Losing your best friend of 10 years

[*SunShyne*]

So it's Saturday night, I'm sober, boyfriend is passed out snoring, and I've just lost my best friend of 10 years... I need to vent.

I told him to go fuck himself and cancel his plane ticket out here, he should be thinking about how lucky he is now that we're 5000kms away from eachother with how mad I am.

He said something so insanely embarassing and cruel... I had no idea he was capable of saying anything like that.

We've known eachother since we were kids.

It's like I've lost my shaddow.

I'm too upset for words.

Fuck him.

[Heffy]

sorry to hear that. it funny how ppl cam change. it sucks. but it happens.

happy trails in the future.

[Liqwid]

sorry, i hate losing friends...

they are hard to come by....

[Sykonee]

Originally Posted by *SunShyne*

So it's Saturday night, I'm sober, boyfriend is passed out snoring, and I've just lost my best friend of 10 years... I need to vent.

I told him to go fuck himself and cancel his plane ticket out here, he should be thinking about how lucky he is now that we're 5000kms away from eachother with how mad I am.

He said something so insanely embarassing and cruel... I had no idea he was capable of saying anything like that.

We've known eachother since we were kids.

It's like I've lost my shaddow.

I'm too upset for words.

Fuck him.

All too often, someone in this case thinks of you as more than a friend, no matter which way you perceive it. So, if he sees you with someone else, he may end up becoming very resentful, and lash out.

[esoter1c]

Originally Posted by Heffmeister

Happy trails in the future.

:285: I bet that just made her aaaallllllll better.

[KenJi]

^ no kidding eh>?

He should really try the whole "think before you speak or type".

Isn't that right Kenny Rogers!!

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

"Even best friends aren't forever. Friendship is built on similarities, and you can't call anyone a best friend unless they call you a best friend too. It's a sad but natural process: When one friend's life situation changes, so does the friendship. Change is progress, not betrayal. Keep the parting gentle and the memory sweet, and who knows? Sometime in the future, your best friend could turn up again out of the blue as that other precious relationship in life: An old friend"

I found that in a magazine about two months after someone I called my 'bestfriend' did something horrible to me, and a few other people. I always thought she was the sweetest person, could do no harm..but sometimes people change without us even knowing..and thats what she did. She grew up, and any anger that she had towards us over the years (obviously holding serious grudges) and let it all out in one shameless night. Even after making up over a year later..we were just too different to be the way we were. Thats just life. All though the situation hurt me alot, I still have no bad feelings for her. Shes someone I will always consider a friend, even if we see each other maybe once a year.

I lost a few 'good' friends that year..and although she did the worse thing, she was the only one I cared about. Those other people were just fake. Sometimes people use you for whatever reasons, and those are the ones you should never let back into your life.

Since you have been friends with him for years, maybe its been a long time coming? Maybe his surroundings have changed him in more ways that you could ever tell..Sometimes you just have to forgive and forget, and think more about your friendship, than the things he did wrong. Its a hard decision, but since you seem to care so much about him..its almost worth talking over..forgiving him.

Good luck.

[*SunShyne*]

Thanks guys...

I'm the foolish kinda gal who will try to work this out with him... but man, am I ever going to be watching my back over the next little while

[Heffy]

Originally Posted by KenJi

^ no kidding eh>?

He should really try the whole "think before you speak or type".

Isn't that right Kenny Rogers!!

Hey, thats as empathetic as get when I'm fuckinhammered.

Everything I said was true. It was just very succint and not sugar coated in any way.

"Happy trails" --- i don't know where the fuck THAT came f rom. lol

[-evil-duerr-]

as tough as it is to lose friends,
its much better you've found out sooner than later that the friendship is a negative one.

[onefour]

Originally Posted by LLaaUUrrYYn

Even best friends aren't forever. Friendship is built on similarities, and you can't call anyone a best friend unless they call you a best friend too.

im sorry i didnt read the rest of your post. i completely disagree with this post tho. i have many people who i consider my best friends and im not quite sure if they do the same, maybe im just easier too please or have lower standards for 'best friends' but someone who is really your bestfriend, or even a simply good friend will accept you for who you are no matter what, hell sometimes i dont see or hardly talk too my "best friends" for 6 months, but we dont hold shit against each other and pick up where we left off.


and who cares about loosing a best friend of 10 years, obviously you have better friends now too replace them. :)

[LLaaUUrrYYn]

Originally Posted by onefour

and who cares about loosing a best friend of 10 years, obviously you have better friends now too replace them. :)

Because I dont have the energy to have another fnk war over another stupid comment....im just going to say this..

You have obviously never have an amazing friendship that has lasted years, and then all of a sudden slipped away..because that is not an attitude someone who has, would have.

[Jingles]

A real friend of ten years shouldn't be tossed over one dumb comment
A real friend is someone you would talk it through with and that doesn't make you dumb for wanting to save a great friendship
If that's what it is, a great friendship, then save it.
And if it's him showing true colours or you finally tuning in then give yourself a pat on the back for letting a poisonous friend walk away.

[ebbomega]

So....

What did he say?

[Ashley*Dawn]

See I've gone threw my fair share of friends. Some of them were good friend's some I couldn't be bothered by losing them. I've got 4 really good friend now. I could see myself loosing contact with couple of them. I'd be heart broken though, I'd try everything in my power to make it work and make thing's stay good between us. I've got a lot less friend's now but the one's I've got I know are real true friends. If your willing to throw away and 10 year friendship cause of something stupid he said. Well I think you need a swift kick in the ass. Good friend's are hard to come by these days, dont throw away the one's you've got.

[*SunShyne*]

Originally Posted by onefour

and who cares about loosing a best friend of 10 years, obviously you have better friends now too replace them. :)

See, thats the thing.

I've just moved out here, and I know 3 people... nice people... but just 3 people.

It's not like I can set up a "now accepting applications for a new best friend" competition (a la South Park)...

So....

What did he say?

I did something foolish a few years ago and he brought it up... something I don't ever want my boyfriend to know about me, or anyone I know to know about... and he broadcasted it to everyone I know back home and it almost leaked to my boyfriend. The reason he brought this up? I called one of his ex girlfriends a white trash skank. They broke up something like 6 months or so ago. He knew how I felt about her then, but I always held it in and never brought it up. He claims to have no feelings for her as they are now "just friends".

Yeah.

Pissed.

Of course, it seems like nothing, there's more to the story, I just don't have the energy to type it all out.

We're barely talking... he's supposed to fly out next wednesday

[*SunShyne*]

Originally Posted by Ashley*Dawn

Good friend's are hard to come by these days, dont throw away the one's you've got.

ain't that the truth

[tiedye]

thank god no matter where I go, I've still got Tuna. The dude's always in my heart.

[ebbomega]

Originally Posted by *SunShyne*

I did something foolish a few years ago and he brought it up... something I don't ever want my boyfriend to know about me, or anyone I know to know about... and he broadcasted it to everyone I know back home and it almost leaked to my boyfriend. The reason he brought this up? I called one of his ex girlfriends a white trash skank. They broke up something like 6 months or so ago. He knew how I felt about her then, but I always held it in and never brought it up. He claims to have no feelings for her as they are now "just friends".

Yeah.

Pissed.

Of course, it seems like nothing, there's more to the story, I just don't have the energy to type it all out.

We're barely talking... he's supposed to fly out next wednesday

Rather than point out all the inconsistencies in your explanation and gripe at you for how trivial this all seems, I'll just leave it to say while you may be emotionally agitated, just remember there are three sides to every story.
1) yours
2) his
3) the truth

And while they may not be mutually exclusive, they are all different, guaranteed.

[onefour]

Originally Posted by LLaaUUrrYYn

Because I dont have the energy to have another fnk war over another stupid comment....im just going to say this..

You have obviously never have an amazing friendship that has lasted years, and then all of a sudden slipped away..because that is not an attitude someone who has, would have.

actually you are dead wrong, but im really good at moving on and looking at the big picture, soooooooo....... just stfu and quit bitching.

[onefour]

Originally Posted by *SunShyne*

See, thats the thing.

I've just moved out here, and I know 3 people... nice people... but just 3 people.

if you only know 3 people then you must have alot of time too find new friends. in 1 year ive accumulated atleast 2-4 people i would consider really good friends, and in 4-5 years maybe 1-2 of them might become 'best' friends. pretty much you gotta look at it like this....

this is a golden oppertunity to find new amazing poeple and find people who you ahve even more in common with then the previous groups you knew :)

[LiveOnJim]

Sometimes people say stupid shit, but your willing to loose a friend for 10 years over some words , mind you maybe you've and this person have been threw tougher shit thant that, maybe people should try harder to make friendships work than giving up so easly