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Dec 04, 06
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Top 7 Idiots of 2006
> >>>>Number One
>Idiot of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology > >>>>at > >>>the > >>>>poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset > >>>>because > >>>>she > >>>>caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her > >>>>that > >>>the > >>>>ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her > >>>>daughter > >>>>into > >>>>the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the > >>>>conversation > >>>>happened > >>>>to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in > > >>>>order > >>>to > >>>>kill > >>>>the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into > >>>>the > >>>>emergency > >>>>room right away. > >>>> > >>>>Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride. > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>> > >>>>Number Two Idiot of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided > >>>>to > >>>steal > >>>>a > >>>>life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting > >>>>it > >>>out > >>>>of > >>>>the >plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on > >>>>the > >>>river, > >>>>they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It > >>>>turned > >>>out > >>>>that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon > >>>>that > >>>>activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer > >>>>employed at > >>>>Boeing. > >>>> > >>>>Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>> > >>>>Number Three Idiot of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of >America, walked into > >>>>the > >>>Branch > >>>>and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." > >>>>While > >>>>standing > >>>>in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to > >>>>worry > >>>that > >>>>someone had seen him write the note and might call the police > >>>>before > >>>he > >>>>reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and > >>>crossed > >>>>the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes > >>>>in > >>>line, > >>>>he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, > >>>surmising > >>>>from his > >>>>spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the >harbor, > >>>>told > >>>>him that she > >>>>could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a > >>>>Bank of > >>>>America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a > >>>>Wells > >>>>Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking > >>>>somewhat > >>>>defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few > >>>>minutes > >>>>later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. > >>>> > >>>>Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it > >>>anyway. > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>> > >>>>Number Four Idiot of >2005 > >>>> > >>>>A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap > >>>>that > >>> > >>>>measured > >>>>his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received > >>>>in > >>>the > >>>>mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, > >>>>he > >>>sent > >>>>the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he > >>>>received > >>>>a letter from the police that contained another picture, this > >>>>time of > >>>>handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. > >>>> > >>>>Smartass... but you still get a >sign > >>>> > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>>Number Five Idiot of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and > >>>>demanded > >>>all > >>>>of > >>>>the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in > >>>>a > >>>bag, > >>>>the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the > >>>>counter on > >>>>the > >>>>shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the > >>>cashier > >>>>refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The > >>>robber > >>>>said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to >him > >>>>because she > >>>>didn't > >>>>believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license > >>>>out > >>>of > >>>>his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and > >>>agreed > >>>>that > >>>>the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. > >>>>The > >>>robber > >>>>then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly > >>>>called the > >>>>police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got > >>>>off the > >>>>license. They arrested the robber two hours later. > >>>> > >>>>This guy definitely needs a >sign. > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>> > >>>>Idiot Number Six of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously > >>>>waving > >>>>revolvers. > >>>>The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the > >>>>startled > >>>>first bandit shot him. > >>>> > >>>>This guy doesn't even deserve a sign > >>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >>>>Idiot Number Seven of 2005 > >>>> > >>>>Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He > > >>>>decided > >>>that > >>>>he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, > >>>>grab > >>>some > >>>>booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over > >>>>his > >>>head > >>>>at the > >>>>window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. > >>>>It > >>>seems > >>>>the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event > >>>>was > >>>>caught on videotape. Yep, Here's your sign Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote. 
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Dec 04, 06
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sue me.
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Dec 05, 06
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does it really bother you That much?
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Dec 05, 06
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i'm more bothered by the fact that it took you thirty seconds to make a post.
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Dec 06, 06
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don't tell me it was even more than two minutes.
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Dec 06, 06
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Dec 06, 06
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pick one personality and stick with it... then you might actually be worth something.
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Dec 06, 06
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i can't still like you and think you're an idiot, hence the handshake.
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Dec 06, 06
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speak for yourself...
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Dec 06, 06
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... maybe that's cuz i'm an idiot... please don't try and be all buddy buddy with me next time you see me... don't worry you have nothing to be afraid of, i won't gather all of my "crazy russian friends" and try and go after you, it's not my style. peace
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