so i fell off my horse....

impure · #1 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

it's been raining here quite a bit and when it rains here too much they cancel races. on sunday there was like a monsoon before the races. i really really wasn't into being there in the cold wind and rain in 12' of clay mud race track. but i had to work from the first race till the last. so i showed up, it was gonna be a big pay day. i get all saddled up and head up to work the first race. the whole time praying the jockeys will refuse to ride after one race because the surface of the track was unsafe.
so my first horse of the day is a dirty rotten flipping-over cheap bitch.
i'm battling through post parade and praying i can get her to the starting gate without her flopping over into the mud. we make it to the chute behind the gate and wait until the gate crew calls us to load. the whole time she's trying to flip or climb over my pony. i'm starting to hate this day.
right as all the other racehorses and their escort ponys come behind the gate and it starts to get crowded i glance around to make sure i'm not going to get run over. it's like fucking rushour traffic back there, but with rotten race horses and wet pony horses.
the split second i take my eyes of the bitch i've got a hold of, she throws herself in the air and tries to flip again, only this time the 12' deep clay mud that is the racing surface that day, slips out from under her and i look down in time to see her fall under me and my pony and the jockey sprawled out, half submerged in red mud.
now at this time i'm half pulled off the right side of my pony because i held on to the bitter end when she splashed on her side in the mud. the same second i see her under me and my pony, my pony also sees her under us. that's when she decided to get the hell outta dodge. she spun out from under me so fast i cartwheeled into the mud. but i held onto the reins so that there wouldn't be ANOTHER loose horse behind the gate in all that horse traffic.
holding on meant that i got drug through the slop.
when i stand up, laughing along with everyone else who was there, i had mud EVERYWHERE. like in my bra and everything.
my back was covered, all up under my shirt 'n shit.
we were all laughing just because we were all so muddy.
my pony had mud to her armpits, the horse we were ponying who caused the wreck had mud all the way up to her face on the side she flipped on, and me and the jockey were a lovely shade of red/orange.
now i'm thinking i have work for the next 5 hours in this condition.
i'm not too impressed.
but they cancelled the races, YAY!

mapleleaf4ever · #2 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

So you mudwrestled your Horse?!

I hope you won!

Next time teach that Horse who's Boss!

frogprincess · #3 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

tony's the boss!

frogprincess · #4 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

and charles is in charge

Grapes · #5 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

Stop getting mud on the keyboard.

wishbone · #6 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

i believe the saying is "you get back on the horse"

Séguin · #7 (**permalink**) Jan 23, 07

Or
"If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help jack off the horse?"

wishbone · #8 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

i get it!

tiedye · #9 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Hope you filly better.

#10 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

THE PUNS, OH THE PUNS!

tiedye · #11 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

I'd make sure you go to a doctor, impure. You might be guilding a fever as we speak.

#12 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

I'd make sure you go to a doctor, impure. You might be guilding a fever as we speak.

Chadwick, always with the kind words. Totally the Neiggghhh-borly thing to do.

tiedye · #13 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

You sound a little horse, Avana.

#14 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

You sound a little horse, Avana.

it is all the colts I have been smoking.

tiedye · #15 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Oh man! I was trying soooooo hard to think of a way to use that. Well done. I have to admit, it's a little saddling that you beat me.

#16 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

Oh man! I was trying soooooo hard to think of a way to use that. Well done. I have to admit, it's a little saddling that you beat me.

Hay, no worries, we all have our off days when we seem to be trotting behind the rest of the herd.

tiedye · #17 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Well you know I don't have the most stable mind.

#18 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

Well you know I don't have the most stable mind.

you should probably have that checked out considering it should be your mane money maker.

tiedye · #19 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Neigh.. I don't have much riding on that one anyways.

#20 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiedye

Neigh.. I don't have much riding on that one anyways.

And I always thought that you were such a thoroughbred.

tiedye · #21 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Oh, don't get me wrong.. I'm still a stallion, even if I am a little lame at times.

Séguin · #22 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

oh god dammit!

LLaaUUrrYYn · #23 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Hahaha!

Karma for both of you because that totally made me 'laugh out loud' here at work!

I fell off a horse once on my way back from a horse show..and I had a concussion and havent been on a horse since.

I hate horses. I onlyshowed because my sister did..I never really enjoyed it.

=)

Hopefully your ok though..no injuries?

Grapes · #24 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

People in this thread think they're so great.

Get off your high horse.

But not like impure did.

#25 (**permalink**) Jan 24, 07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grapes

People in this thread think they're so great.

Get off your high horse.

But not like impure did.

Dave, I am glad you ponied up and contributed to this.