knowing it's going to be too hard

[impure]

knowing you're going to lose, maybe only for a little while and knowing how much you're going to miss them.
hoping they don't hlold anything against you and that they know how much you care.

but knowing all that is not likely, and fearing the worst.

[impure]

and then waking up to realize that despite your good intentions, shit will always run downhill.
and that taking the blame for something that isn't really yours hurts, espescially when it's to protect someone you care about more than you knew possible.
taking the blame from someone you protected so much in the past, someone who's too insecure to realize that you did these things for them not TO them. shielded from emotional trauma in ways that they don't realize, and you just can't bring yourself to tell them no matter how much it hurts to keep quiet. no matter how much the truth would set you free you just can't bring your self to tell them.
and knowing the only reason for your silent internal battle is the preservation of the future.

[impure]

the end.