today

mugsy · #1 (**permalink**) Feb 07, 06

jeeze reality kicked the shit outta me.
was getting ready to go and pick my dad up from chemo when i get a phone call from the hospital - he had a reaction to the chemo. basically along the same lines as anaphalactic (sp?) shock - face, mouth, throat swelled up. they had to stop immediately and adminster a whole pharmacy of drugs. he's completely fine, the nurses take more the excellent care of him there, but does it ever fucking suck to have to realize how quickley your mind jumps to the unthinkable with a single phone call.
i know my dad is dying, but some days you just REALLY know. today was one of them. all the nurses know our family pretty well now, dads been going there for three years. so the nurse knew exactly what to say in order to stress that the situation wasnt anything to worrry about, which i thanked her for. it still made me shake a little, and worry alot, and speed to the hospital and wake him up. some times it makes me sick to my stomach that i feel the need to purposely wake him up to make sure he's still ok.
positive outlook is that with all the new stuff with the chemo, he feels better then normal, so this may have been an allergy that was building up meaning he might feel better though this section of treatment.

oi vey. bed now.

Kraig · #2 (**permalink**) Feb 07, 06

I've been there many a time and totally appreciate what you're saying.

fable · #3 (**permalink**) Feb 07, 06

oi vey is right!

in pain and struggle, i hope you are able to find those moments of love and nostalgia.

Asheai · #4 (**permalink**) Feb 07, 06

I hope he feels better after this. My mother had cancer as well, though I was fairly young, and they did get it out, but I have some idea of where you are coming from with this. Hopefully you can enjoy being with him, and not have to worry about what may come next...

zarlon · #5 (**permalink**) Feb 07, 06

^ Amen to that. (What Kraig said that is...)

From what you've posted about this so far, it seems like you're doing the best thing anyone could do in this situation.. making the time you do have left with him the best times. You're a strong girl, it's a lot of weight to carry around on your shoulders, but you're doing great.

(Wrote this at 7:30 am in the morning, just deciding to post now, har..)

You deserve thumbs up even though I don't even know you, and I'm pretty lurky and usually hold back on posting stuff but I think it needs to be said.

Best of luck, and my thoughts are with you and your family.