning on kiddnapping me :p

[iluvtechno]

life is about fun+happyness+family+friends, not about a direction.. beep beep

[dapimpstress]

she's young still?? dude, u think ur old jus cuz ur 22~?? damn babe.. i dont THINK so...haha... 35 is old... n e thing below that is still mad young. :) and dude... my job SOUNDS all hella important.. but if it was.. how in the world could i spend so much time on this website?? haha... there u go.. cuz i answer phones and do billing reports... "administrative assistant" sounds nice sure..and its pretty fun cuz i work at a cool company, but it sucks jus as much as makin lattes (i kno cuz i did that fo a LONG ass fukin time) just in a diff way... u kno right? werd. keep your head up and smilin. the only happiness to find is the happiness u make for yourself. if you are determined to have fun and be happy it will happen easily for you, easier than u would think... jus start saying fuk the job, im not gonna think about it unless im there.. and then u have all this other time and the freedom to relax and just live.

[soma]

Originally Posted by d4isy

that kinda scares me too.

I know I need to have more confidence in myself, people tell me all the time, I just dont know where to even start.

Take a chance on life and make that serious change.

You are young and free so do something about it!:)

Weather your change is huge or small you will begin to build your confidence and not doubt what you can/can't do... I know that you can do anything you want. I believe that you can be the strong independent woman you want to be.

[miss.myra]

group huuuuuuuuuugs!

[SEAN!]

pretty much no one has an "important" job in their early twenties....for many it takes time to figure out where they want to take their life. i think its a really good idea that you get out and experience all sorts of new shit, because thats a really good way of finding what you like and want to do latter on in life.

it worked for me, i quit my job at the spur of the moment and was lucky enough to find an entry level job in the office of a construction company, after spending nearly 3 years workin my way up in that shit hole company ive figured out what i really want to do with my life and have begun to take the steps necesary to get there.


you probably wont find direction in your life by staying in the same place.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by soma

Take a chance on life and make that serious change.

You are young and free so do something about it!:)

Weather your change is huge or small you will begin to build your confidence and not doubt what you can/can't do... I know that you can do anything you want. I believe that you can be the strong independent woman you want to be.

WERD!

[stringbeans]

my problem is that i have the direction i just dont know if ill ever get there

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by stringbeans

my problem is that i have the direction i just dont know if ill ever get there

KEEP YO HEAD UP!

[spunsugar]

ergh I feel the same way. everyone I know is in school working towards their thing, or they know what they want to do and are just waiting to start doing it or something else in the same vein. everytime I make up my mind on what I think will be my thing I end up realizing that it wasn't really it in the first place. I feel like everytime I reach the top of a staircase I have to take an elevator down in oder to reach the next one. feeling stuck is one of the worst feelings ever. I've been bumping into lot's of people I haven't seen in years latley and having to hear about all the stuff they've accomplished and/or arre doing right now while I try and explian that I schlep canned meat for a living is the crappiest thing ever. I want to move forward and be a "grown up" and yet I feel like I don't know how to go about it or where to start or anything. I hate it. :(

[decypher]

i totally know what u mean, this year more then ever i've felt trapped with no direction. This is a pivotal point in everyones life, so make the most of it.. choose something u feel well better yourself, and do it. good luck! :)

[Sykonee]

Hnn... I spent a year at the bottom of the poverty line in Vernon due to some really stupid decisions, mainly based on a desire to 'find direction in life'.

But it still served me well. It gave me direction, for certain, just not what I had expected. It toughed my resolve, and gave me a work ethic I never before had. I promised that I would never allow myself to become trapped in the 'welfare' cycle and I became determained to make something out of nothing.

This focus allowed me to get exactly the job I wanted down here in Vancouver and my personal projects are starting to come into fruitation as well (see sig).

I really don't know the answer. Quite often the answer to these dilemas are never right in front of us. Lord knows the route I ended up taking certainly wasn't planned. But it was the route I did take and I've managed to find some sort of direction, some goals, because of it.

[desiRAWR]

I think we all have these anxieties about our future...especially once we hit our twenties. You might not have 'found' your direction in life just yet...but it'll hit you when you find it. You shouldn't have to search for it -- it will probably come to you when you realize what you want out of life.

And I've found that even when you've 'found' what you want, you're still searching for more...I'm going to school right now for something I want to do...but I'm still thinking about what ELSE I want out of life, What's going to happen AFTER school, Where am I going to be in a years time, etc.

I don't know if this is helping. But maybe being in the same place for 2 years is making you feel this way too. Maybe a serious change could help the way you're feeling for sure...travelling might not help you find your direction in life (or it just might) but it will most certainly let you life your life to the fullest and take advantage of your young age.

[mugsy]

i really have no direction, i have an area i want to get to, but no final destination, and im perfectly comfertable with it. i know things that i want to do, like travel, get some schooling in another country, and sell artwork somewhere other than port moody..... but i also keep in mind that im way too young to worry about not having these things within the next two years of my future. i'm a very organized person, but i have come to learn that when i give myself a final place to be\person to be, i dont enjoy myself on the journey. im the kinda person that needs to stop and smell the roses and or take the dark and scarey path instead of the clear one. although i have to admit that somedays i want to have a straight forward path with no curves. i get a little frustrated when friends talk about their futures, that involve things like where they will be doing their chosen job, and all i can talk about is where i'll be next year... but i think its kinda cool in that sense too.

what im slowly sorting out is that it takes years, i think, to figure out where and who you want to be. at least i know i wake up different everyday. but this could be different for everyone, like i said, i dont mind not having a direct place to be in 5 years, im happy with knowing what ill be doing next year. some people need that knowlegde and comfort. i find comfort in the unknown.
and as for the getting away thing... why not do it. if your afraid to start big, why not start small? discover bc first. or go across canada.

[Kandyapple]

Don’t feel bad about your direction Hun. My mom is 54. She says she is still trying to find out what she wants to be when she grows up. :p
Your young. Run away if you like. Get another job. Ok maybe you only know how make a mean latte. But there are jobs out there that can train you to do other things.
Just do some browsing in the adds. See if anything clicks when you look at it. Ask friends what they are doing, and what they had on their resume when they got that job.
I have a job that some people think is cool. And I didn’t have anything impressive on my resume.
It still looks like the one I made in grade 10.
If you feel like you need to run away. DO IT!!! it’s fun. Its scary, its an experience. But bring money!
You have lot's of time to plan out your path. I've been there. Im sure you could dig up my "lost" post somewhere in the fnk records. Right now I'm just chuging along untill something jumps out at me. Good luck with your delema. :)

[M!SKA]

I was thinking about this exact same thing today while walking in the rain. Its definitely the weather, because normally this topic doesn't bother me.
Although lately I have been getting sick of the same routine. Time for a change of some sorts!

[AGROculture]

Here's some tips from one of my favorite books that I credit to me getting my act togethor
it's called The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey....

I suggest you read the book though. This is basically just my interperitation from what I got from the book. So it could be a lil off haha

Be Proactive:
In other words don't let the world pass you by! There's tons of oportunities going right by you everyday. Sometimes it just takes a lil get oomph to get ya started. If you see an oportunity, go for it! Take risks!

Begin with the End in Mind:
Set Goals. Create a future in your mind. Imagine and Visualize it! Thats something that only us Humans can do. Animals can't........A Squirrel can gather buts for Winter but they can't make a nut making machine, nor can they ask questions like "Why do I collect nuts" or "Can I get others to collect nuts for me while I work on more important things like my nut making machine?"

Put First things First:
Now that you know what your goal is you must realise that there is rarely short cuts. A farmer has to nuture, sow and weed his field to get her crops the next season.
If she tries to skip a step his crops will fail.
You must learn Algerbra befroe Calculus, and you must learn Math before Algebra. In other words take steps, baby steps if you have to to get where you're going

Think Win/Win:
Life is full of negotiations. Whether it's business, Families or relationships. Most people look at Negotiating like this Win/Lose
People who think Win/Win realise that it's a big world out there and there's enough of everything for everybody. It's an abundance mentality

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood:
This is the endowment of courage balnced with consideration. Does it take Courage and Consideration to not be understood first?
Think about it. Think about the problems you face. You tend to think, "You need to understand me but you don't understand! I understand you but you don't understand me. So let me tell you my story first, and then you say what you want.
And then the other person says, "OK I'll listen", but the whole time they're "listening" they're preparing their reply.
The other person tunes out unless they feel understood

Synergize:
This is bascially the idea where the sum of the group is greater than all the parts that add up to it. You and I could only do so much. However if we work togethor with people to get what we want there's no end to the possibilites

Sharpen the Saw:
The Japanese calls this Kaizen. It basically means renewal and constant improvement. Never settle! Even if you are inproving 2% at a time.

Hope this helps a bit =)

[babygirlazn]

so know wut ur talking about i dunno but like college didn't work i tryed that for a year.. and computers well that obviously didn't last more than e5 months. i'm still trying to find what i'm really good at and lately now i dunno lately i have been considering taking religious classes at my church and becoming fullly catholic/baptized/communioned etc.. and also wow what is up with me finally getting call backs for jobs.. now i realize that i wasn't meant to stay in abby/mission i'm meant to be in city... everything goes wrong in my life i hope whatever this is keeps on going cuz lately i've been a bit more happier

[Tea]

personally, the moment i gave up the rave scene, in the sense that i stopped partying...i started to find myself and the things i love. Also being single for the past 20 years has helped some. Seriously though, your a vibrant person and you have a glow to you...that inflicts happiness, when i see you in a picture i laugh because i can feel the fun.

I know you want more then coffee out of life...so maybe take some self discovery time, and use your days off and your time away from work to discover things you enjoy....dont make yourself feel bad or insignificant because your not what you think you should be, instead of feeling sorry for yourself be productive and think of ways you can improve your mood.

no worries your not alone..and five bucks says your amazing, you just need to know it.


self acceptance and confidence in the self is key....time will help things fall into place.

head up.

[booshka]

When I got out of highschool I was feeling the same as you (complete with working full time in a coffee shop). I didn't go to school right away, because I didn't know what would be right for me. I went off traveling bymyself when I was 18, and since then I knew (for the most part) what I wanted in life......I'm not saying that the same will happen for you, but I highly advocate independant travel/backpacking. Now I'm 21 and I'm confident of the future....

[MissBehavior]

Daiseh, hunny, we're 23...We aren't supposed to know what we want yet. We're supposed to spend this part of our lives figuring shit out. Anyone who says they know what they want at this age are A) Lying; or B) Very lucky, and part of a minority.

Don't get discouraged! And if you ever need someone to vent to, I'm always here.

PS: Teapottying soon?

[ebbomega]

Direction is overrated.

Too many people get tripped up on direction that they actually fail to do anything.

Worry less about where you're going and more on how to get there.

[galaxie]

Adrienne, Michelle....It sounds like the three of us are all in the same boat. Grady just registered for school last night - he got three classes when he only expected to get one - and I to be completely honest, I'm super jealous. I'm so happy for him, and at the same time, I wish that I could be joining him.

What frustrates me about my life is that I know exactly what I want to do in school, and after school, when it comes to a career and a family, yet somehow I am in this grey area and I don't really know how to get out of it. And now a new variable has been thrown into my life, and that's the fact that I might actually have to make up some classes from high school in order to take the classes I want at college/university because the prerequsites have changed since I was in highschool. It's frustrating because there are soooo many steps you have to take just to get there - Adrienne, people like you and I are very sensitive and little problems can throw off entire plans, which is why this sucks so much for me.

All in all, I think what you might need to do is just try something totally out of the ordinary for you. I know you wanted to go to makeup school before - is that still an interest of yours? If so, you should pursue the things that you feel you may enjoy later in life, because if you don't you'll end up wondering what would have happened if you had.

[Lenny]

http://viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/the_vice.php
^^Is there anything these guys haven't covered?^^