being overbearing -- how do you not do it?

Jingles · #1 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

if i go out on a date and i have a good time - i wanna tell the other person right away

like it takes all my will power not to call them first thing in the morning or msg when they pop online

i wanna ask right away to do it again
but instead i'm supposed to play it all cool, when i just want to jump up and down...

it's not right
how do you keep yourself from going overboard too quickly?

axion · #2 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

i have the same problem.

i really want to respect other people's space and have them respect mine, but at the same time i want them to know exactly how i feel about them. it's incredibly hard to find a balance between the two.

Vertigo · #3 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

If they truely were worth speaking to they wouldn't mind. Do what you think is right not how society thinks you should behave. Of course there's a fine line between happy to see/talk to someone and being a stalker... lol

MistressSpankME · #4 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

^ I agree, personally if i had a great time with the person I would be flattered to hear him say so even the next day. BUT, people are different (especially males). I find that they might get freaked out a bit easier than if a girl was to be told how much someone enjoyed their "date".

But personally, I think I keep from "going overboard" by being too afraid to let them know in the first place.. Unless I know them well or feel super comfy with them I'm not going to be able to gush over them (to their face at least :P). If the whole thing is new, and I'm intimidated then I won't be as quick to let them know how much I enjoy being around them. I'd probably be worried about even calling them too soon, I hate "following the rules of dating" but sometimes they are good guidelines (or good excuses for me to pussy out.. either one haha). I think it's a slowly fading deffense mechanism of mine, unless I know they feel the same for sure I'm not going to be super open about my feelings for them or it will just add insult to injury if things don't work out.

hardstylin · #5 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

i just come right out and do it, if there not down they will let you know.

Vertigo · #6 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

You see some of us guys can be a little closed minded when it comes to handling feelings. I've been guilty of it myself, however I realized that by doing that you're just closing the door on a potentially incredible experience, regardless of what the outcome is later on down the road. You can't avoid making mistakes in life but you can learn from them...

MrDFrost · #7 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

I say roll with your feelings, because most of the time....its very much reciprocated

rawb · #8 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

i find the big thing is the medium. i personally grade each date with a letter score and then write it on my boobs. then i send them a pensive, shirt off webcam shot.

this may work better for girls because it's never worked for me.

MrDFrost · #9 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

i think you've got something there...

frogprincess · #10 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

delete their contact from your list of contacts on msn and delete their number from your cell fone

Bobby_T · #11 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vertigo

You see some of us guys can be a little closed minded when it comes to handling feelings. I've been guilty of it myself, however I realized that by doing that you're just closing the door on a potentially incredible experience, regardless of what the outcome is later on down the road. You can't avoid making mistakes in life but you can learn from them...

Taylor = a great addition to the site.

well said.

trance4life · #12 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by hardstylin

i just come right out and do it, if there not down they will let you know.

was going to say something close to that

Kelster · #13 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by frogprincess

delete their contact from your list of contacts on msn and delete their number from your cell fone

I DO THAT!!!

if i like the person a lot and i know they're not feeling the same way, i get rid of their number or msn!

maryah, if you had fun i'm sure the guy had fun as well...i'd call if i was def feeling it :D

Gusto · #14 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Haha.. yeah, I'm pretty sure I've been guilty of this, so I'm not qualified to answer your question.

Sariel · #15 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

I believe that you should be open, honest, and forthcoming with your feelings. You don't have to leap overboard and tell them you love them right away, but at least let them know that you do enjoy spending time with them, and that you have fun while together.

MistressSpankME · #16 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoBBy_T

Taylor = a great addition to the site.

well said.

Agreed.

But is he sexy? Thats the question :D

MistressSpankME · #17 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sariel

I believe that you should be open, honest, and forthcoming with your feelings. You don't have to leap overboard and tell them you love them right away, but at least let them know that you do enjoy spending time with them, and that you have fun while together.

Now that I think about it.. I have no problem telling them I had a great time with them, of course. But the whole feelings thing is a little scarier for me, as I'm sure it is for most people.

Vertigo · #18 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by MistressSpankME

Agreed.

But is he sexy? Thats the question :D

If you're implying that only ugly men are able to understand the concept of not freaking out or doing something stupid when a female expresses her feelings then I must be an exception to the rule! But thanks for your concern...<G>:202:

Sariel · #19 (**permalink**) Jun 23, 04

Quote:

Originally Posted by MistressSpankME

Now that I think about it.. I have no problem telling them I had a great time with them, of course. But the whole feelings thing is a little scarier for me, as I'm sure it is for most people.

Emotions can be scarey things. Especially when people doubt their emotions, doubt the other persons emotions, or get scared of them.

Never doubt your emotions. You feel how you feel, and there is no point in doubting it. Sure, you might not know WHY you feel something, but you obviously feel that way, so take it from there.

Doubting how someone else feels is unproductive. You either have to take them at face value, and trust that they are being honest with you and go from there, or you can believe that they are not being honest with you, at which point it is probably best if you get out of a situation like that.

Being scared of your emotional state is only natural. We are human, and strong feelings do tend to scare us when they get too intense. But if you can realize that you feel how you are going to feel regardless, and can either ignore or get past that fear, then you are giving yourself the best possible chance for happiness in your relationships.