If I could talk to my pet, I would tell him...

[Mr Ektion]

"I get why you do it. But it really isn't necessary for you to lick my face while I'm sleeping at night."

Is there anything that you need to say?

[meth0dical]

dont lick your balls when company's over, it's rude.

[mojo]

you fucking stink. get off the bloody couch already, and learn to shit in one corner of the yard or so help me i'll poison your kibbles and get a cat.

Just playin, you're my dogg.

[Lil Jenna]

Maybe Im a little crazy but I do talk to my cats from time to time lol

But if they could understand me I would explain to them how to use our toilet in the bathroom and flush.

[project.one]

"Why are you such a dumbass?"

"Why do you only do that when company is over?"

"Why do you only do that when no one's around?"

"WHY DO YOU ONLY COME INTO MY ROOM WHEN YOU HAVE TO FART?"

"Your the greatest dog in the world!"

[baby-phat]

^^ hahaha..

Like Jenna, I do talk to my cat sometimes (and I meow back at him too like it's a game). LOL.

"when I get mad and yell at you, why do you always insist on getting back at me by taking a stinky dump?"
"you're the bestest and most affectionate kitty I've ever owned. love you"

[-evil-duerr-]

aahhh.. pet people. god bless their souls

[project.one]

"What the hell did I feed you when you were a pup that made you so big? WTF Howd you do that, you were so small when I got you!!!"

[baby-phat]

^ my cat was so tiny when I got him (he was the runt) and now the comment I get most about him is "wow, he's huge" (not fat-huge but he's a big kitty).

[Mr Ektion]

If you have the common sense to poop in the litter box, could you do me the favor of 'hair balling' in there too?

[project.one]

"Why don't you ever play fetch?"

[impure]

"your stall is huge and take such care to only shit against the back wall, you have all that space left so why do you insist with you bum in the back of your stall right in your poop?"

"if you hate baths so much then stop laying in it!"

"WHOA DAMMIT!"


i love my baby, she's the most amazing horse i've owned.

[dj outrayjus]

if I could talk to my cat I would have to ask...

whats the deal with your spazz attacks?
why do you attack the shit out of ppl when they come over?
and why the hell do you like to sleep in plastic bags?

ps- youre a psycho and I love you more than anything :)

[mithridate]

mateo, i love you so much, you have no idea.!

[Lil Jenna]

How do you eat soo much?

Please stop breaking into where I have hidden your food and pigging out all day. If you keep it up, I am buying you a kitty treadmill and putting you on a diet.

lol ;)

[baby-phat]

^^ hehe..
I have this plastic pet food container so I empty the bags of food into it and keep it slightly out of reach from my cat. He's a sneaky little devil, knows how to open Tim Horton's donut things, cracker boxes and other such things.

[impure]

^^we had this really really (32!!!) old palomino pony that we let have run of the farm. he never went farther than the feed shed, the back yard or the pear tree on the front yard. the feed shed was locked but he'd pick up things we'd dropped on the ground, but he learned how to grab the pear tree by a branch and shake it until pears dropped so he could gum until he could swallow the mushy pear! he would stand there all day with a happy look on his face and white foam from the pear juice all over his mouth.
he also learned how to get into our mud room when the door wasn't latched. we caught him in the house with his head buried in the bag of dog food, he'd eaten quite a bit by the time we got home from work and busted him! i guess he lost his taste buds when his vision and teeth started failing!

i miss sammy :( he lived to be 35!!

[KrisisID]

^^RIP SAMMY

"i miss you natasha! come home kitty!" we had to give him away (not my decision).



...yes him, long story behind the name.

[Mr Ektion]

LISTEN CAT.

_I'M_ the human. So the middle of the bed should be mine! And it's not my fault if you get crushed in the middle of the night.

[impure]

sometimes i miss watching the little old man gum the pears!
we used to put my friends 3yr old daughter faith on him with just a halter and rope, always telling her not to go far. sammy was a world class reining horse in his prime, and he'd take such good care of faith, they'd jog all around the farm while we're yelling "FAITH GET BACK HERE!" and she'd yell "NO! COME GET ME!"
faith died when she was four of a brain tumor the docs said was the 2nd fastest growing cancer they'd ever discovered :( it was truly devastating.

[impure]

i never realized the two of them, faith and sammy, died around the same time. it's nice we'll always have the happy memories of the two of them playing together. :)

[brit]

we are really REALLY sorry we left you with Willis, we know he kills cats.

[matéo]

your butthole feels different lately, a good different.

[Lil Jenna]

^ wtf hahahahaah... eeeewww

[M.C. BEAR]

im black n shit aint easy so quit frontin