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| The Chronical Chill out, spark a jay, and enter the chronical. |
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Oct 10, 04
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No more
I'm a fiend. Who the fuck does MDA on a Friday night with nothing better to do than go to a highschool football game with his buddy?
We went back to my place and sat and talked for awhile. Out of nowhere he asks me "So, why did you Doves tonight, man?" I don't know if it was the drug fuckin with me, or whatever, but I could not answer. The words would not come to me and I was forced to sit there and pretend I didn't hear him... "What?" Honestly, though, in the back of my mind I knew why I had done them. It was the same old cliche... I wanted to escape something. Escape what? I love my life, what is there to escape from? Escape the hold of drugs by taking drugs? I always knew that I would be able to control myself... I wouldn't be here admitting my problem if I wasn't. This isn't a cry for help, this is a messege that reads "No more". Not one mg of anything like this will ever touch my lips again. All my connections can go fuck themselves. The 12 hits of acid coming to me, hell... I'll give em away. So as I sit here now, ending one insanely fun but thoroughly damaging chapter in my life. I can take comfort in the fact that I have come out on top. With a good head on my shoulders and all the will power I will need to pull myself over any obstacles. 
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Oct 10, 04
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good luck to you man.... it's hard to do, but you got to realise its all in your head, you can do it, just dont think about it and dont let anyone try and get you back into it.... i have friends who are just as bad, and one of my friends has been clean for half a month now, it may not seem like a long time, but for a drug addict it is... but i think you should take it slow, its hard to just stop, you need to do it in stages, steps, but it is possible to quit.. you just got to put your entire mind to it
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Oct 10, 04
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Good luck man.
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Oct 10, 04
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Quote:
All I do is compare the good to the bad. Is your 5 hour high worth it? Think of what you are doing to your brain! Is 2 days of ED an alright price to pay for a night of twitching eyes, random speech, introspective nightmares, and large doses of paranoia? And thats just a few hours post dosing... you have at least 2 more days of comedowns. So, this is it. No more. I'm actually happier with myself today than I ever have been before.
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Oct 10, 04
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"Hoods don't quit. They just take breaks" - Tee's Monitor.
Talk is cheap. If you've had your fill for now, stop doing it. Saying you're gonna stop is merely part 1. Good luck. I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well. I will find the center in you. I will chew it up and leave, Trust me Trust me Trust me Trust me Trust me....
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Oct 10, 04
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accually i think he's being quite mature about this... i think you can do it, you just have to watch out for the people you hang out with cuz soon it'll be "just one time, dont worry, its not THAT bad" but really drugs are NOT worth it, they fuck up your brain, emotions, friendships, family, YOUR LIFE.......
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Oct 10, 04
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Oct 10, 04
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Yeah, I'll be fine. It's just getting over the fact that I did so much damage with so much disregard.
This is not the end of partying for me... just certain things. Only alcohol from now on.
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Oct 11, 04
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you still have to be careful with alcohol too, alcohol leads to other drugs.... my friend whos been clean for like 2 months, drank a couple beers one night, wasnt even that drunk, and he decided to do coke.... stick with pot, thats my anti drug of choice...... trust me it works........ maybe you should become friends with me :) i got 3 of my friends off drugs, and they did drugs every single day, one of them has gained 20 pounds since he met me!!! amazing how one person can effect another
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Oct 11, 04
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I'll be able to stay with my commitment, easily. A couple beers won't get me back on it, a night of complete drunkeness isn't going to get me back on it either. Pot? Maybe... but I never really smoke it regularly anyway.
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Oct 13, 04
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well your talking to one of the biggest stoner around!!!!! i smoke at least a half ounce a day..minimum haha.... in fact i'm stoned right now!!
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