Dear FnK - I need your help please

[iamfallin]

I’d like to start with, yes I did create this account just for this one reason.
I do post here with another alias and enjoy the opinions of people.
I’ve wanted to post this for well over 3 months now.
If you know who I am, then keep it to yourself and do not ask if it’s me unless you know I want to talk to you.

I will open this thread with the hope of different opinions and suggestions on the topics.

I’m afraid that I may have slipped into a mild form of depression which I’m disguising very well to my friends and all the close people around me.
I used to be clinically depressed based on family issues which have now been resolved.
For the friends that think I may be down, they have asked, and I do everything I can to prove to them I’m not.

Reasons? I used to have this drive in me, a drive so strong that people used to come to me for any type of motivation. I knew what I wanted, what I needed. I went out and did everything I could to achieve it. I would not rest unless it was dealt with.
For the past year I have noticed my mood towards life, relationships, school, money, and career have all been on the decline.

I can’t focus on school, every passing second when I’m in or skipping class I feel as though I should just give up. I know I need to go to school, I want a diploma at least but I can’t do it. I just don’t’ have that drive in me anymore. I feel as though I’m wasting every second of my life by not going out in the workforce yet I do nothing about it.

I had a girl I put aside because of my own issues and am now aware that I have thrown something very special aside.
I sit at home and listen to depressing music and flood myself with matters in life that have no true direct meaning to me just to escape reality which seems to be my drug.
I try hard not to think about this stuff but lately it’s the first thought that enters my head when I wake up.
I don’t pity myself; I want to make this clear. I just need a bit of guidance and a bit of help.
I know things are not good when I live each day in hopes some miracle will happen.
I do go out still and mingle with friends but it means nothing to me.

I have the option to move away, to start fresh.
I have the option to do what I like without restrictions.
I have the option to leave everything behind with no regrets and remorse.

I’m crying out for help and I hope some of you can help.
I hope none of you will be cynical but I just don’t know what to do at this point.

- lost

[ebbomega]

running from your problems and hiding from them is merely going to compound them and make you repeat the same mistakes.

if you don't talk about this with your friends you're never going to feel better about yourself. you think going somewhere else will make your regrets go away, if anything all it will do is add to them.

that's definately not what you want to hear. what you want to hear is that you can start fresh anew. but nothing is farther from the truth.

you say you put up a good guise. why are you doing that? if it weren't for my friends helping me where i asked for it, i wouldn't be anywhere today. why are you so afraid of talking to someone about your problems? because they'll see you as imperfect, flawed and vulnerable? there's another word for that. it's called 'human'.

I'm not saying that your problems are minor. obviously they're not. what i'm saying is that if you don't let those around you help you through them, you're never going to know what's going on.

i'm not saying you need to come on here and post under your real name. honestly, you're bringing a lot of dirty laundry to the table and the last thing i would want if i were in your shoes is a bunch of internet strangers knowing those kind of intimate details of my life. but that's not to say that you should shut everybody out.

you're lost because you're not letting anybody show you the way.

talk to your friends. let them know what's happening. sit down and have a conversation. if they're friends they'll understand and they'll try to help you through it.

being independent doesn't mean being alone.

[A-BOMB]

i bet 10 dollars this is Clay(ever666).

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by Ever666

I bet 10 dollars

hey. way to pay attention. jesus. where the hell is it your place to air someone else's shit over the internet? fuck.

[Clayton.]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

hey. way to pay attention. jesus. where the hell is it your place to air someone else's shit over the internet? fuck.

Your right, i deleted my post.

[Clayton.]

Originally Posted by A-BomB

i bet 10 dollars this is Clay(ever666).

I'm writing an emo album.

[dabbler]

posting on here won't help much really... talk to your closest friends. they will be able to help the most.

[Silverwinged]

Posting something serious like this under a troll account is very much a double edged sword.
Yes, you are saving face/your rep and not letting the whole world wide web into your personal life... But at the same time, being so general... I find it hard to say much at all. Every situation is different to each person in some way. Without knowing who you are, it is very difficult to make an informed suggestion on how to get things back on track.
Listen to Jay.
Don't hide behind the computer. Sit down with a good friend, face to face, and get things sorted out.
It is silly that you have waited three months and let these things fester further, there is no time like the present to live life.

Best of luck.

[sNyx]

I think your just flaking out because some bird (or maybe a flock) hit you square on the dome. If you can't shower up and make tomorrow a new hair day then you need to seek out some real help. Life is a shit storm, from money to emotions and back again there is enough birdshit to fill a thousand cages. It's about goals, meaningful ones. Things you know you can do, things you hope you can do and things you dream you can. If there wasn't something above you trying to hit you on target what would be the challenge where would be the accomplishment. I don't know who or what or why you are at this point of running through the corn field backwards but it's you responsibility to put yourself ahead of yourself and dodge the shit. As much as knowingly possible.

[bungoshlung]

I've heard from a few people that taking a trip by yourself will help clear your head. Don't plan on things, just pick up and go for as long or short as you want. But the key is to do things and go places that YOU like. It worked for some, but I don't know if it'll work for you.

[SSJRICH420]

All I will say is that being depressed is not a fun thing to go through. Especially if you have to do it alone. I know when people say that your friends are always the right people to talk to and even tho they sometime seems like they arent, they really are. For me, one step at a time was the cure. Having dreams of wonderful things in the future is great, but you have to seperate them from reality. I never thought I was going to be were I am today even 2 years ago. But one thing at a time...

[iamfallin]

When I’ve started with some of my friends about some of these problems, they tend to leave my life and disappear for a while. It’s happened quite a bit to tell you the truth.
I don’t think I can say anything because they are dealing with issues themselves or they just don’t can’t deal with mine. I don’t blame them for it at all though.

My best friend who I can level with, I can’t talk to because he / she is not good with these types of issues. He / she is not very good at speaking their emotions or going deep and I don’t want to force it upon them.


Myles – I know what you are saying. It’s the same stuff I’ve said before and posted before. I just can’t seem to find myself back on that track my brain is telling me to, trying to get me to but the will isn’t there.

ebbomega – I appreciate what you have typed out here and I don’t know why but even before you started getting into detail I started to dispense some tears. First time I’ve done that in a long time. Thanks for the sincerity.

Rowina – I had thought of that as well and I’ve been meaning to plan a vacation for quite some time now and I may be able to go on one far far away within the next couple months.

[mugsy]

kinda understand in some ways. im living in a house right now and im the only one not on some form of seditive or anti-depressant. its situational depression for my family, and i wonder sometimes if i too need the assistance of medicine.
i dont know where i would be without my support group of friends. sometimes i dont even realize just how much they provide\do for me. random letters and emails, phone calls anything really. im lucky to have people in my life who never push things out of me, but wait, who dont tell me how to solve my problems, but listen and give opinions and hugs.
ive been closing off lately, and even though i can see it and feel it happening, i dont really have control of it. but the knowledge that these people are around me comforts me in ways i didnt know could exsist.

like everyone has been saying, talk to someone close. thye dont have answers, but they sure as hell can listen.
travel isnt for everyone, i want to travel bad, but it owuld literally be running away from my problems. so it will happen later.

running away from problems is not a good idea. but sometimes traveling is the only way to get to problems. if that makes anysense.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by iamfallin

When I’ve started with some of my friends about some of these problems, they tend to leave my life and disappear for a while. It’s happened quite a bit to tell you the truth.
I don’t think I can say anything because they are dealing with issues themselves or they just don’t can’t deal with mine. I don’t blame them for it at all though.

#1, the fonts you're using make it difficult to reply to.

#2, the point isn't that they necessarily need to be the best people to give advice. the point is you need to tell someone and get this shit off your chest. they don't need to give you advice. they just need to listen.

My best friend who I can level with, I can’t talk to because he / she is not good with these types of issues. He / she is not very good at speaking their emotions or going deep and I don’t want to force it upon them.

again, it doesn't matter if they're good or bad with this stuff. the point is that if your friends don't know what's going on with you you're not even giving them the chance to help. it's scary, yes, but you're only hurting yourself by keeping it bottled up. and if you move to somewhere else, these demons that haunt you now will still be bothering you, and if you don't tell someone there either then you'll just be doing the same thing over and over and you'll think there's no way out until you turn to self-destruction. and as glamourous as that might sound, you won't fix anything.

ebbomega – I appreciate what you have typed out here and I don’t know why but even before you started getting into detail I started to dispense some tears. First time I’ve done that in a long time. Thanks for the sincerity.

i'm glad that what i say makes sense on some level. i just hope you're levelheaded enough to understand why i say what i say.

maybe the reason that this brings the emotion forth is because you already knew what i was going to say, and it wasn't what you wanted. i don't know because i don't know you. but what i do know is that avoiding your problems doesn't make them go away.

good luck, godspeed, and may the force be with you. =)

[mojo]

if you need open ears send me a pm.

best of luck man.

[Prissypants]

My only piece of advice is: If you have serious problems then seek professional help. A bunch of ravers on a message board can only give you tidbits of advice but will not help with your problems. A mental health professional can help you identify the roots of your problems and give you the tools to deal with them.

Good luck. :)

[ebbomega]

I'm not much of a fan of "mental health professionals" myself. Really a lot of people with Bachelor's Degrees in psychology are playing the part of an objective listener, they just have a degree that says they're more qualified (IE they couldn't get an actual Degree so they got a psych one).

But ultimately, if you feel like you can't talk to anybody there's always an option that'll cost you 40 bucks an hour.

Or you can go to a psychiatrist, which is basically a psychologist with an MD and can perscribe drugs too.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

running from your problems and hiding from them is merely going to compound them and make you repeat the same mistakes.

if you don't talk about this with your friends you're never going to feel better about yourself. you think going somewhere else will make your regrets go away, if anything all it will do is add to them.

that's definately not what you want to hear. what you want to hear is that you can start fresh anew. but nothing is farther from the truth.

you say you put up a good guise. why are you doing that? if it weren't for my friends helping me where i asked for it, i wouldn't be anywhere today. why are you so afraid of talking to someone about your problems? because they'll see you as imperfect, flawed and vulnerable? there's another word for that. it's called 'human'.

I'm not saying that your problems are minor. obviously they're not. what i'm saying is that if you don't let those around you help you through them, you're never going to know what's going on.

i'm not saying you need to come on here and post under your real name. honestly, you're bringing a lot of dirty laundry to the table and the last thing i would want if i were in your shoes is a bunch of internet strangers knowing those kind of intimate details of my life. but that's not to say that you should shut everybody out.

you're lost because you're not letting anybody show you the way.

talk to your friends. let them know what's happening. sit down and have a conversation. if they're friends they'll understand and they'll try to help you through it.

being independent doesn't mean being alone.

this is one of the few times ive read a post of yours which i agree with.

who ever you are you need to realize that this problem is bigger then you and that the people on fnk dont have the skills necessary to help you out. if you feel this way you should seek professional help, they know better then any of us how you can help yourself and get out of the funk.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

I'm not much of a fan of "mental health professionals" myself. Really a lot of people with Bachelor's Degrees in psychology are playing the part of an objective listener, they just have a degree that says they're more qualified (IE they couldn't get an actual Degree so they got a psych one).

But ultimately, if you feel like you can't talk to anybody there's always an option that'll cost you 40 bucks an hour.

Or you can go to a psychiatrist, which is basically a psychologist with an MD and can perscribe drugs too.

i thought they need atleast a MA to even be a psych

[miSsy_chriSsy]

How can we hug you if we don't know who you are?? :(

[decypher]

Originally Posted by SEAN!

i thought they need atleast a MA to even be a psych

You need a PHD to be a psychologist and it's far from being a psychiatrist.


As for the matter at hand, everyone goes through varying levels of depression. Some choose to detach their minds from their bodies with drugs, some choose other routes.

It changes your whole perspective of life; everything around you is cynical. What you have to do is change your perspective. Enjoy the simple things that nature has to offer, that friends and family have to offer, and be thankful that you don't live in Somalia or somewhere similiar.

Sounds like you are having trouble finding direction in life which in turn is making you skip school and whallow in your own misery. This isn't a path you want to take for very long. Why not go travelling or apply yourself to a challenge which will make you feel accomplished.

Looking at whatever you do as fleeting is not a way to look at life. It's difficult i know and you're never going to be completely sure of everything, so just get out there and do something about it.

[gratia]

please please please....whatever you do....find someone to talk to about this ASAP. i can empathize with your situation because i have been there/i'm still trying to get away from 'there'. but the worst times were always the times i tried to go it alone. don't listen to the excuses(lies in your head) telling you to just get over it cause others have it far worse or suck it up cause no body wants to hear about your issues or they are your issues don't put them on anyone else. it is true that everybody goes through times like these, to varrying degrees, in life and i believe friends are there to walk beside us when we can hardly stand. if your friends aren't there for you when you need them most then i would seriously evaluate the 'friendship'. but you also have to give friends a chance to help.......find someone you trust and love and tell them what's going on for you. do iiiit.


ps. hugs and cuddles also work wonders ;)

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

Originally Posted by Prissypants

My only piece of advice is: If you have serious problems then seek professional help. A bunch of ravers on a message board can only give you tidbits of advice but will not help with your problems. A mental health professional can help you identify the roots of your problems and give you the tools to deal with them.

Good luck. :)

I think he said it the best...

You seriously need to go to family or a professional. Good Luck ;D

[iamfallin]

Tonight, I realized I can't bottle this up anymore.
It's destroying me inside and I came close to hitting rock bottom tonight.
I couldn't do anything, and even broke down. 2 nights in a row in fact...
This has been a very rough week..
After posting my intial message, it's almost as if things have intensified.
...

On another note.
I'm not a big fan of professional help ...

[LimeGreenLaser]

Originally Posted by ebbomega

I'm not much of a fan of "mental health professionals" myself. Really a lot of people with Bachelor's Degrees in psychology are playing the part of an objective listener, they just have a degree that says they're more qualified (IE they couldn't get an actual Degree so they got a psych one).

But ultimately, if you feel like you can't talk to anybody there's always an option that'll cost you 40 bucks an hour.

Or you can go to a psychiatrist, which is basically a psychologist with an MD and can perscribe drugs too.

Correct me if I'm wrong, I heard you are required to go through the family doctor first in order to get permission to see a psychologists.

Other than that, sorry to hear that you aren't being too happy in life at the moment. One of my advises to you at the moment is to read some books related to your situation, it may do some help or even a big help towards changing in life.