when...

[nabs]

things seem to go wrong, then something happens and you cant complain, because it makes the original problem seem like nothing.

my best friend, i knew her cousin, shes only 17 and i remember going shopping with her and everything, and it seems like just yesterday we were hanging out and watching her smile and glow, helping her pick out makup and going shopping with them for her prom, she had cancer, and i just found out a few hours ago that she passed away.

its totally devastating. life goes on, but it is like totally devastating.

and i feel like an asshole because i was trying to contact my best friend for a couple weeks now, and i was mad at her for not returning my calls, this was selfish of me, but i didnt know what was happening. and finally today she called me and told me what happened and what has been happpening. and when i got the news, i literally like almost fainted. so im trying to figure out a way to help out my best friend, be there for her emotionally, and ready all the time, but she seems to not want to see me or anyone right now, which is understandable.

but it hurts like *in there*. and i will always remember her.

[mugsy]

in situations like these, she probably doesnt know where to begin to start to deal with it. youre a good friend for understanding her need of space, and whatever need she may come through - its such a gross thing to go through.

i know what has helped me personally, is the canadian cancer society - im lucky to have an "in" so i get alot of information about cancer, dealing with it, helping others and so on without having the awful - because it is and feels that way - situation of having to tell someone how i feel or ask questions.

reality can be really hard to face sometimes, friends can point you towards it but you have to find it yourself. i at least know this, but admit to not even turning my head towards the direction of my own reality.

anyways, honestly, what you are doing, and how you are understanding makes you an amazing friend. if you want more information check out canadian cancer society website, or any local hospice. if its another thing ive learned is that even my friends who are affected by cancer in my family need to talk to someone about it\need to deal with it.
again, i cant stress more - understanding space, needs, time is the best hing you can do.

[nabs]

^^
i decided its for the best. ill be here for her when she needs me. but its like so wierd. i spaced out so much at work today, just thinking about allison, and daisy. and it really hurts.

[gratia]

ya. cancer is rough. i have lost a few family members to it. the worst is seeing them just decay.....and knowing you can do nothing about it. their just waiting to die. ugh.

but enough about me.........hugs for you nabs. and seriously. like mugs says.....knowledge is suuuch a wonderful thing. understanding cancer and how it works and all that....and how it effects people......is a huge help when dealing with this stuff. loosing people to cancer is totally different than just having someone die. and it will totally help you to know how to help out your friend. but like you said, what she needs most now is just to know that you are there with a shoulder available for her to cry on if she needs. lwt her know you're there and she'll come to you when she's ready. and don't feel bad if she doesn't come to you for support either. i know i get like that when friends go elsewhere ...but she will go where she knows she can get what she needs.

[BongMan]

I hate cancer and after seeing family members go through it I hope someone would have the heart to end it for me before it got really bad.

[Skitzo_Style]

just give her time to grieve and then things will be back to normal.

just always keep the great memories you had with her always and her life will not have been ill spent.

[brokencrayon]

Give her and her family my best Nabs, I would call her but it has been so long I don't know what I would even say and wouldn't want to just impose and seem intrusive. I know she loved her cousin very much and it is truly tragic this illness took another preson from this world but atleast she isn't in pain suffering through the treatments and everything I guess. :(