when friends become non-friends

[mugsy]

so i'll sum it all up.
i've had a group of girlfriends for awhile, since about grade 8. we arent the kind of gals that hang out constantly, but we'll polish off a couple of bottles of wine here and there, have some kick ass ladies night and no matter what club we are at, we tear up the dance floor. one of the girls im very close with, the others the relationships differ.
one of the girls is someone i thought was a wicked person. always dished out great advice and never really judged you. awesome lady.
awesome lady met a boy. usually she gets wrapped up in her boyfriends - we all know the type - so all of us other ladies didnt take a second glance at teh fact that she was extremely wrapped up in the boy. awesome lady is an amazing actress and gets accepted into schools all over canada, picks one and gets ready to go. the boy goes to school in toronto, so he leaves, she gets sad and DOESNT go to school. all of us suport the awesome lady as she is emotionally crushed, however we are offended that in mid conversation she will call boy in toronto and talk to him for an hour...... at least warn us.
boy decides to drop out of school too. boy comes back here. awesome lady and boy decide that after 3 months they are ready to move out together.
awesome lady does not know how to cook, do laundary or really fend for herself..... still lives at home rent free. us girlfriends still support her, tell her that she should slow down, but still support her.
THEN she starts bringing the boy to ladies night. we go to see a movie, they dont even sit with us. THEN she starts saying awful things like "eating disorders are disgusting. its just the middle class womans way of getting attention. they arent real, they do it to themselves and its disgusting." THEN she starts treating all the girlfriends like shit, our problems\lives a less amazing\important than hers.

so we are thinking of talking to her about it. but she she has a tendancy to talk in circles, yell, and be a big bitch. i really like this girl as a friend, but truely i liked her as a friend before the boy. he has changed her, and is a "her" that none of us really get along with anymore. im not saying its a bad thing, its just not who we like.

what would you all do? have the sit down? or just not have time for people who ignore you\change plans\disrespect you?

p.s. there is alot more evidence to my case of her changing into a strange monster, but its too much to type.

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by mugsy

what would you all do? have the sit down? or just not have time for people who ignore you\change plans\disrespect you?

The latter.

If she really cares about her friends, and if she has a clue, then eventually she's going to notice her actions are making her old friends not even have the time of day for her. Maybe then she'll smarten up.

[Sykonee]

I've known too many people like this from both sides of the sexes. It sounds like she's so into this guy that his opinions about things are affecting her opinions as well.

Trouble is, that's her perogative. The only thing you, as a friend, can do is grin and bear it. If you can't, then you just may have to let her go. If she asks why you don't hang as often, then and only then do you let her know why. Trying to make her see things your way now when it appears she sees things his way (and will continue to do so for as long they are in a relationship) is a loosing proposition.

[yoko*]

being that she is so into her boyfriend and already sells you guys out for her bf, if you all confront her at once she might run to her boyfriend, and stay there without a second thought.... until and if they break up that is, when she'll conveniently remember that she once had girlfriends :P

[G-Style]

I don't know I usually just walk away. I don't have time for people like that in my life. No matter what they are doing my life and direction is more important than there's and if they don't understand that then it's time we went our seperate ways. I have walked away from some good friends in my life because they were taking a walk down a road I didn't want to go and knew it wouldn't end well. Some people need to learn the hard way and when she finally breaks up with this guy and they will she'll be sititng at home alone wondering where'd my friends go.......Love is blind nad makes you do things and say things you'd usually not say so no matter how you handle this situation if the guys still in the picture it's not going to be pretty!. Wait till they break up then if YOU want to then have a chat!

[mugsy]

yah see walking away is a great idea, but heres where i pause - i feel for the girl. shes jumping into so many things right now that if she falls shes gonna need a little help getting back up. and because shes been a pretty good friend for awhile i dont want her to be alone in a time of need. yes, she is not treating me very nicely, however, shes human, shes making mistakes.
its all a part of becoming a lady.
i dont want to just drop her on her ass. maybe one of us will talk to her.. does that seem better?
i could be 100% wrong, but i truely don't believe the boyfriend of hers will be a forever kind of thing, and break ups are a touch easier with friends around.
maybe all us other ladies need to stop being nice, stand up and walk out.