still speechless...

[Joanne]

I had a co-worker who was one of the sweetest girls I've ever known. we had a lot of things in common and one of the things we talked about the most was our boyfriends. we used to share stories about what sweeties they were and the silly things they did. we used to talk about the future and how we wanted to marry these guys we loved so dearly.

I just got an email from her saying that her boyfriend of 3 or 4 years had passed away from an acute infection. I couldn't believe it. he was only maybe 22 or 23. and she had planned on marrying him in probably a few years.

I just didn't know what to say. I still don't really know what to say. I mean, we've only kept in touch a few times a year since we've stopped working together. but I have this urge to call her and see how she's doing. at the same time, I worry that she'd rather be alone.

it's one of those constant reminders that, at any day, any one of us can go. and it saddens me to think that a death has to occur for me to remember how inevitible it is....

--Joanne :P

[G-Style]

Sweetie I think calling her would be a great idea. You guys have shared alot of stories and time in this area and she proberly wants to talk to you more than anyone else at this point because she proberly feels you are the only one that can truely understand her right now. Go to her and you shall be rewarded. There are no coincedences in life, everything happens for a reason but it's up to you to find out what those reasons are!

[Kraig]

Absolutely call her.

You two formed a common bond with one another and with that comes trust. Call and let her know that you are there for her if she needs someone to chat with, hang with or whatever. Just be sure to let her tell you what she needs in the form of support rather than assuming. -- That is people's biggest mistake when they are trying to help. That is giving someone the kind of help they would want if they were in a similar situation.

Cheers.

[hardstylin]

ya let her cry on your shoulder thats probly the worst thing that could ever happen and she will need a friend that connects with her on many levels to get threw this.

[Kraig]

Although different, I had a girl I dated once die in a car accident. The first massive feeling you go through is shock and dis-belief followed by a TON of emotion - some feel anger, sadness, etc... This is why it's important you understand how she is feeling and the kind/type of help she needs from you.

[galaxie]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Joanne.

Definitely call her.
Support her however you can.

I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago. My friend from highschool's mom passed away suddenly. I hadn't spoken to him since once in grade eleven, so it had been four years, but I showed up to the memorial service, flowers in arms and tears in eyes to support him. Surprisingly, 17 of the 26 members of my grade 8-10 class showed up, too.

Give her all the support you can, Joanne. She definitely needs it, and she will definitely appreciate it.

*hug*

[*Geminiz*]

wow. That is so incredibly sad. :( I say call her. Even just to say she's in your thoughts and if you're needed you are there - I know I would be lost for words too. I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought even if she does want to be alone. Or maybe she needs friends around more than ever. If I were in her position, I would need loved ones around, because I would just whither away if I were to be alone...

[rawb]

i drifted apart from a few friends but when they heard i was doing really rough, they called me up and helped me out. it meant everything.

[MC Hammered]

Be there for someone as I am sure you would appreciate the same gesture if you were in their position.

[G-Style]

There are few things in this cynical world that are free without a catch. True friends that are there when you need them are far and few between. The older I get the more I believe in Karma and eventually things come back to you. Even if you gals aren't that closer friends anymore one day you will need someone and the good karma will come your way. Besides all this it's simply the right thing to do. If someone is in need I know no matter whatever else is going on between us I'll always be there if needed.

Wise quote!

Every now and then I get a little crazy
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never thought they would ever deceive me
Don't you know when times got rough I was standing on my own
I'll never let another get that close to me
You see I've grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see
If your friends are true they'll be there with you
Through the thick and thin

They dog me out then want to be next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy
People say I act a little funny
I wouldn't change not for any money
I'll be a friend as long as you're a friend to me

Even though I might seem easy
It don't give you no cause to deceive me
It's not the way that I want my friends to ever be

What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down
Are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

Don't turn you back on your friends when they need you most

[Joanne]

thanks for the advice guys.

I did eventually call her today and I'm glad I did. she told me she had really appreciated the gesture and had told me she was glad I had called as well.

it was absolutely heart-wrenching as she told me about the details of her last few days with her boyfriend... but at the same time, I was glad that she had reached the point where she was able to talk about with others--something she never thought she would be able to do.

I had only met this guy a couple of times, but through the stories we shared, I felt like I knew him. she's going to send me an email about the details of his funeral later on this week.

again, I really appreciate the advice guys.

--Joanne :P

[miss.myra]

If I ever go through really shitty stuff, I personally feel like all I need is space and I get really stubborn and think I can just deal with everything myself..

then there's those one or two people that are always there for me, and then they show up and I realize I really needed them to be there..

I think its uncomfortable initially because people never know what to say-
but do they ever realize that they can say the most by saying nothing at all?