i want control.

[mugsy]

so im an artist, and i dig the fact that i have control over the things i create. i can make them, break them, throw them across the room, or hang them perfectly on the wall, ect. ect.
why cant i have control anywhere else in life? friends doing stupid things, i just want to reach into their minds and yell "please dont do this." but you cant do that, people do what they do, make mistakes where they make them. i know i do\have. its just rough sometimes watching it happen, knowing all you can do is support them.
i'd also like to be able to control other things like science. why cant i make the rapeist or the murderer suffer with feeling like theyre having a heart attack for a day, not remembering what a full breathe of air feels like, feeling like they dont want to keep on fighting an illness because it doesnt feel worth it, feeling like they are letting a loved one down, feeling no reliefe from pain or sickness? it just seems to have so much more justice.
some moments i am overwhelmed with what i dont understand.

[wum]

i find that relinquishing control is more liberating than trying to be in control

[sungoo]

^wise words wum.

trying to control everything in your life can be counter productive.
especially with people.
People will be themselves and nothing you say can change that. often with good advice, you can bend people's opinions or their wills, but it's rare that you can completely twist it half.
and if you let things be, they will turn out fine.
don't mean to paraphrase bruce lee or anything but be like water, and when the opportunity arises, strike.

control is relative.
there is nothing more fragile then being in a world where you believe you're in control.

[Sarah...]

one of the most beautiful parts of life is how things are undetermined
the only thing you can control is how you choose to see and learn from experiences

[mugsy]

not disagreeing with any of you, i stated how i cant change the things....
i mostly want to change the things that really are not controlled. ahh that doesnt make sense.
anyways im an artist, my thoughts, ideas, being changes by the minute, im never really fully in control of much, other then the marks i choose to make, ideas i choose to speak, actions i choose to make.
i just want to have control of things like illness, and take them away. and when horrid things happen to friends, i want to not allow them to happen. i cant, i know, but i want to. i think everyone wants to stop bad things from happening. thats whats overwhelming me. sometimes problems are so large that the fact you cant change them, or really accept them can eat you up.

[LeeBrat]

Originally Posted by wum

i find that relinquishing control is more liberating than trying to be in control

that was beautifully said =)

but i understand where your comming from, some people make "unwise" decisions, some of which we ourselves have already gone though and know the consequences of, yet when our friends start making the same ones all you can do is give them advice and hope they make the best decisions

[mikey]

I feel ya megs, I run ALOT of shit. But there's alot of things in my life i have no control over....