have u ever been in love?

[Goat]

i love cake

[miss.myra]

Originally Posted by rawb

NOT TO BE A DICK BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE SEEM TO BE CONFUSING "LOVE" WITH THE COMFORT THAT CO-DEPENDENCE BRINGS

WAIT A MINUTE, THOSE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS?!

[liquidblue]

Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.

[stabmyhead]

I am totally in love with meeeee!

^ "you must love your self before you can love another"


I think the way ppl fall in love is no different as it was in the old days whether it be infatuation of a match made in heaven. But what I find so strange is that nowadays we date more ppl and take much longer before we "find the one". Instead of finding the one (often the first) at age 20-25... we now "find the one" between ages 25-35 (after many tries/lovers)

So how come nowadays the divorce rate is so much higher than in the olden days?

I think a lot of people just dont take marriage as serious as they use to. "Sure I love you, but if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce".

In your vows you promise to be there for one an other in sickness and in health. Yet the majority of marriages that have a partner go through cirvic/prostate cancer end up getting divorced?

[Gusto]

love and marriage aren't the same thing. the divorce rate is higher now for a number of reasons which would probably include the decline of church power, an increase in womens rights and the media.

sure you can say that people aren't taking marriage as seriously these days, but you could also say that people could be taking love more seriously by not staying in a stale or unhappy marriage.

in your vows you don't have to promise to be there in sickness and in health, that's just a standard line, and in no way translates to "i'll stay married to you even when i don't love you anymore".

[ebbomega]

WUV, TWOO WUV....

If love and marriage arent the same thing... then what kind of love are we talking about? I dont agree that you have to prove love by getting married, but is true love not a feeling you have to one sole person that you can hold for a long period of time? A feeling that allows you to see their "bad" and "good" side, but still feel love for them more than anyone else in the world?

Ill agree there are other reasons for the divorce rate going up, such as people dont feel like social out casts, disobeying the catholic church is not so much a sin, and abusive/lying partners. Otherwise I feel that people are not trying to work things out and giving up too easy. Many mirages begin to crumble after 5-10 years. The sparks fade, sex is nill, and both sides become un-happy. I have met many ppl who are in this stage or have managed to pass it successfully. If you really fell in love with that person, wouldn't you be able to stick it out threw thick and thin?

[ebbomega]

Love = An emotion
Marriage = A legally recognized partnership

two VERY different things.

You can love someone and not want to spend the rest of your life with them.

[Revolver]

when and if i marry its going to be till death do us part,sickness and in health...all that sort of stuff. those are just the values ive been raised on and is found on all sides of my famiy extended and immediate

people who marry for deep rooted reasons of security,fear of being alone ect. are disasterous.those types are usually the ones who,underneath a silver lining, are bitterly unhappy and petty, and will be for the rest of their lives unless significant change is made.

i know people change over time yadda yadda but isnt the whole idea to choose a mate extremely carefully in anticipation for those changes?.....

the whole culture of "insta" divorce we have now really bothers me. unless its a case of extreme abuse of course.....

*edit*...dammit, why there gotta be this serious brainworkin thread on fnk...i come here to relax and not think to hard. lol

[rustybob]

Except for rawb on acid, it looks like I'm the only one who hasn't been in love. I better get on that.

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by rustybob

Except for rawb on acid, it looks like I'm the only one who hasn't been in love.

Read more carefully.

[Grapes]

Originally Posted by Gusto

love and marriage aren't the same thing.

They do, however, go together like a horse and carriage.

Just ask the local gentry!

Originally Posted by ebbomega

Love = An emotion
Marriage = A legally recognized partnership

two VERY different things.

You can love someone and not want to spend the rest of your life with them.

I will agree in reality they are not the same thing. Take for example arranged marriages. And on the opposite I know of couples who have been together for over 30 years and have kids, but have never gotten or wish to be married.

But really my point if your married and in love... what are the chances of it not working out? Maybe the word love is just being tossed around. I see many couples where one partner begins to use the "L" word. They then get offended if their partner doesnt say, "I love you" back. Why would you want to make your partner feel guilty or pressured into feeling something they arnt.

[yoko*]

Originally Posted by Revolver

when and if i marry its going to be till death do us part,sickness and in health...all that sort of stuff. those are just the values ive been raised on and is found on all sides of my famiy extended and immediate

Even if you are in an unhappy and or violent marriage? Doesn't sound very rational to me.

My parents have been married for 30-something years. I would ideally love to be as happily married as they are in the future, but I know that I can't control the feelings of my future partner and if I am in an unhappy marriage, though I would make an effort to make things work, I wouldn't just stay there because "my parents did it".

[rawb]

I WILL STAY WITH A GIRL AS LONG AS SHE KEEPS SENDING ME TO BONERTOWN

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by yoko*

Even if you are in an unhappy and or violent marriage? Doesn't sound very rational to me.

i understand completely what your saying.

but the thing is during courtship i would suss out the potential of that happening. i know myself, im not violent,a drunkard or a cheat and have been instilled strong morals by my strong family so violence and such wont come from my side and i dont think it woud come from the mate that i would choose.

the unhappiness thing is abit trickier.keep communication open and i think that could be avoided. there is therepy and couples councilling to help such woes.

but, the key is to find a mate with the same family morals that i have. once that happends %50 of all the uncertainty is take care of....the rest is taken care of in the bedroom lol

[laska]

No. But I can't wait! I'm gonna be the most loving person in love ever.

[SEAN!]

Originally Posted by rawb

I WILL STAY WITH A GIRL AS LONG AS SHE KEEPS SENDING ME TO BONERTOWN

all three holes baby!

[Carrie]

I have been in the 'I thought it was real' love and the real thing.

it's easier to fall in love then to fall out of love.

is this thread linked to the babies and marriage thread yet?

[SEAN!]

yo, does tossing someones salad mean you're in love with them?

oh yeah and i agree with the girl above me, but im still pretty sure it mightve actually been love inconjunction with an extreme form of lust, im scorpio like that.

[Lush]

I think not being able to fully define love is what makes it beautiful, it's one of those things that you just know.

It's strange though I think growing up helps you understand yourself more and I find the older I get the more capable I am of actually loving a person the way I should, only because I've finally reached a point in my life where I'm comfortable enough with myself.

That being said I've also realized that perhaps some of the emotions I faced when I was younger were merely infatuation. I think there's a certain level of maturity that needs to be attained before you can fully be capable of loving another individual in a romantic sense.

[hardstylin]

I just about told a gross story about my night in this thread but then stopped :(

[esoter1c]

Originally Posted by hardstylin

I just about told a gross story about my night in this thread but then stopped :(

[Gusto]

Originally Posted by R Wellbelove

I will agree in reality they are not the same thing.

right, in reality, where i live. anyway, my point is that if you can fall in love, you can fall out of it. as for marriage, it's just a status and is only what you make of it.

i think too many people look at divorce as a failure. granted there are "failed" marriages that end in divorce due to abuse and the like, but there are mutual divorces with happy endings. it's not the ideal end to any marriage from the start, but if it's handled right both parties can move on and find someone else. that's not a failure or a bad thing. i'd say it's worse to continue trying to fool yourself and your partner for the rest of your life.